by Hot_Sister
Excellent segment as always. I feel you always do a good job of introducing new characters who are believable. Chelsea Rising has always been a good series to me and I would hope there is more to it. Even if you do want to close out this series I would say this chapter while very good still felt open in the journey that Ben and Chelsea are taking. Regardless I always enjoy your work and I look forward to your next piece that we can enjoy
Love the story . You had me thinking in the fight seen that Chel had bit the dust. I wanted to rush to the end and see but i held out and finished the story. I was very happy with the ending. Thanks for a very good read.
A very nice story, but I really could have done without the rape and attempted murder. And the cat. Especially the cat.
The romantic part at the end ... almost ... made up for the rest.
And soon! This is such a great story, and the parenthood aspect along with the extended family coming together would provide such a great addition to the already strong emotional backdrop you've given the tale. As for this story, yes, the violent parts in this one were disturbing, but necessary. It paid off in the end. Well done!
This is a great story and even if you were to end it on the next ch (really hope u dont) I would love to see how they deal with children.this is a fantastic story and I love it the romance its great and the story is fantastic don't listen to the people who say that the rape and the cat were to far they were sick an gruesome but the fact that they are in the story shows that u know that the world has some sick puppies in it. I'm glad u had it in there to show that they could get through anything though I will admit u scared the hell outa me I thought it was gunna have a sad ending. Anyway I hope this convinces you to write another ch knowing u have a super fan of this story(not the creepy kind) and I hope u keep this hobby up it's great and don't ever let someone tell you you aren't a great writer thx for this story and I hope to see more.
-sincerely, the art!st
I like the story, you did a good job with the twists and turns of it. The phsyco aspect was a bit much but all in all it has been a very good series and I hope that you continue with it, I for one would enjoy following Ben and Chelsea's life together. It has been an interesting love story to this point. Thanks for writing it and I hope you do continue to add to it.
I couldn't believe the drama and the love and everything else, could've used some changes, but still one my favorite stories ever, you friggin rock.
This is the best stories I have ever read on here please keep up the good work
i didn't read this because you said it had rape in it and i thank you for the warning but you are a asshole if you think any story NEEDS rape in it. if you had to add the rape then you should have put it in the nonconsent area not here. there is never a good reason for putting rape in a story it is not erotic or sexy and is never acceptable or needed. you would have been better off leaving this waste of time unposted the rest of the story wasn't that good anyway this is one of those stories you wish the writer never finished.
Like most of the people that commented on your story here, I enjoyed your writing. The detailed development of your main characters along with the trials and tribulations that they go through is outstanding ! As others have stated about this chapter, I was very concerned with Dirk's dark sadistic character and the confrontation with Chelsea.
I'm glad that you put your warning in the beginning of the chapter but, that still didn't stop me from wanting to feel Dirk's sadistic life slipping from him as my own hands crushed his windpipe to end his miserable life.
You are a very good writer and I hope that you would consider as others have requested that you continue this story further.
This series was a real roller coaster, but I'm glad it ended well! Keep writing.
I am so glad that you continued to allow this story to flow. Very well written and a very good ending , so far! Write more, you are an amazing talent.
...and thank you for it. Judging from the comments, I'm glad I skipped pages 3 and 4; I got the gist of what transpired, and glad I passed on it.
This chapter had a different air about it-perhaps you are evolving in your writing technique. I hope chapter 5 comes along in the style and atmosphere you set in chapters 1-3; regardless, I will be there!
M
I loved this story. I couldn't stop reading it. Please continue it. I would love to hear more about all of them.
i really like the story, its a really pleasurable read and i wish to convert it into a manga , but only if its ok with you.
I loved it. My favorite stories are those of siblings being able to shake societal limitations and wind up as a couple, living the rest of their lives together. Thank you.
but that's how life is, alas.
Brilliant. As we say in Glasgow, pure dead brilliant.
excellent work with this series I would love to read more as this is my favorite one of your works and I've read most of them
I read the whole series and another of your stories and I must say you have a gift for writing. There is so much written out there but few who have talent. I don't often leave comments on any site, but felt the need to say you are a true artist with the written word.
