Tug in King Arthur's Court

My fingers reached their destination. After only a few seconds of twiddling, Maria began to hyperventilate. Her little ring of muscles began to pulse rhythmically. Then she emitted a groan that could probably be heard downstairs. That led to a rampage of bucking and shoving that brought on an eruption from me that would have rivaled Vesuvius.

Sometimes we just lie there afterward. But this time she quickly turned again, pulling me out of her with a sucking sound, and fastened a kiss on my lips that communicated her deep commitment to me and our marriage. It was such a heartfelt gesture that I said, "Wow! That was unexpected!"

She said, "I love you so much that sometimes the feeling overwhelms me. You are so kind and brave, and you let me know in every way possible how loved I am. I just can't get enough of you." Then she began to weep.

I said concerned, "Maria! What's the matter?!"

She said sniffling, "I don't know what I'd ever do without you. This is the most dangerous assignment we've been on and I'm afraid I'll lose you. We are immortal by human standards. But we can be killed, just like they can."

Well, notwithstanding the fact that she was so concerned about my well-being it was interesting to discover that such a perfect woman could have her own worries and concerns.

I always thought that Maria was above all of the normal woman stuff. Maybe I'd grown on her? I said lovingly, "We do what we do together, always. If I died tomorrow it would be a wonderful life because you were in it.

*****

The morning dawned bright and sunny. It was the merry month of May in fifth Century Britain. But looking out the window I couldn't tell the difference between this time, and sixteen Centuries in the future.

The buildings were all made of stone and well maintained. All of them had glass in the windows and the people down in the street were nicely dressed and going about their business.

It looked like a typical English market day.

Granted there were no sounds of our civilization, automobiles, airplanes or any form of mechanical assistance. But the voices were the same and the atmosphere was nothing like what you would expect in a time that was called the "Dark Ages."

Of course, we WERE in Camelot, a place of legendary bounty.

We had arranged to meet Merlinus Ambrosius at the baths. That was a standard meeting place for anybody in Roman society and so our getting together would seem innocuous. Maria was excited about that.

She loves her bath. She's a very sensual woman. In fact, she loves bathing so much that I heard an exasperated voice in my head say, "Aren't you ready yet." We were back to being husband and wife.

There was a significant town surrounding the walls of the legionary fortress. After their time was up, many of the soldiers that had served with the Second Augusta settled around there.

But, there were also a lot of the indigenous British living in the town. The Roman army was great at engineering. So, the Second, Augusta had built the Fortress when they arrived in-country with Vespasian as their General. Consequently, local tradesmen, craftsmen and other businesses had been located there for a very long time.

There were also a number of Roman administrative structures and the warehouses, which I had noted the night before.

Those supported the army, even if Rome was not officially in charge any more. The river Isca had easy access to the Bristol Channel. So, ships from any destination could reach there. It gave you the sense that you were in a significant shipping and distribution port, like Boston or San Francisco.

A couple of hundred years from now this whole area would be a wasteland, as everybody from the Saxons, to the Vikings, to the wild Welsh tribes fought over the place. But for this one brief shining moment, it was STILL known as Camelot.

The streets of the suburb between the River Isca and the Fortress itself, were lined with what were mostly masonry buildings.

The street grid was laid out in the same fashion as the fortress. There were two perpendicular streets, always called the Via Principalis and the Via Praetoria. These formed a perfect cross.

The warehouses were at one end of the Via Praetoria and the fortress gate was at the other. The intersection of the Via Praetoria and the Via Principalis was the place where all of the monumental stone administrative structures were located.

The baths occupied the entire northwest corner of the intersection. That indicated how integral baths were to Roman daily life. And, make no mistake about it. Caerleon was still a thoroughly Roman town.

The bath complex wasn't like modern people might imagine it. When we think "baths" we think either swimming pool, or health club. But for the Romans, the baths were the center of their social life. For instance, the Baths of Caracalla in Rome covered sixty acres and featured an entire library.

Even here on the frontier, the baths of the former Roman Empire were extensive and full of people socializing and conducting business as much as they were bathing. It was an odd experience to be luxuriating in the comfort of warm sulphury water, while the Dark Ages was just kicking-off in the territory around this little bit of heaven.

