The Queen of Shangri-La

I laughed and said watch this. I picked up a likely piece of driftwood and one of his little rocks, tossed it up and swatted it out into the river. He made a series of whistling and clicking noises that sounded like the Dani equivalent of, "Holy shit!!!"

I gestured, "You try it." He took the little driftwood log, tossed another rock, and nearly swung himself off the bluff and into the river.

I said, "No," took the little log back and carefully and deliberately showed him each step of the toss and swing. The kid was intently watching every move I made.

The boy might have been alien looking to my Western eyes. But he was really a very intelligent little fellow. I handed the makeshift bat back to him. He picked up a stone and swatted it into the upper deck. His face split into the widest grin. The look of joy was like every other kid who had mastered a new trick.

I said, "Baseball." He repeated, with a look of adoration in his eyes, "Bees-bl." When I left, he was swatting rocks into the river rather than chucking them at Maggie.

The next day's airdrop had a ball, a couple of gloves and a Louisville slugger in it. I sauntered into the village looking for my little friend. He was with his buddy digging up grubs. Apparently, it was lunch time. As soon as he saw me approach, he started shouting "Bees-bl." I motioned for him and his pal to join me in the meadow by the river and they trooped along with me.

The glove was a new concept. I put it on and motioned for him to throw the ball to me. He tossed it like he had done when he was throwing a rock at Maggie. I caught it in the glove and tossed it back to him. Of course, he missed it. I gestured for him to throw it to me again and he did. I caught it, but this time I walked over and showed him how to put on the glove.

I stood back and tossed the ball to him. He snatched it out of the air with the glove. His friend made a whistling and clicking noise that must've been applause. I gestured for his buddy to come over and showed him how to put on the other glove. Then I tossed the ball back to my little friend. I made a gesture for him to throw it to his pal, not me. He tossed the ball, and his friend caught it in the glove.

I spent the afternoon hitting balls for them to chase and catch. Then I let my first little pal do the hitting, while I helped field. Their delighted laughter was like any other kid's playing with a new toy. There was probably never going to be a Baliem Valley Cannibals baseball team. But Shangri-La had a new pastime.

The upshot was that I had a devoted best friend. I called him Spanky, like the kid from Our Gang. The little guy hung around me constantly. I even remember waking one night with something really smelly in the tent. I turned on the Coleman to discover my little pal sleeping contentedly at my feet.

My relationship with Spanky challenged a lot of society's ingrained prejudices. He might be from the stone age. But Spanky was as clear eyed, eager, and downright playful as any of my cousin's kids. Which goes to show you that people are people, no matter what era they're from.

Spanky and I hung out a lot. He would show me things about his culture, which were in perfect harmony with the environment of the Baliem Valley. He even taught me how to shoot the Dani's little bow. The Dani lived off their ability to use it. I certainly couldn't. We also played catch. Spanky couldn't get enough of the simple companionship of throwing the ball back and forth on a sunny day in Shangri-La.

Meanwhile the queen had taken a shine to Maggie. The Dani had the stone age equivalent of a King and a Queen, and their hut was comparable to Buckingham palace. So, once in a while the Queen would invite Maggie over for hot sweet potatoes. It wasn't high tea and finger sandwiches. But the concept was the same.

Maggie told me that - from an American point of view -- the only thing lacking from the afternoons she spent with the Queen was a front porch and some rocking chairs. In fact, the Queen was so attuned to Maggie that she hissed at me when I teased Maggie about her "Royal" connections, even though the Queen didn't understand a word of English.

Naturally, the Queen's husband fell head over heels in love with Maggie. So, one day he started brushing her hair. Of course, Mags didn't realize that that act amounted to the King's declaration that she was his new wife. More pertinently, the old wife saw it as the Dani equivalent of catching the King with Maggie bent over the arm of a sofa. So understandably, she flew into a violent rage.

I was standing nearby, like I always was when Maggie ventured among the Dani, and I heard squawks and commotion centered around Maggie's voice. I rushed over to find that several of the Dani women were in the process of trying to cut the tips off of Maggie's fingers. In fact, that wasn't as bizarre as it seems. Because it was a common form of mourning among Dani women.

