Therapeutic Sessions Ch. 02

J nodded. He seemed to have lost his voice. "You won't tell my ex or your mother about tonight. You tell anyone, and I find out, you die. You don't follow instructions, you die." I put the blade to his neck and applied light pressure. Rodney alerted me to another car pulling into the lot, and I quickly dismounted the slimeball.

The guys let go, and J turned towards me with venom in his eyes. "Go ahead bigshot," I got in his face. "I'll gut you right here. Nothing to lose, remember? Do as you're told and move on. Oh, yeah," I said as I turned away. "Stop fucking teenagers and other men's wives."

Of course, J's mother, Anna, had already offered to testify in divorce court if it would help me. I found that quite odd, going against her own kid, but I guess she felt he needed a jolt since his father was infirmed and bedridden.

I thought a lot about my plight that evening, after getting the kids from the babysitter and putting them to bed. I thought about the past few weeks and my rage. In elementary school, I was what most would call a 'sissy.' Often, I was picked on and hit by kids a grade or two below me. My dad was an abusive drunk, and he beat me too. But he always told me I better walk away from a fight. I never understood that. I was twelve when my mother finally divorced him, and I was moved from the Catholic school to a public one, within walking distance a few blocks from our home. I wasn't there for two weeks when one of the kids started pushing me at lunch, trying to bully me. For some reason, I'd just had enough. I told him we could settle up after school, and that's what we did to a crowd of about twenty boys and girls.

I was so damned angry. The guy was my size, but he'd obviously heard something through the rumor mill. He lasted all of about two minutes. After that, four or five other guys wanted a shot at the title, and then a few more the following year in junior high. I never lost any of those fights. That was a good thing. The bad thing was that I could hardly remember anything about them. It was like my mind went to some other place. When I became aware of my surroundings, my opponent was either on the ground or running.

That was something about myself that I wanted to work on with Allison. But I doubted we'd ever get there after she betrayed me the previous night at the beach. She and those other women really showed me their true colors after pretending to coddle me in the sessions, playing on my feelings, and acting like they felt bad for me.

My phone rang while I was listening to fireworks in the background. There was no caller ID in those days, so I simply answered it. I heard Linda's voice on the other end.

"Hello?" she said tentatively. "Dane?"

"Yeah, Linda. What do you want?" I asked with a long sigh for effect.

"I'm... I called to apologize," she said quietly. "I was a horrible bitch last night, although I didn't start out to be. But I was, nonetheless. I'm hoping you can forgive me, and we can still be friends. If you have your kids tomorrow, I was kinda hoping you might let me take you and them to the zoo, so I can start making up for what I did."

She sounded sincere, but my trust in almost everyone was shaken. I wasn't about to be played anymore.

"I don't know, Linda," I said cautiously. "They don't even know you. I'm not sure I do either."

"You do, Dane," she quickly replied. "I know you do, but I understand how you'd feel that way after my behavior last night. I just want to do something nice for you, so you can see that isn't the real me."

I was too tired to argue, or so I told myself. The truth was, the kids deserved a fun day with all the turmoil they'd been going through. I relented and Linda asked for my address so she could pick us up. I told her it would be easier to meet at her house since the car seats were already set up in my car. That quickly became another worry. My car was an old piece of shit Junker that badly needed repairs. I was suddenly embarrassed. Linda had seen me coming and going at Allison's office and she glossed over my plight.

"That works," she said. "I can still help you move the car seats into my car. I don't want you to spend any gas money when you're trying to take care of two small children."

The day was surprisingly cathartic. Linda and I focused most of our attention on my children but still found time to engage in plenty of adult talk. She was very good with kids, and when I told her so, she giggled and reminded me that she had a grown son and a daughter who was just leaving for college.

We talked about her husband's death. She told some things about her life that she hadn't shared in group therapy. As cloudy as the conversation was, we still found several instances to laugh.

After dinner, at Chuck E. Cheese, which she insisted on paying for, Linda turned to my kids.

"Do you like puppies?" she asked them excitedly. I knew immediately what she was doing, but didn't stop her right away, seeing the looks on the kids' faces.