I had a quick final dip in the cold pool and then went looking for Maria. I found her sitting in the courtyard happily chatting with the handsomest man I had ever seen. My jealousy meter spiked off the end of the scale.

I heard a merry voice in my head say, "This is Merlin silly." I should have known. All Atlantean men looked like this dude.

But, where was the pointed cap, wrinkled face and huge white beard? I assume that the ancient persona and the weird costume was cooked up by Geoffrey of Monmouth to explain how somebody could be so "wise."

As usual, Maria's talking to such a good-looking guy made me doubt myself. I thought, "With so many handsome men in her life, what in the world is Maria doing with me."

Your mind is an open book when you are married to an Atlantean. So, I might as well have just shouted that out loud.

A tender voice said, "Because I love YOU, you silly man." And she did, I could feel the subliminal truth of that. I will never understand the labyrinth of the female mind. And, I will never understand the reason why. But Maria's loving presence was reassuring

I sat on the opposite bench and reached across my to offer my hand to the man. I said, "Tug." He took it and said, "Merlinus." I looked him over. He radiated wit, poise and kindliness. I liked him.

It was weird. I was greeting a legendary historical figure. But it was more like we were being introduced at a neighborhood get-together.

Merlin was cut out of the same mold as Carlos, medium height, and perfect features. Everything about him was immaculate, right down to the blond hair, which he wore short and with bangs, like the Emperor Trajan.

Merlin was perhaps eight-hundred-years-old, which is middle age for an Atlantean, so he probably knew Trajan, who had ruled almost 300 years earlier. But, Merlin was actually more similar to me than he was to Maria. He was only a quasi-Atlantean.

According to the myths he got his powers because his mother was mortal and his father was an incubus. That explanation probably worked in Medieval times. But the more likely explanation was that his old man was an Atlantean.

Hence, Merlin's powers were nowhere near as far-reaching as Maria's. But he could do some of the things she could do; like read minds. And he DID have access to all of that Atlantean technology.

He was stuck in this time because his mother wasn't Atlantean. But, a person with Atlantean abilities and heritage would still be a force to reckon with in fifth Century Britain.

The arrival of a young girl interrupted us at that point. She looked like Maria's little sister; meaning she was loveliness personified; so stunningly beautiful that she made your eyes water.

If Maria was the Atlantean equivalent of late twenties this one was perhaps ten or so years younger, meaning not a day over two hundred and fifty.

She was also clearly not completely Atlantean. If she had possessed perfect features, pale skin and ice blue eyes I would have guessed that she was an Athenian - and run for my life.

But this one had an Atlantean's lovely face, golden eyes and a figure, which was a whole lot curvier than the Athenian women I'd met. Athenian females tend to have the stick thin shape of runway models, not the body of a Sports Illustrated cover girl.

The new woman was enchanting, which I later learned was both a fact, as well as descriptive. She demurely extended her hand to me, while at the same time giving me a look that could only be described as carnal.

She said, "Nymue." I said hospitably, "Tug." But, I was quaking inside. This girl might have resembled a teeny-bopper pin-up. But I had just met the legendary Lady of the Lake.

My wife was eying the new arrival with considerable speculation. I could tell that Maria was confused, which was an absolutely new feature.

Maria is always sure of herself. Because we were all telepathic Maria couldn't say anything to me without giving away who she was. So, she arched an eyebrow to tell me to shut my mind down.

Nymue cuddled under Merlin's arm. She was a seductive little minx. In return, Merlin was clearly loving every inch of that spectacular body pressed against him.

Nymue was watching me expectantly, as-if she thought that I was going to ask her something stupid; like, "Are you really an Enchantress?".

I was taking my cues from Maria and was shut up tight, both my mouth and my mind. Spending your twenties in a ganga-fueled haze helps you keep unnecessary impediments like thoughts suppressed.

Maria said ritually, "My father sends you greetings Merlinus. Our assignment is to help you. What do you need us to do?"

At that point Nymue giggled girlishly and said, "Well, if you are going to talk about boring stuff I'm going back to Court. There are more interesting things to do there."