I arrived on the scene breathing fire and everything stopped. I mean, seriously... I was twice anybody's size and two feet taller. I said angrily, "What the fuck are you doing!" They didn't understand English, but they knew what anger looked like. They immediately released Maggie, grunting, and clicking like the whole group was saying, "What got up his ass?"

Maggie rushed to my side, looking frightened. My spirited little friend might be adamant about self-reliance. And there are times when a woman doesn't need a man's help. But there are also times when she DOES. THIS was one of THOSE times.

I pointed to Maggie. Then I pointed to me and said, "This is my woman." I made a striking motion and added, "If you harm her, you will have to fight me." The group stepped back a few more paces, making awestruck noises. Maybe the stone age wasn't a half-bad place to be if you're as big as I was?

Maggie began to splutter behind me. I told her, "Shut your yap, Squirt. I'm making a point." Then I turned to the group and said, "This woman is under my protection. So, you will not touch her!!"

The group didn't know what I'd said but they got the point. There was a new Queen in town. Maggie, who'd understood every word I'd said, looked at me oddly. We walked back to our camp together. I said teasingly, "Maybe you should spend a little less time with the Dani -- your Highness."

Maggie snapped back angrily, "Your woman huh??!" How did I know she was going to say that? Then she added under her breath, "Maybe that wouldn't be so bad." That was an odd thing to say.

*****

The next day's flight brought the usual crates. But the C-47 circled back, and four parachutes blossomed. Maggie and I walked down to the river to meet the new additions, her gangrene was getting slightly better thanks to the sulfa. But it was still a serious concern that she might lose one of her shapely legs because of it.

The four men were gathering their chutes as we approached. Two looked like Filipinos. The leader of the group was an American with a silver bar on his collar. I saluted and said, "Staff Sergeant, Handschuh, Sir. 39th Troop Carrier Squadron" I gestured toward Maggie who limped up behind me and added, "Corporal Margaret Hastings, Women's Army Corps. We're two of the three survivors of the crash."

The guy looked at me. Then he looked at Maggie and I thought his eyes were going to fall out of his head. He returned my salute and said, "Captain Earl Walter... 1st Filipino Airborne. We're here to get you out."

Then he turned to Maggie and said, "So this is the famous adventure girl." Maggie and I were stunned. What the fuck was he talking about!?

Then a guy who was clearly a civilian sauntered up. He shook my hand, turned to Maggie, and said briskly, "Alex Cann... Let me explain what I'm here to do."

It turned out that Cann was a journalist, and he'd parachuted in with a camera to get the scoop. Word had leaked out about the crash, and we were famous. That was news to both of us. Since our accident had been nothing but a junket.

However, it was embarrassing to the Army. So, its PR minions had to fabricate a story that would be more palatable to the American public. Thus, to properly spin it, they focused on the brave little WAC, with the "clear, firm voice." And the story of Maggie Hastings, the "Adventure Girl" gripped America.

The Dani treated the four new arrivals in the same fashion as they had treated us. It was like the white people were putting on a special show to entertain them. Large groups of curious Dani hung around the fringes jabbering, while we set up tents and a field hospital to treat Maggie and Decker. The two of them had to be able to walk long distances in order for us to be able to move to the next stage of the rescue.

The sulfa I'd been spreading on Maggie's sores had done wonders with the gangrene and she was on the road to recovery. Decker was another matter. His head wound was to the bone and his burns were serious. So, it would take a little more time to get him back in shape.

Accordingly, we set up a tent village next door to the Dani. There was our tent. And then, there were three new ones. Walter had his own little one. The medics and Cann were in a big one like ours, and there was the fully stocked medical tent. The trouble began when the Filipinos began to set up a fifth tent.

Army PR didn't want anybody back home thinking that their alluring little WAC was sleeping in the same tent as Decker and me. I mean, what would the American people say if they found out the Adventure Girl was saying nightie-night to a couple of grotty male enlistees. So, the Filipinos were establishing a private tent to preserve Maggie's dubious virtue.

That set off a major screaming match. The three of us had been through hell together and Maggie would sleep with her comrades -- period... No compromise! Her adamant insistence was a new feature. Maggie Hastings was loyal to a fault. Maggie won the round by angrily stomping off.

