Always

It felt like I'd been sleeping for a year. I stretched and moaned a little at the comfort of my bed. Then I looked at the clock. Uh oh, seven already, if I didn't hurry I was going to be late.

I'd only meant to take a short nap. Just a pick me up so I'd be fresh and alert for the evening's entertainment. But I'd ended up sleeping for two hours. I wondered if Max was home yet? I listened but the house seemed quiet, empty. Still, I thought, he's probably here, staring at that damn computer. He knew better than to be late tonight. I'd made it very clear how important this was to me.

It wasn't just that it was my birthday. Yes, I was born on October 31^st, Halloween, kind of nice don't you think? Well I've always thought so anyway. When I was a kid I used to think that all the candy the neighbors gave out was in my honor, and I used to feel sorry for all my friends because nobody did the same thing for them. Even later, I loved it because the day was always so much fun for everyone. And who else but a Halloween baby gets to dress up and pretend they're anything they want to be to celebrate the day they were born?

And speaking of, I though, I'd better get a move on. I went over to the closet and looked in. Funny, I didn't see this year's costume. I'd planned it, as usual, for months. I'd finally decided on an "I dream of Genie" kind of number, sheer and sexy. Hey, my body was good enough for it, and I'd worked hard at keeping that way, especially since Caitlin had been born. No way did I want to end up like half the other mothers at the day care with 30 extra pounds and the frumpiness that came with the added weight. I may be a mommy, but I was a darn good looking one. The look in Max's eyes when he watched me when he thought I wasn't paying attention was proof of that. So tonight's costume was as much a present for him as it was an opportunity for me to show off. But where in the heck was it?

I looked down and gasped. God, I was already wearing it! Sheesh, Marty, I told myself, you're losing it big time if you can't even remember getting dressed. But even as I thought that, the memory came back, slipping the sheer soft pants over my freshly shaven and creamed legs and the struggle I'd had with the stiff beaded bra. It almost didn't fit and my breasts threatened to spill over the top. I went over to check myself out in the mirror. Yes, very nice, very sexy. I pirouetted and then winced as the tight top grabbed at my skin. How had I managed to sleep in this thing? I wondered.

But there was no time to think about that. I looked closer in the mirror and was glad to see that the exotic make up I'd decided to use had survived my nap. Even my ponytail, an exact replica of Genie's, had managed to make it through without any damage. I wondered again if I should have gone the whole way and dyed my hair blonde like Barbara Eden's had been in the TV show. No, I liked my dark auburn tresses, so did Max. One night of accuracy wasn't worth the aggravation of growing it back. And besides, my hairdresser had told me it's a pain to dye naturally red hair, and even more difficult to restore once you started to fool with it.

I went over to the bed and slipped on the little beaded flats that were lying where I'd kicked them off. They fit so well, like they'd been made for me. I'd found them in a little antique shop about three months ago and it had been love at first sight. In fact they were the entire reason for the costume. They'd been expensive little suckers and I'd had to justify their cost somehow. So after thinking about it for a while, and discarding a couple of other ideas like a Chinese wedding outfit, I'd decided on Genie.

I still hadn't heard anything in the house to tell me I wasn't alone. It was time to find out if Max was there. If he wasn't I didn't know what I was going to do. I bit my lip. I loved my husband, but even an optimist like me couldn't pretend that things between weren't all that good right now. It was his job. I wanted him to be a success, make money, earn the respect of his peers, I really did, but it was like he was obsessed lately. Most nights he didn't make it home for dinner or even in time to say goodnight to Caitlin, and when he was here, he was tired and preoccupied. I knew he still loved me, but I also knew he was drifting away, caught up in real estate and development deals — searching for the big break.

His picture was on my dresser and I went to it and picked it up. Dear, sweet, funny Max, I stroked his handsome face. When had you decided that the only way you could show your love for me and our daughter was by making a fortune before you were thirty? So maybe he'd be able to buy us a palace. What good would that be, if we had to live in it without his company? I didn't want a palace; I wanted a husband I could curl up next to on the couch, and father who was there for our daughter. Tonight, I promised, myself, I was going to tell him that.