Of course, both my daughter and son got super-excited. They looked at me. My son was barely talking and was worn out from the long day.

"It's kind of late," I said, giving Linda a look. "He's about to nod off." I pointed at my son.

"So?" she asked playfully. "We have to go to my house anyway to get your car. I have two Collie pups. Let them play until their eyes are droopy. I've got plenty of room. They'll even get a fresh-cooked breakfast in the morning."

There it was. That had been about the most blatant way of telling someone they wanted to have sex without actually saying it. Maybe it was her age, or maybe she was that good.

I found out about two hours later how good she was. Linda was... generous. I don't know any other words. I chalked it up to her experience, and maybe due to a long drought. She wanted a lot of kissing and touching before we got started. I didn't mind that. Much later in life I realized that she needed it to get her motor revved. And it was.

I'd never had someone swallow my entire cock - every bit of it. When she changed it up, she went lower with her tongue, and then lower still. I'd never experienced that, and I was glad she'd let me take a shower before we started.

The only complaint for me was her leathery skin. For a white woman, she could have easily passed for being black, or Latino. Many years of unabashed tanning were the reason. I pushed my thoughts aside and focused on our combined pleasure.

The first time was urgent - animalistic. Her hips were grinding like a person rubbing their itchy back against a door jamb. A few times during the frenzy, I felt way out of my league, but I stayed with it, riding her like a bronco buster.

After, she went downstairs and brought us a glass of wine and some water. Not ten minutes later we were at it again. That time it was tender and loving. She pulled me over on top of her and let me catch a rhythm missionary. But her enthusiasm took over again, and she rolled us back over until she was on top of me, both hands squarely on my chest as she controlled the action. The way she rolled her hips, and her muscle control grasping my cock like a glove, had me climaxing in short order. She came with me and collapsed onto me, breathing heavily. I remember thinking, 'I hope she doesn't have a heart attack!'

She wanted to cuddle and talk. I was wiped out, from the day, and the sex, but she seemed to need it. It struck me that it was probably something she did with her man, and maybe she also needed the familiarity. But I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I woke up to sunshine blaring through the bedroom window. Linda was there, stroking my hair gently. My first thought was worrisome. I hoped she wasn't falling in love or something. Then I panicked wondering if the kids were awake. She saw the distress.

"Don't worry," she said softly. "Your son is still asleep, and your daughter is watching the Little Mermaid. I understand it's her favorite."

My face relaxed. "Dane," she changed direction. "I can tell you love those kids to death. For a man, it's a very endearing quality. Don't ever lose that. You're doing right by them, and as they get older, they'll never forget it."

It was one of the finest compliments I'd had in quite some time. As I was thinking of how to respond, she filled the silence.

"I mean it," she said getting off the bed. "Now, go get a shower and get dressed. I'm gonna get breakfast started. My daughter spent the night with friends saying goodbye. She'll be home in a couple of hours and I need to see her off to college."

As an afterthought, she leaned over, kissing me on the cheek. "Thanks for letting me make things up to you - and thank you for a wonderful and much-needed night of bliss. I'm always up for a rematch."

Allison:

I spent the weekend in a fog. I had no idea how to set things right, no matter how hard I thought about it. I felt so bad for Dane. But worse, I felt like I'd wronged him terribly. There were many milliseconds at the bonfire where I should have interceded and never did. When Dane came out of the water, all I did was stare at his privates. I'd never be able to forget the look of betrayal he gave me.

The women, all my patients, were going to be easier to deal with. I could admonish them and spend time talking through how they felt that night, so they know exactly what they'd be apologizing for at our next group session. I suspected, from my experience, part of it was payback, for the men in their lives who had wronged them.

Rob was as supportive as usual. God, I loved that man. He made it through the weekend, barely.

I knew that come Monday morning he'd begun to worry. Usually, we could talk through things, even without divulging anything private with the clients. Rob seemed frazzled and at his wit's end, not being able to get me out of my funk.

Sue and Maricella had their standing appointments that day. Linda was my first appointment on Tuesday morning. I dreaded Wednesday. That was the day I always met with Dane at 4:00 unless something came up at his restaurant job, in which case I had an open time slot on Friday.