I was concerned that Maggie was disobeying orders. Walter was a Captain, she was a corporal, and we were still in the Army. So, I sidled up to the captain, just to ensure that there would be no blowback. He was staring fascinated at Maggie's beautiful round butt as she disappeared in the direction of her river pool. She was obviously going for a swim.

I said calmingly, "She'll get with the program when she gets back to civilization." He turned to me, and I recognized the look. He'd fallen under Maggie's spell. He said awestruck, "What a magnificent woman."

I didn't think much about that statement until the romance commenced. And of course, Maggie didn't discourage Walter either. Now Maggie spent her evenings in Walter's tent drinking beer. Of course, that ended our intimate evenings together - since I wasn't invited. I could hear her laughter as they both talked, and it made me jealous.

I didn't blame either of them. It wasn't like Maggie was my girl. In fact, she'd made it plain that she was nobody's girl. And Maggie didn't appear to be doing anything sexual with Walter. She was just hanging out with the new guy. So, I wasn't upset with her in any man-woman relationship sort of fashion. I just plain missed her.

After the crash, our circumstances had gone from dire, to desperate to living comfortably among the Dani - and we'd done it together. It had been Maggie and me against the world. But then again, that wasn't reality. Now, we were back to the way things were before our special moment out of time. It gave me an empty feeling, as if my future had evaporated.

There was an officer on the ground, now. So, Army discipline applied, and we enlisted were expected to toe the line - which we did in the form of following normal Army protocol. Only Decker was excluded... mainly because he was flat on his back in the medical tent.

Walter won the argument about living quarters too... by ordering ME into the tent with the medics and Cann. That left Maggie in our old tent by herself. The tent I was crowded into was uncomfortable. But the upside was that it let me strike up a friendship with Cann. That was when I discovered that truth is malleable. Which kinda indicates how clueless I actually was.

Apparently, all three of us survivors were famous back home. That's the reason why Cann had parachuted in. He told me that the Army knew how embarrassing the real circumstances of the crash were. So, they called our joyride to Shangri-La, "navigation training," which was an outright lie.

So, in the news releases... the Dani went from being "headhunters" to "very happy people," It was disillusioning. Cann added, "In fact, the Army said that the Dani were so friendly that they had made Maggie "Queen of Shangri-La."

I said offhandedly, "They actually did."

Cann said astounded, "Wait! What!!?" I said, "The King brushed her hair. Apparently, that makes her Queen." Then I went on to describe the incident. Cann was frantically scribbling in a notebook.

After Cann was finished, he sat back with a twinkle in his eye and said, "The Army bent over backward to assure the American people that there was no hanky-panky going on up here. But Maggie's a bombshell. So, was there?"

I laughed out loud and said, "Get real!! Maggie Hastings is the strongest and bravest companion a guy could ever ask for. A beauty like Maggie is way out of this boy's league. In fact, she's out of most fellas' league, except for maybe a movie star. Plus, she was toughing out serious burns on her legs. So, what do you think happened?"

Cann looked disappointed. Then, he said, "I guess it doesn't matter, the Army sanitized it for back home anyhow. They dug up a Staff Sergeant Maggie was dating before the crash who claimed to be her fiancé. Most of us thought that story was baloney. But who cares. They even interviewed your girl, Patsy. Just to reassure everybody that nothing was happening between you and Corporal Hastings."

I said," WHAT!!??"

Cann went on, like he hadn't dropped the world's biggest and most horrible bomb on me, "You know... Patsy, your girl in Wisconsin, the one you're going to marry when you get back."

I was so totally flabbergasted that I could only croak, "What did she say?"

Cann said, "I read about it in the Reader's Digest. Patsy said that she is happy and waiting for your return. In the meantime, she's taking care of the baby boy that her mother just had." Cann laughed and added, "It ought to give her good training for when you two start having babies of your own."

I jumped to my feet and shot out of the tent, leaving Cann sitting there speechless. I was praying that what Cann had just told me was a concoction of the Army PR machine. If it wasn't, it explained everything. Remember... I hadn't gotten the letter from my mom yet. So, I didn't know why Patsy had sent me the Dear John. Cann's news about the baby made me feel like I was being electrocuted.

