Happy Holidays

Mathews own face began to lighten. “I remember every year my mom would make things likeLatkes andSufganiyot, they’re these sort of fried jelly donuts, and man were they good. My father would take my sister and I out skating and we built snowmen in our front yard until our hands were numb. And there was always hot chocolate inside waiting for us.” Mathew was now smiling as brightly as Neesha. “It’s not really the holiday that matters, you know what I mean? Passover is a bigger deal and more like Christmas in the sense that there’s a big dinner with the whole family and everybody dresses up in clothes they hate. But even then, it’s not the event, it’s what happens around that time, you know? Growing up in Montreal around Christmas time, or Chanukah time... I have some really fond memories.”

At that he looked up to see Neesha starring down solemnly at her hot chocolate again. “Did you decorate palm trees,” he asked out of the blue.

“What?”

“You know, palm trees instead of pine trees… since you don’t get snow and stuff.”

Neesha started to laugh in spite of herself and smiled back at Mathew. “No, we had a Christmas tree,” she laughed, “an artificial one that my sisters and I loved putting together. And we sang every Christmas Song even if we’ve never seen a snowflake. My mother would freak-out if she ever saw one; she hated the cold.” Here she paused for a bit. “My father died when I was little, it was an accident at work. I remember it being cold that Christmas, never cold enough for snow but my mother walked around in a shawl the whole time. I remember thinking that I’d never feel warmth in the house again at Christmas.”

She paused once more but Mathew didn’t speak. He knew that she had to continue; she had to say this. “And then she met my father; my step father I mean. I didn’t know what to expect that first Christmas. He woke up early and made the best escoveish and he sang the whole time. He sang and made my mother drop her shawl while they danced. I remember my sister learning to dance around the Christmas tree with him before she could even walk.” She recounted all of this with a smile on her face but tears began to well up in eyes. “I haven’t seen them in five years. This will be my first Christmas completely alone. When I was in college and had my auntie but their going to the States this year.” Her voice trailed off and it looked like she was going to cry in earnest.

“Show me how your father made you dance.”

“...You must be joking,” but by now she knew Mathew always meant what she said. “We don’t have the right music.”

“I’ll start us off… Rocking around the... Christmas Palm Tree… at the Christmas Ragae Hop!” He began to dance badly and pull her up out of her chair.

“Oh my Lord…yuh nuh stohp afore yuh brek ya-self. You need to start with a soka beat... You know, something like, boom cha-boom-boom, boom cha-boom-boom…”

Mathew thought of the Fine Young Cannibals, and started a beat. Neesha started to sing. If Mathew thought her voice was beautiful before, it sounded heavenly now.

“I’m… dreaming…of a white…Christmas…” It was gentle yet vibrant and effortless. The way she danced was difficult to explain. She moved with music that only she could hear but as Mathew stood there watching he could swear he could hear it too. Every part of her body was moving as if they were weightless and held up by the music itself.

“Oh, no! You don’t get off that easy. Come here.Com he-yah!” She grabbed his arms and the rhythm seemed to magically flow into him. “Joy to the world… the Lord has come…” Nisha tried to do a spin in the small living room and bumped into the foot stool that held Mathew’s hot chocolate. There was a scramble by the both of them to stop it. They only succeeded in bumping heads and tumbling to the floor along side the spilt milk in front of the fire. They laughed and rubbed their foreheads.

“I’m so sorry, about the carpet! Oooohh,” Nisha groaned.

“It’s okay,” he laughed trying to drag her legs out from under her.

“And thank you.”

“For what,” he paused.

“For everything. For making me laugh and feel better. You do that every time I see you…” they starred into each others eyes. Who moved first neither was really sure. They both moved closer and kissed for the first time. Mathew lay back as Neesha laid down atop of him. They stayed like that just pressing against each other. Their kiss grew in passion until the two were gasping for air, their eyes closed tight in the dime light of the fire.

“Neesha, I…” he began to ask but she answered with another kiss and she began to pull his t-shirt up. They gasped for air as Mathew pulled his shirt off but then she was back kissing him passionately and running her hands hungrily over his lean smooth body. Mathew’s hands reached under the loose sweater she wore and found her buds erect and longing to be touched. Neesha moaned into his mouth. This felt so good. She slid her hand into his jogging pants and whimpered when she felt his solid shaft. Now she paused, broke off the kiss and rose up in front of him. Mathew lay there puzzled but then saw that same pleading look in her eyes. She had to do this. She wanted to. Slowly she stepped out of her underwear. She brought her hands to the hem of her sweater and began to raise it slowly until it was over her head.