I looked at the clock again, 7:15. God, we had to be there at 8:00! I hurried out of the room and then stopped as I passed Caitlin's room. I knew she wasn't there, my sister had picked her up right after lunch, but it was habit to check the room and I did it without thinking.

It looked perfect, almost pristine, like a busy 3 year old didn't live there at all. I shivered. Someone is walking over my grave, I thought then changed my mind. No, you just miss her already. God, Marty, you are such a sap. I remember as a teenager making fun of all those moms who cooed over their precious darlings and thought I would never be that way. Then I'd met Max in college and we'd fallen in love, married and two years later I was lying in a hospital bed and for the first time I was holding my daughter. Then I knew what all those mothers had been feeling.

Enough of this, I shook my head. Lord, I was in a strange mood tonight. I almost felt like I was still dreaming. Shake it off, I told myself as I bounced down the stairs. But it was easier said then done. Even the house felt different to me, almost foreign, the way it does when you've been gone on a two week vacation, like you didn't fit in it somehow, like you were taking up different space.

The light was on over the front door. It was already dark outside. I peeked through the curtain as a Pikachu, a Spiderman and a princess ran giggling up and dipped into the big plastic pumpkin half full of candy. I watched as each of them carefully took a small handful and dumped it into their baskets. Nice kids, I thought, not greedy. I followed them with my eyes as they ran back to shelter of their protective parents who waited on the sidewalk.

I hope Caitlin is enjoying herself, I thought, then stopped myself before I could get maudlin about missing this time with her. She was fine, I knew that, and she was probably having more fun being dragged around by her bigger boy cousins than she would have had with me. Still…

I tried to put those thoughts out of my mind as I walked into Max's cubbyhole we laughingly called the den. It was so small the only furniture that fit in it was a love seat and his computer desk and chair and even then you had to kind of slide into the room. I figured if he was anywhere in the house though this was the place. Seemed it was the only space in the house that he spent anytime in, sometimes even sleeping on that little sofa because he knew I'd give him hell for working at home if he crawled into bed at 3AM. So now, I expected to find him once again at his desk and I was fully prepared to have to drag him away from some scheme he was working on.

But he wasn't at his desk. Like me, he must have decided to take a nap because he was curled up on the little sofa, his 6'2" frame making a joke of that piece of furniture. How he ever managed to fit all of himself on it was anybody's guess. I was just about to shake him awake when I got a good look at his face.

God he looked tired! And sad, and discouraged. I bit my lip in an effort to hold back the tears that flooded my eyes. The need to hold him, to comfort him was almost overwhelming. Tonight, the word came into my head again and I was suddenly fierce in my determination, tonight I'm going to fix this. I wasn't sure how exactly, but I knew that the time had arrived, and if I didn't do something now we'd never have the chance again.

Max opened his eyes, blinked, then opened them again. "Am I dreaming?" He whispered.

I forced myself to laugh, to be the happy girl he'd loved again. "Nope," I knelt before him. "Tonight, I'm your genie, and I'm here to make all your wishes come true."

He looked at me as if he'd never seen me before. "Then you've already accomplished your mission."

I leaned over and kissed him and he looked startled. Had it been that long, I thought sadly. Had so much time passed since we'd really just been nice with each other?

"Ah, but I'm sure we can still think of something," I winked. "Something you really want, that you don't have."

Tentatively he reached out and stroked my arm. His fingers felt warm and alive and a little thrill ran up my spine at his touch.

"Is this really you?" He asked softly.

The remark stung me. I mean I knew we'd been having our problems, but I hadn't turned into a complete bitch. At least, I didn't think I had.

He saw the look on my face. "I'm sorry. I should just be happy, shouldn't I? Enjoy the moment."

I nodded. "This moment," I leaned down and kissed his lips lightly. "And the next." Another kiss. "And the next, for as long as we can make this last."

"I wish that could be forever," he said almost sadly.

I was surprised at the resigned tone. "Well sweetie we can make it last forever," and I smiled as I softly stroked his cheek.