I had to go somewhere I could wrestle my emotions back under control. Hence, I was sitting on my usual rock near Maggie's pool when she sat down next to me. She said curiously, "What was that all about? Why did you go bolting out of your tent?" Was Maggie keeping track of me?

I said, "Do you know that our love life is a subject of great interest to all of America?"

Maggie laughed loudly, slapped her knee, and said, "They couldn't get mine past the censors."

I said, "They interviewed a Staff Sergeant named Wally who you are supposed to be engaged to and even worse, they interviewed my Patsy, and she clearly has a baby. The article said it was her mother's but her mom's fifty-one and her husband's been dead for years."

Maggie's tanned face had turned almost purple as she spluttered, "That asshole told them that I was his fiancé!! I'll KILL him!! We've gone out a couple of times and we had a date lined up for a midnight swim after the flight. But that's all there ever was. I haven't even fucked him."

Given my current feelings about Maggie, I didn't need to know that. Then, the other thing that I'd said dawned on her and she put a hand on my arm in sympathy. It was the first time she had touched me in a friendly fashion. She said, "That changes things for you, doesn't it?"

I said, close to tears, "You're damn right! I was hoping that maybe Patsy would change her mind once I got back into town. But if she has a baby... there's nothing there for me now. I'm not raising somebody else's kid."

Maggie said, her voice loaded with irony, "Well that sure does blow up the, 'saving it for our wedding night' argument."

Then she saw how hurt I was and added encouragingly, "Buck up... there are a lot of fish in the sea and a good-looking guy like you won't have any trouble catching one. Especially after this adventure."

I said, "That's easy for you to say. You're the most attractive woman I've ever known."

She made a face and said, "I thought you considered yourself too good for a bad girl like me?"

I said, perhaps a bit too effusively, "God no!! You're the strongest, bravest, and most beautiful person I've ever known."

Maggie gave me a stare, like she thought I was an idiot. Then she abruptly stood, brushed herself off and walked away. She said back over her shoulder, "Maybe you ought to think about what you just said, Cowboy. And you had better be able to put your thoughts into action when you do."

*****

It was another two weeks before Decker and Maggie were healthy enough to trek down to the base camp, which was where the rescue was planned. The problem was that there wasn't enough room to land a plane where we were. So, the Army came up with an ingenious solution. They would snatch us out in a glider.

Gliders don't require nearly as much space to land as a powered plane. So, the idea was to bring a Waco CG-4A glider into a landing strip, which another group of Filipino paratroopers had hacked out of the jungle. Those guys were dropped further down the valley where the jungle was less dense and the surrounding peaks a little lower.

We'd sit in the glider while a low-flying C-47, with a dangling steel hook, snagged a big ring suspended twenty feet above the ground, which was attached to the glider's tow rope. The tow plane would be going 120 miles per hour and the glider would be airborne in sixty feet, while accelerating from zero to 120 miles per hour in seven seconds.

The concept had already been used to retrieve empty gliders. So, they knew it could be done. But the trick of snatching out humans was still in its experimental stage. We were going to be the guinea pigs for the first attempt. Great! The story of my life... What could possibly go wrong with THAT plan?

Thus, on the early morning of June 27th, forty-seven days after our crash, the seven of us began the hike to the snatch point. We had enlisted a group of Dani men to help us carry our gear.

Little Spanky had been hanging around with tears in his eyes during our preparation. He knew that he would never see me again. I got down on one knee, opened my arms. The smelly little guy ran into them for a big hug. I said, "Be well my dear little friend. I'll miss you."

He reached down at his feet and came up with a puppy. It was one of the wild dogs that the Dani keep. Spanky treated him like his pet, which was uncommon, since the Dani mostly use them for food. The fact that Spanky was nurturing a dog said a lot about his tender heart.

Then he handed him to me in that universal gesture of friendship. The last thing I needed was a puppy. I was about to trek ten miles. Then I was going to be snatched into the air by an untested system. But Spanky looked so sincere. The pup was his only possession and he wanted to give him to me as a gesture of his love. I couldn't say no. I reached out, took the squirmy little thing, and said sincerely, "Thank you."

Of course, I had to give him something in return... what to do? Then the idea hit me. My jackknife was advanced technology among the Dani, almost like a Martian ray gun. So, I reached in my pocket and produced the knife.