She rose gracefully and swayed off in the direction of the fortress. I got the impression she had a nooner scheduled or something.

Merlin watched her go, with lust written on his face. I could tell that was going to be a problem. He turned to us and said resignedly, "She's caught me in her web."

Then he turned to us and said, "Here's why I called you."

*****

Merlin's story filled in all of the gaps in the Arthurian legend and explained a lot. The Saxons were the problem. They were seafaring raiders, who came to Britain in ships, just like the Vikings did 400 years later.

Vortigern had invited them into the country as hired muscle. But, by the late 5th Century they had taken over most of eastern Britain, forcing out the indigenous Britons.

It wasn't exactly an invasion. It was more like the other Germanic people were doing, moving in and setting up shop in lands that used to be part of the Roman Empire.

The Saxons were basically barbarians, much less cultured and sophisticated than the Romano-Britons. And, they thought nothing of raiding their neighbors whenever they felt like it.

So, naturally the highly civilized former residents, wanted the Saxons removed. Arthur was the King. And by that point-in-time, he had fought a number of battles with the Saxons.

Those battles were aimed at eliminating their enclaves on Britain's east and southeast coast. That was called the "Saxon Shore," because those were the nearest coasts to the Saxon homeland.

Arthur's army was a typical late Roman era force, composed of what was called "palatini." which was an elite assemblage of Roman heavy infantry legionnaires. However, Arthur's army also included cataphractii.

The Romans were militarily successful because they had no qualms about copying other people's methods. Cataphracts were an innovation that they "borrowed" from the Parthians; after the Parthians handed Crassus his lunch at Carrhae.

Up to that time the Romans had fought mainly on foot. But Carrhae taught them how effective armored horsemen were and they blended them into their military.

Cataphracts were steel-clad shock troops, both man and horse swathed in chain mail and plate armor. They were, used to break shield walls. They did that by charging those walls with long lances. Then the foot soldiers would do the mopping up.

Because the armor was expensive, only the wealthiest and most noble citizens were cataphracts. Thus, the tradition of the aristocratic armored warrior was born. And, the band of noble cataphracts that were part of Arthur's crew became the prototype for the Knights of the Round Table.

Arthur's main advantage over the Saxons was his organization. The Saxons were basically tribal. They fought in war bands rather than armies. Although they were fierce fighters and there were a lot of them, they had never been able to organize enough to overcome Arthur's advantage in equipment and tactics.

Arthur won nine battles on the Saxon Shore. They were so decisive that the Saxon King Cheldric agreed to take his people and leave the Country. But, instead of moving on to France, as they had agreed to do, the Saxons sailed around the coast of England to Dorset in the southwest and marched north to attack Arthur's own base at Caerleon.

Arthur hurried down the Fosse Way, all the way from Lincoln to Cirencester and fought two battles on the River Brue in Somersetshire. He won both. But after fighting eleven pitched battles in less than two years, his army was so exhausted that he pulled back to Caerleon to rest and refit.

That was the point in history where we had arrived. Unfortunately, I knew that this peaceable moment was just a respite between the eleventh and twelfth battle. That would be at Badon Hill. It would be the defining moment for Arthur and the Britons. Because Saxon power would be broken for a very long time afterward.

I said, puzzled, "That's an interesting story Merlin. I enjoyed hearing it from a guy who actually witnessed it. But, I don't see the reason why you need us."

Merlin looked at Maria and said, "Can you shield us." Almost instantly, I felt one of Maria's impenetrable cloaks descend on us.

Merlin looked a little surprised at the extent of Maria's power. She gave him a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin. I knew that cloaking was the least of her abilities. Merlin said, "There are a number of half Athenians in Arthur's court and they are conspiring to change history in a way that will impact all of civilization from now until the end of time."

Well then!! If that's the case then we'd better hop to it!!

The crux of the matter lay in the fact that the main characters in the Arthurian legend were all randy as monkeys. It started when Arthur's mom fucked around on her husband. Well, actually, at the time his mom didn't KNOW that she was fucking around on him.

Confused? Well it gets worse.

Arthur's mom Igraine had been locked up in Tintagel Castle to keep her out of the clutches of Uther Pendragon who was the Roman Magistrate at the time. Uther had the hots for Igraine big-time.