He struggled then to sit up, and when he finished he pulled me onto his lap. His movements though were hesitant, almost as if he were afraid of what my reaction would be. For my part, I just went along and cuddled into his broad, strong chest that even sitting at a desk for 12 hours a day hadn't ruined.

We stayed like that for about 10 minutes, not even talking, just enjoying the feel of being in each other's arms. I could have spent the night that way, but we had obligations.

"We should get going," I murmured half-heartedly. "You need to change into your costume too, Sir Galahad."

"What?"

I sat up and looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Sean and Emily's party? We're supposed to be there already. How's it going to look if the guest of honor is late?"

"Huh, what are you talking about?" He had the nerve to look shocked.

I started to feel little flames of anger lick at my insides. Not now, I told myself, you promised yourself tonight was going to be different. Just take it slow.

"Okay," I sighed. "I know I'm not supposed to know, but this is my surprise birthday party isn't it? I mean, I was at the bakery this morning and I saw this cake sitting in the case. It was iced in black and said Happy 27^th Birthday To Our Very Own Halloween Witch, even the candles looked like little brooms. I thought it was very cute and then when I was getting in my car I noticed Emily go into the shop. I was curious so I waited. She came out carrying a box and it was just the same size as the cake and…"

I looked at Max who was just staring at me with his mouth open. A dull flush rose in his face and I suddenly felt very foolish.

"Oh damn! I'm wrong aren't I?"

Now that I thought of it, of course I was. Max wasn't the kind to think about surprise parties, and Emily and Sean, though our best friends, would hardly do something like that on their own. It was my turn to blush.

"Well," I said in a much more subdued voice. "We still promised we'd go."

Max finally spoke. "But the party was…" He trailed off and swallowed hard. "The party was cancelled."

"You're kidding me?" I cocked my head in surprise. "Sean told you that at work, eh?"

He nodded silently. "Um well…"

I interrupted. "I wonder why Emily didn't call to let me know. Is one of the kids sick?"

"No… I mean I don't know."

I sighed. "Oh well, no big deal. Except if I'd known I wouldn't have pawned Caitlin off on Janet that way. I really wanted to take her out for candy this year myself, seeing as it's probably the first time she's really going to understand it."

"Caitlin…"

I stopped him again. "I know, Caitlin is fine. And Janet is probably in hog heaven. Sometimes I think she'd steal her from us if she could. You know what she says, after three boys, having a daughter would be heaven." I cuddled back into Max, he felt so good. I'd really missed this. "It's just that I don't want to give away all those memories, I want to be around for everything for Caitlin. All the Halloween's and Christmas's. The first time she rides a big girl's bike and the dates to the prom. I don't want to miss any of it." I looked up at him. "And I don't want you to miss them either."

"Oh god!" The words sounded like they were torn out of Max's throat and he choked on the second word. As I watched with growing alarm I saw tears fall out of his eyes and onto his cheeks.

I curled myself around him in a flash. "Oh baby, baby what is it? What's wrong?"

His arms wrapped around me and held me so tightly I could barely breathe. "I think I must be losing my mind."

"No my love," I argued gently. "You've just been working so hard, maybe you lost track of what's really important to you. You need to rest, think about things, get it all back into perspective."

Slowly he relaxed his grip and the shaking I felt in his arms and chest started to subside. "Maybe your right," he finally agreed. "I have been throwing myself into it lately, escaping."

I sat back. "You have nothing to escape from."

He smiled and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "You have no idea do you?"

"I know you've been unhappy," I disagreed. "I know you've been trying to ignore it, running away from the problem instead of facing it. I can feel it you know. Feel it in my heart." I pointed to my chest. "That's why I'm here for you now. That's why I'll always be here for you."

"You promise?" It was good to see his smile again.

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

Max shook his head and drew me to him and kissed me like it was the first time. Well no, that's not accurate. Our first time had been a shy little kiss, a quickie in line at the hot dog stand on Seventh Ave after the big game of the century where our school had gotten their butts kicked. This wasn't a kiss like that. This was a full-blown, no hold barred kind of kiss, almost desperate in it's passion. An, I want to have sex right now, kind of kiss, full of tongue and spit and soft lips pressed hard against each other.