Both ladies that day showed a great deal of remorse. They also tried to blame Linda, to a degree, which I had expected. We talked at length about what a sincere apology would look like, and they also admitted that at least a small amount of taunting was related to getting some back for themselves after being screwed over by their ex-husbands.

Monday had been productive. Rob felt relieved when I came home acting like the woman he was used to. We made love that night, and I began to feel some confidence that I could help the group work through the debacle.

Tuesday was the polar opposite of Monday. Linda came in floating on a cloud. A beautiful puffy white cloud, as she put it. As the story of her weekend began to unfold, I sat dumbfounded at her revelations. Had I been in my right mind, I'd have recognized that some of my feelings were jealousy. A larger part was centered around how upset I'd been all weekend - how poorly I'd treated my husband and children - all because Linda had played out a horrible prank - and that I needed to find a solution to.

Several times during the hour, I had to relax my jaw, which had my teeth mashed tightly together. I wanted to lash out, blaming Linda as the other women had. I knew deep down that Linda had not only proven her sorrow and remorse to Dane but had also gotten something very important out of it for herself. I should have been shouting words of encouragement and reinforcing much of what we'd been discussing for the better part of six months, but I couldn't. Finally, I should have been introspective and canceled my appointment with Dane for the following day.

I didn't. I told myself I was still responsible and needed to take the lead in setting things right providing the healing he needed.

That night at home, I was a nervous wreck. Rob point-blank asked me what the hell was going on. I decided to tell him some - not all - of what had happened at the bonfire. He looked very worried, even as I left out the parts I thought would implicate me the most. Even with him snuggling me in bed that night, my body felt like a piece of rebar.

Thousands of thoughts flowed through me on Wednesday, as I tried to prepare for Dane. The problem was, after hearing Linda recount her weekend with him and his kids, I had no idea which Dane might show up for his appointment. Worse than what he'd endured last Friday night at the beach, I had no idea how I'd deal with Dane fondly recounting his night and morning with Linda.

That worry turned out to be a waste of time and energy. Dane sat, considering me cautiously, and it felt like he was staring right through me. I began my well-rehearsed apology. I asked leading questions about how he felt at the time, and then later that night. He answered with the same level of caution. It wasn't going well.

Twenty minutes into the session, things changed. Dane became emotional about how the women had treated him. He opened up more than ever before, telling me about his first love in high school, and how she'd walked out on him with another male student at the homecoming dance. He talked about his next love interest, a girl he dated for two years, and gotten engaged to. How he felt things were going wrong somehow, and then how he'd caught her in a guy's pickup truck one night when he went to the bowling alley where she worked as a bartender.

His entire demeanor changed, as he told me how the guy, a big, tall, Tony Orlando-type, made the mistake of rolling down his window instead of getting out of the truck. Dane languidly explained how he'd beaten the man, as he was defenseless hanging out of a half-rolled down window. Dane described how he felt he'd blacked out, not remembering sending the man to the hospital.

He related how he went back to the liquor store he worked at. How a married woman who was his co-worker, had covered for him. Then upon his return, she'd tended to his bruised and bloodied hands. He explained how after locking up at midnight, he'd had maniacal revenge sex with her in the back room. How she'd given herself freely. My overloaded and confused mind went back to some of Linda's detailed revelations from the previous day.

There were many tears. I had to give Dane at least three breaks to collect himself. He blamed himself for Gloria and all that occurred. The poor man, actually said that "his 'picker' was broken."

With that, Dane put his head down into his hands and sobbed soul-pounding, shoulder-shaking sobs.

I grabbed a box of Kleenex and moved to his side on the couch, putting my hand gently on his back. He began to regain his composure and looked up at me. He looked so sad - so lost.

We both leaned in at the same time, like some damned Hollywood movie.

I kissed him.

Not a gentle motherly kiss. A real kiss. I felt myself falling down a rabbit hole, as my body betrayed me. The kiss lingered, and then our tongues met. I was breathless. As we broke the kiss, I inhaled deeply, because I'd stopped breathing, maybe forgotten how.