Merlin can cloak people. He's nowhere near as good as Maria, but he's good enough to fool Igraine into thinking that she was fucking her husband, not Uther. Uther and Igraine then proceeded to spend the night sweating up the sheets and Arthur was the result.

Why did Merlin do it? Well, he was playing his own deep game. Igraine's first husband was an Athenian and Merlin, quite justifiably, wanted him dead. Uther wanted Igraine. So, Uther readily agreed to eliminate Igraine's husband, in return for a night with the fair maiden.

That night must have been inspirational. Because, shortly after the Athenian's untimely demise, Uther married the new widow; making his little son Arthur, the future king.

Besides Arthur, who was as human as his dad, Igraine had two daughters by her first husband, the Athenian; Morgause and Morgan Le Fay. I knew them both. They were both stunningly beautiful and absolutely and completely skanky.

Then, the plot thickens. It was over a small matter of incest.

Arthur's half-sister Morgause, was the wife of a buddy of Arthur's named Loth. Long-story-short, Arthur ran into Morgause at the fifth Century equivalent of a royal get-together and thought that she was hot. So, he seduced her.

The outcome of that little tryst was a fellow named Mordred. Of course, it was questionable who seduced who. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that, neither of the two parties involved in the seduction knew that Morgause was really Arthur's half-sister.

Kind of reads like the plot of a soap opera doesn't it?

I might have mentioned a couple of times before, that Athenians are the evilest sons-of-bitches in two solar systems. So, a couple of half Athenian women and a guy who is a quarter Athenian are potentially more dangerous than a pack of rabid Dobermans.

Now throw in the fact that Mordred was a product of incest and you get a dude who's one white Persian cat short of being the complete James Bond arch-villain.

Arthur's younger half-sister was Morgan le Fey. She was even sluttier than Morgause. Morgan was industriously working her way through the male population of the Fortress, when Arthur's wife Guinevere caught her in-flagrante.

Since they were all fucking each other that didn't cause much of a stir. The problem was that Guinevere blew the whistle to Arthur. THAT pissed off Morgan and so she filled Arthur in on Guinevere's OWN regular Tuesday and Thursday afternoon get-togethers with Lancelot.

Of course, Arthur did what any other self-respecting husband would do. He tried to burn Guinevere at the stake.

But, Lancelot rescued her and the two of them fled to France. That sensational case of adultery had played itself out just a month before we arrived. So needless to say, there was a lot of shit going on in Arthur's life at that particular moment.

Toss in Nymue and we had another complication. Nymue might look Atlantean. But, she was also half Athenian. That was why she came off so strange.

Maria told me that happened once in a while. Because, Athenian men had a fetish for Atlantean women. So, rape was never out of the question.

Consequently, even though Nymue looked Atlantean and was raised by an Atlantean woman, it was a sure bet that Nymue couldn't be trusted. Even worse Merlin had a thing for her. So, he wasn't absolutely trustworthy either.

I said, "That's all-well-and-good Merlin. But I still don't see how we can help. What you're describing is no worse than the Kennedys and, with the exception of depriving us of Marilyn Monroe, they didn't actually change much."

Merlin said, "What if I told you that the Athenians are planning on taking the "England" out of England."

What??!! That didn't make sense. I said, "Besides being grammatically incorrect, it's illogical."

Merlin looked like he was tired of me being so negative, He said testily, "What do you think would happen if the Saxons and their allies the Angles were so thoroughly defeated by Arthur that they left Britain forever. You DO know that the Country is named after them, right?"

I thought about that for a second. The name England comes from the Saxon word, "Anglaland." So, most of British heritage, including our language, derives from the Anglo-Saxons, not the Romano-British.

By implication that also meant that if Arthur chased the Saxons out of England for good, then the entire course of English-speaking history would change; which would include the future of the United States.

Western Civilization would be entirely different if the Saxons had NOT eventually succeeded. England would be Latin, not Germanic.

The language would be romance, like Spanish and French. All of the English cultural traditions, which reflect the happy blend of Latin and Germanic values and tradition would be lost forever and the United States and Canada would be a lot more like Quebec, than Toronto.