She knelt between Mathew’s legs placing her hands at his waistband. He put his hands on hers and helped Neesha pull them off. They held each other, slowly pressing and sliding their bodies against each other. Neesha loved the sight and feel of her soft dark skin against his smooth white skin. They slid their hands over each other until they knew each other by touch alone. They kissed and moaned and sighed until they could take it no longer. She caressed his firm length and held it at her entrance. The tip of his head became wet with her inner lips surrounding it. Her hand holding it began to shake. Her brow furrowed and her eyes began to water but then she looked down at Mathew and into her eyes.

They both gasped and then sighed in unison. Like hand in glove he pushed into her. As they connected they both felt a tingle of pleasure start at the centre of their sex and begin to spread throughout their bodies. After a time Neesha couldn’t move her hips up and down on Mathew any more. Her vaginal walls were beyond her control and began to contract around his rod. Mathew felt it too. She closed her eyes closed tight as she pressed her chest against his. The contractions became waves up and down his shaft. They ground their genitals together as their orgasms built closer. Their every breath was a gasp. Neesha’s vagina began to squeeze faster and faster and she was determined to see this through to the end. She began to cry out but her arms held tightly onto him. Mathew’s groans became louder and he hugged her closer. Their bodies intertwined. They yelled in unison. Faster and faster and closer and closer until the two bodies began to spasm and thrust until they exploded. Then they were motionless.

The silence of their breathing lasted for a long time before it was interrupted by the sounds of Neesha weeping.

She began to cry uncontrollably on Mathew’s shoulder. He continued to hold her while gently rubbing her back and cooing “Shhh…shhhh…it’s alright….it’s okay” every now and then. The room was silent accept for her sniffles and sobs. After a time the crying stopped and she regained her composure.

“I have to go,” she said calmly.

“What?”

“I have to…”

“I know what you said... Why?” She didn’t answer his question. She didn’t look him in the eye. She stood up and Mathew finally slid out of her. She began to put on her clothes. Mathew slid on his sweat pants. “I just don’t understand. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you or something?”

“No, it’s nothing like that, it’s just… just…”

“What?” Mathew asked again but more tears began to well up in her eyes as she headed to the door and put on her boots. He had to ask the question.“…Is it because I’m…”

“NO!” she exclaimed as the tears began to pour out. But silently to herself, she thought, “Yes, it is because of that…” She began to open the door.

“Wait,” he pleaded as he frantically jotted down his cell number and paced it in her shacking hand. “I’ll go down stairs and flag a cab with you.” Moments later he was shivering in his leather jacket, sweat pants and his boots that he didn’t have time to lace up. A cab pulled up and Mathew held the door as she slid in. He handed some twenties to the driver. When Neesha finally looked up, Mathew could see her faced was contorted in anguish.

***

The Saturday of December 20th was the first day of Chanukah. Morning came and went while Neesha still lay in bed. Sometime around noon she dragged herself out of bed and into the washroom. She didn’t even feel the water on her skin. Around two in the afternoon, she realised how hungry she was. While in the subway she changed her mind and lost her appetite for West Indian Food. She settled for some Tim Horton’s soup and coffee.

She walked around the streets after that for quite some time and it was dark before she realised where she was. Mathew was right when he said that the paintings in the galleries were beautiful. She passed window after window of incredibly works by local artist. Each one was unique and beautiful. There were paintings in one, sculptures in the next and photos in the one after that. Even the lighted trees along Queen Street west looked beautiful that night. She felt beautiful when she was around Mathew.

She could remember in art class the feeling she had that her work would never be good compared to the beautiful artist in her class. She felt ugly compared to the perfect models that she drew. She became worried with each new painting that the perspective wouldn’t come out right and sure enough it didn’t. After failed interviews she settled for a job behind a computer.

She missed her family who encouraged her to make something out of her beautiful talents. They paid for her to attend a great art school. But she was the one who got in with those talents. Her first drawings were that of her beautiful family who inspired her. Her first paintings were of the rich landscapes where she felt she belonged. And now when she was with Mathew, she felt that she could paint the whole world. Everything was beautiful when she was with him. She felt beautiful around him because he thought she was beautiful. Even the depressed looking tall, wavy, brown-haired-man who starred at his feet while walking straight towards her, looked beautiful to Neesha…

“Oops! I’m sorry ma’am, I wasn’t looking…” But he was looking up now into two beautiful brown teary eyes that smiled at him. “I’m sorry,” said Mathew. “I just sometimes come up here to think.”

“It’s Okay,” smiled Neesha as she put her arm around his and pulled him along. “I came up here to think too. Do you want to think and look at some galleries together?”

“Sure,” he smiled.

“Mathew…” she whispered.

“…Yes Neesha,”

“What are your plans for the rest of Chanukah this year?”

***