All at once, my personal and professional brain kicked in. "What are you doing?" My inner voice yelled. I stiffened and stood immediately. Dane reached out for my hand, my left hand. I'd become so overwhelmed by my actions - so numb - that I didn't realize my hand was in his until one of his fingers gently rolled my rings. I pulled away.

Dane stood facing me.

"Uh... Umm, I think that's all for today," I told him unconvincingly.

He stared into my eyes, our faces just inches apart. His eyes wandered to the clock over my left shoulder. I swear, I knew exactly what he was going to say before the words left his lips.

"Hey, I still have ten min..."

He never finished. My lips mashed against his, passionately, urgently. A fuse had been lit, deep in my belly, and it sent shock waves down below, as up above, my craving multiplied in time with the compulsion in my loins. I felt like a rag doll on fire.

Dane was completely in tune. He lifted me up, even though we were the same height, and carried me the short four feet to my desk. Instinctively, my traitorous legs wrapped around him. We never broke the kiss. My flats were pulled from my feet. My dress was hiked up, all while I heard his zip coming down. His pelvis ground hungrily into mine.

When he broke the kiss so he could remove my panties, I had the first coherent thought. "Stop!" I said to myself, but not out loud. Honestly, as much as I wanted to stop at that moment, I also didn't. I wanted him - so badly that I ached for it.

Dane moved to go down on me. I grabbed his forearms, gently saying, "No. I want you inside me."

He grabbed my hips, lining up his steel-hard cock. I braced myself for his youthful exuberance.

Everything became a blur, as Dane took me - lashed out at me - using his penis as a weapon. My ears barely heard the desk squeaking and trying to stay together under our lustful rutting. I was crying both immensely happy and sorrowful tears. Happy to take away Dane's pain, and sad for the utter violation, I'd committed on my loving husband.

If the clock had anything to do with it, I'm sure I still owed Dane a few minutes. For me, it was over too quickly, but I'd cum at least twice, by the time he finished on my pubic hair. Even though he'd thought to pull out, I'd need a plan B pill as soon as possible.

While my brain had been in overdrive, Dane had put his cock away. He bent over to kiss me.

"No, Dane," I said in a little voice. "You need to go."

I sat crying in my car in the pharmacy parking lot for at least thirty minutes. A man in his seventies gently tapped on the window, asking if I was all right. I nodded sadly, started my car, and drove off. I drove - and drove - aimlessly, for nearly another half hour, and then pulled into a Starbucks at the end of our street and redid my make-up.

I had no idea how I was supposed to face Rob. I had no desire to lie or to tell the truth. I had no idea exactly how long it would take him to figure out what a worthless slut I was. The self-deprecation was flowing worse than the tears I'd shed. I could never go back to what we were. I didn't think I'd be able to face either Rob or Dane ever again, but I had to try. There weren't any other options.

While getting myself together, I decided telling Rob would hurt him most. Like so many of my patients, I thought it was better if only I knew; as such, I could repay him for my betrayal in any way. I now understood how they felt. It was one thing to give advice, and something entirely different to live it.

Whatever I did, and however I acted, Rob didn't notice. I found it odd that he could sense my distress or sadness on many levels, but not a cheating wife's tells. I spent most of the evening playing and talking with the children, before putting them to bed.

As Rob climbed into our bed, he asked, "How did your session with Dane go?"

I thought my heart stopped. I purposefully didn't answer right away, putting my book on the nightstand and then turning to face my husband.

"It went better than I expected," I so hoped my voice didn't crack. "Linda probably had something to do with that. She apologized to him for causing problems at the beach, and he accepted that."

"I'm glad to hear it," Rob answered, reaching to turn off the light on his side. "You were starting to worry me. I've got a big day tomorrow, babe, and I'm really tired. We'll go to a movie on Friday, and make up for tonight then, okay?"

I kissed my husband good night. I felt like Judas. It took me a long time to go to sleep that night.

Thursday's group session occurred without incident too. At first, I wouldn't make eye contact with Dane, just in case he was shooting looks of his own that said, "We know something the rest of you don't."