"Wow!" Was all he could manage when we were done.

I laughed breathlessly. "So "Master", are you ready to have your genie, grant you a wish?"

He didn't say a word, just stood and still holding me made his way to our bedroom. He kissed me again, hard and fast, and deposited me on the bed. He stripped quickly and then did the same to me only slowly, slowly taking time to touch and fondle and worship with his lips. By the time he was done, my skin was on fire and my nipples stood hard and aching. My legs sprawled wantonly open, inviting him into my already glistening pussy. It was all I could do not to thrust up in a lewd display of my need. And then I figured, why the hell not? and did it anyway.

Max was on his knees, towering over me on the bed. His cock was like red hot rock as it jutted out over my belly. As I watched, it twitched and belched, and a fine shinny stream of precum oozed out of his slit and dangled, defying gravity until it fell in a long syrupy line to my skin connecting us. I watched fascinated as it gleamed in the moonlight, and then, possessed with a desire I'd forgotten I could feel, moved my hand to break the strand with my finger. The end fell to a puddle by my navel and I scooped it up and brought it to my mouth where I greedily licked at the sticky proof of my lover's eagerness to bed me.

Max groaned. "If this is a dream, then I never want to wake up," he whispered, almost to himself.

I opened my arms. "Not a dream. A miracle maybe, the way we love each other, but never a dream."

He came to me then, all hard angles and planes that somehow matched my softness perfectly. We writhed and gasped and touched each other like we couldn't get enough, could never get enough. We tried to make it last, string it out, torture ourselves with the ecstasy of need, but it had been too long and when I spread my legs again he was ready and there, his hot manhood already taking what I was more than willing to give. He plunged in, making me arch and throw my head back as he filled me more and more until I didn't think I could take another millimeter of pleasure.

He stopped to give me time. But time was running out and we both knew it. I squeezed my muscles around him to give him our old signal, and with a moan he started the age-old moves. I moved with him thrusting up to meet him, accepting him, opening to him — to us — to all that had meant, to all that it was right now. There was something, something important and with each push of his hips, each glide of his steely cock in my soft wetness, it grew. I tried to forget it and push it back, keep it at bay so that I'd never have to deal with it. But just as my nipples swelled under the lips and tongue of my lover, the thought that something was different, that I was different grew.

And then I remembered. That last Halloween, when I dressed in a genie costume and waited for my always-working husband to come home to me. The hours going by and still no word, the growing resentment that turned to anger. The final decision to go to the party, my not very surprising birthday party, that friends, and not the man I'd loved, had planned for me. I saw me grabbing keys and a coat and heard again the ringing of the phone in the distance as I slammed out of the driveway. All these things came back to me in a rush as his cock entered and retreated, filling me, making me moan, making me remember.

I hadn't seen the kids, all dressed in their costumes, until it was too late. I'd swung the wheel hard and by the grace of God I'd managed to miss them, though I thought in that moment I'd remember their shocked and scared faces for the rest of my life… And beyond it now seemed

"So good," he gasped as he pounded harder and harder. "Oh God, so good!"

Deep in my belly I felt the fluttering, the tensing of muscles as I sped towards my climax. I twisted my head back and forth, back and forth until Max's strong hands caught it and held it still so his mouth could come down and anchor me. I sucked eagerly on his tongue, tasting him, pulling him inside my mouth much as my pussy was doing with his cock. I was losing control.

I lost control. My RV, never that stable at the best of times, flipped over and over until it slid on its side, inexorably moving in a straight line towards the intersection where the 18 wheeler was attempting a left hand turn. I never felt the crash, never heard the screams or the sirens or saw the looks on the rescuers as they dragged out my already lifeless body. I don't remember any of that. No, my next memory came days later at a gravesite where a lone man stands in front of a hole and sobs. I remember walking up to him and trying to take his hand, but my fingers couldn't grasp it and so I tried to speak, to comfort him. And then I saw it was Max.

He was losing his rhythm now. It wouldn't be long. I struggled to hold out, to put off my own climax. We had never been able to come together, we weren't in sync that way. Our timing was off, we couldn't communicate those feelings with each other. I swore tonight would be different.