by KemMyst
Would have liked to have had them mate properly but hope that will happen in the next chapter. Please no more should he or shouldn't he that is gets boring real quick.
Certainly not what either of them was expecting. Emmett probably believes they have past the worst of it, but I wonder about Lyssa. Of course, she'd be crazy not to take him eventually. Give them time together in the pack and then we'll see.
i really enjoyed this chapter, but could you upload the next chapter a bit quicker please? have been waiting a while for this chapter, and...well...suffice to say it wasn't that fun to wait 3 weeks for an upload.
Everyone got caught in this chapter. Lyssa got caught by Emmett. Emmett got caught by the boys. And Joanna got caught by Lyssa's bullet. I like the way you appear to be lying up all the lose ends. I will miss this storyline when you end this story, but at the same time I look forward to you next storyline.
I liked it a lot. The waiting was horrendous! but im excited for the next chapter.
So glad to see another chapter. I enjoyed it alot. I only thought that the reaction Lyssa had at the end when she says that Emmett said they will kill them, etc is how she should have reacted as they got out of the car. I didn't think she should calmly follow them and take a shower before she had that reaction. She has been living in fear waiting for the pack to find them, a matter of when not if, and yet she was too calm in the beginning. Beyond that, I liked the way you developed their relationship. You allowed it to happen really naturally. You let them talk about their lives up till that point and have some tender moment slow. I look forward to seeing how this goes from here. I hope you don't sum it up too quickly. You've done it at a nice pace so far. I would like to see you have her bond a bit with the alphas since they are his family. Great story!
OMG I love your story and would hate to see it end... it could be as big as twilight was... at least for the adults genre. oh the waiting was horrible but seeing it just made my night and im so excited on how its moving...cant wait for more!
I love this series!! I'm so hooked that I've had to check two to three times a day since #10 came out for this chapter and I'll probably do the same untill # 12 comes out! Keep writing! You should take this story to an editor!
all over the place in the beginning but better by the end. You waited quite a while to mention Emmett and Lyssa by name. It really distracted me in the beginning, even though I knew who you were writing about.
Otherwise, an interesting addition to the story.
Love this story! I really think that with some work - you should try to sell it to publishers! That being said, this wasn't my favprite chapter. I felt like you were trying to rush especially at the beginning (although it got better) and the language and phrasings was oddly formal. It didn't seem to fit the previous chapters. Still a good job though. I hope you'll consider trying to publish!
The clock is counting down to my breakdown if I don't get the next chapter soon.
Tick,tick,tick....BOOM! Oops to late.
screamed loud enough to disturb next door neighbor...
you happy now?
lol
I'm so glad to see your improvement! The pacing is better, the dialogue is more coherent. I'm still waffly on Lyssa, but that could just be preference. The writing is better, and that's the thing you can control. :)
I decided to read some if your early work, and I don't see why this is so highly rated. A lot of the lurkers in this section must inflate the votes. The dialogue is rather flat and contrived, and most of the time the story is clichéd.
He tried to rape her and they let him live? Moreover, Emmett let him live? WOW! Just wow! Hats off! If something like this had happened to my mate, I would have killed him...slowly. And, the Alphas? What an incompetent bunch! I would rather die than return to the rule of a man who let my mate endure such atrocities. Rapists don't desrve to live. And, weak, pathetic men don't desrve to rule..
Everyone in this pack aside from Joanna and Emmett are a bunch of assholes. I'm sure the final chapter will have them all making amends and living happily ever after but if it were any type of reality, Lyssa would never be able to trust these people or their word again. She and Emmett would have to leave and find a new pack. There's no way in hell a woman would willingly stay in a pack with her abuser/attempted rapist nearby for the rest of her life. Especially when she was told no harm would come to her and then literally nobody gave a flying fuck when harm did come. They were never once concerned with her wellbeing. The Alpha's are shit. They aren't looking out for the best interests of their pack whatsoever. I would love for Lyssa to change and find out she's some sort of mythical alpha bitch and take the current alphas out.