Wow, what an ending. This was really a mystery filled with murder and just about everything else. I cried through parts of it and felt good through parts of it. You really built up the characters very well and the rapists got their just deserts. Between Dirk and William and then of course the prostitute . It kept me on the edge of my chair reading even to going back to read something I thought I missed. You are a good writer.
So much detail in the back story and the sex scenes. Thanks for a great read.
Your story was amazing,it made me laugh,cry,get pissed off,scared,worried,and happy and only a author of your talent can write a story that can really effect the reader in the fascinating way that you have me. You have an amazing talent and a forever fan and loyal reader.I loved your story and look forward to. your future works.thank you for your gift of literature
Grade A+ writer. All of these submissions show very good organization, editing and composition skills. Pleasant yet arm-chair grasping story lines.
As far as your writing skills, you did a very good job with hitting every emotion there is. But I do have to say with the depth and detail you went into. You must at some level enjoyed punishing these two characters. Especially Chelsea. I had reservations about her in the beginning that she might not be an entirely redeemable character but like the journey of your story she earned her place in this love story. I don't usually go for cheating among siblings in these love stories but having Ben stumble as well seemed to even out the short coming of Chelsea from the beginning. But the fact that I find myself analyzing this story that much is just to show how good of a job you did constructing this story. Well done I will look forward to more of you're stories.
I guess im confused,its like this chapter started out having absolutely nothing to do with the last chapter... A totally disjointed story or something... Anyway I couldnt make myself read it when the brother started attacking his sister. ...and in the preface i dont get why the bastard blamed his mom for the dads death when everything was the prick fathers fault, not like he gave a fuck about the boy anyway... Sigh. Love all the other stories though, guess ill pick another.
I regard your OVER use of regarded as a sign that you are not clever enough to use other descriptions (endearing or colorful) The over use of Regarded has been a bane to me as I struggled through a nice complex story
I can not say much, for I am feeling very low at the moment because I have just finished the series and I didn't want it to end. Chelsea will stay forever in my heart, and I will carry her with me to death. That's all I can say. I'm the happiest person in the world at this moment!!! Chelsea!!!!
Your story was beautiful and I hated to see it end. You have such talent. Please continue to write.
I really enjoyed this series. It easily ranks among the best on this site.
I really enjoyed this series and was sad to see it end. I will have to look and see if you've already given Cielle her own story. If not I'd love to see her healed and get her own HEA. I really enjoyed the characters in this story, so thanks so much for sharing it with all of us! If you haven't already, you really should consider trying to get published, wether as a short story or novella. I know the whole brother/sister taboo writing may make it very difficult to get published, but if you're comfortable writing more conventional (wether it be m/m, m/w, w/w or multiples) I think you have the makings of a good writer and I, for one, would be interested in purchasing any stories that you have published. Thanks again for sharing Ben and Chelsea's story with us!
...when Dirk stabbed her, but you wrapped that up nicely and quickly. You've likely taken this story as far as you could, so it was good to wrap it up. Going back a bit, it would have been nice to see exactly how Ben and Chelsea re-established their relationship.
But well done. Very well done.
Excellent story, well written. You need to stop using the word "regarded", you are not French lol. You use it way way too much and it ruins everything. You are trying to be too litterary and it doesn't' work. Just write, "she looked at him", very easy, simple and straight to the point. "Regarded" comes from the French language and shouldn't replace the word "looked" at every time.
Omg...What a ride ! Emotional rollercoaster ! Your character development is deep and descriptive .The last of the chapters was a quick read.Hollered "yeah" when you revealed Chelsea was alive and well (I was in a fast food restaurant). Felt Dirk's pain and fear when Chelsea was impaled on the knife...all via your capable writing.Thanks for sharing your joy and pain !
You're a really talented writer, your descriptions are wonderful to read, you can really bring things to life with them, your ability to make the story live is so good, I'm just disappointed that after 4 superb chapters it has now come to an end. I'll move on now to another of your stories, I just hope that it and the others can live up to this one.
Thank-you again for writing these stories !
Wow that was some twists and turns but its awesome how it ended up ty great writing
thought she was dead and he hooked up with the new stepsister, nice turn of events. the four stories are excellent, I like your writing well done.
Thanks again for another thrilling story filled with lust, love and drama that you do so well. A great big pat on the back for a job well done. Thanks.
You should get these stories published you'd make a fortune.l don't usually read fiction much but your stories kept me entranced.had to go out but I could not wait to get back to finish it.Very talented.nice it all ended well and very realistic not totally like my life but very very close.My sister is reading it now on her iPad and keeps laughing at how close it is to our story.our life is just less dramatic but we had trouble with family too and could not risk having kids naturally but love them just the same.well done and thanks
...hate Dirk in a super-short time with all he did to Cielle and thought to do to Sarah--to say nothing of him trying to damage his mom, Chelsea and Ben. Loved the poetic justice, as the way you were going, I didn't think they'd get onto him before it was too late. You resolved it well, without it being too convenient. The only thing not explained was Cielle's pregnancy and what happened to that.
Well written. No doubt it's a 5. :)
What a chapter. Jesus fucking Christ, Dirk was even more of an evil human being than William. Although this is another great chapter, all the depravity really wanted me to break away from it.
For me, chapter three is the perfect ending for me however.
5/5
Loved all the chapters! Had me hiding under the covers at some moments.
It could have gone in several directions. I'm glad it went the way it did. It was very easy to get lost (immersed ) in the story. A good story should draw the reader in as though he were at least there. I'd give this one 6 or 7 stars if I could.
I can't believe this was once a tender love story. Such a dark and grim turn. At least you included a warning but, seriously, it needs to be a much stronger warning. I'm gonna go back to the beauty that was ch. 1.
Thank you. Nice work on Dirk, what a demon. I was so relieved that the knife wound wasn't fatal! Glad it worked out for them.
I've now read to the end, four chapters in four days. I was afraid that Chelsea had died and Ben had taken up with Cielle. I was much relieved and gratified that a very alive Chelsea appeared in the final scene. Your work kept me in suspense as a good detective story should. And it left me feeling warm and content as a good romance should. I thoroughly enjoyed it, congratulations to a master craftsman!
All four chapters were excellent. I hated the two antagonists, but they added weight to the whole story. Life isn't all wine & roses. Well done! A 5-star effort.
I enjoy reading a story that stretches the boundaries of reality while maintaining the limitations of possibilities. I’m sure most siblings at some point in time were sexually curious and explored their differences together. I know I did and do not suffer from feelings of guilt or embarrassment.
More of your imaginative mind will be appreciated.
Love all the twists and turns of the story! Wonderful writing!
I had a tear in my eye at the end of Chapter 2 and again at the end of 4.
I was so involved in the tale. Great writing.
More please.
You really put them and us through the paces as your story unfolded but it was one of the most well written and most eagerly anticipated ending that I have ever had to wait on but from start to finish this story kept me riveted to each page and rooting for a happy ending!!! Thank goodness it came through in the end but you had me sweating bullets up to the very end!!! Well done!!!
truly magnificent
This was so much more than just a story, more like a wee book and it captured me from the very first moment.
So very well done!
well written well adapted to real life and true love between 2 siblings !!!!!
Great story until you killed the cat; I quit reading right there.
Bill B757flyr at aol.com
What you did to Sooty, the cat, just about lost me.
You just about had me with watery eyes when Dirk stabbed Chelsea, good to read she made it through the trauma. Good to see Cielle is making a life for herself.
Great series not sure about the last book. Glad they finally got together and in the open.
"The smell of crisp apple and cinnamon..."I have that in my life at times, also, but not from my wife...she smells like other things.
But, I will remember this MAGNIFICENT series...the last chapter I skimmed over some parts of, did NOT care for Dirk's malevolent personality, glad he got what he deserved (tho' I do not like wishing that on another human being!)
Sequel in the future...maybe? Sure would like that!
'Til then, I will be waiting...
Loved it. You're a great story teller. A rare gift that not many have.
AFTER SO MANY CHAPTERS AND PARTS YOU COULD HAVE HAD A BETTER END FOR CHELSEA AND BEN
Good story, five stars. Long story (not a criticism), but made the ending seem kind of rushed. Felt as though this chapter could have ended when Dirk got hit by the car and still left room for a final chapter wrapping up everyone's life. In the end it's just my opinion and it was your story to tell in your way.