All Comments on 'The Moth's Song'

What's missing for me in most horror stories is what's also missing in most erotica: the humanity that makes it matter. This story is heartbreakingly human.

As a story of an unrecoverable friendship - and of love recognized too late - this is familiar on a visceral level. How you manage to accomplish that with a few penstrokes is typical of the way you create characters. Without a wasted syllable, you reveal what's essential to bind us to their fate.

The allegory doesn't distract from the Creepiness Factor here, which rates a resounding "Ewww." You've resisted the urge to take the horror too far, relying on the soft squishiness that makes bugs so repugnant. Vulnerable bodies, made invulnerable by the lack of self-awareness. The moths are Life pared to its essentials, without the disadvantages of any need more complicated than survival.

"...sex is a force like life and hunger and eating and being eaten. The wisdom of the insects, the knowledge of the moth."

This line alone is worth the price of admission:

"The house gave the impression of a grandmother tricked out in girl's clothes for a night on the town."

I don't usually care for the category, but I can say without hesitation that this is one of the best stories I've read on here.

(thermometer left at default and does not reflect my vote)

Exquisite storytelling involving all the senses. I'll never look at a moth in the same way!

After finishing your story I needed to take a deep breath. Very compelling and very repulsive at the same time. God, the image of that big bug is awful. I am thankful it's broad daylight right now. Hope it has warn off by the time I go to bed. *shudder*

Apart from a good Halloween story, I found the following passage beautiful, and very true.

"... It wasn't what we needed at the time, and so I was limp and she was dry ... it was a sign of how close we were that we could actually laugh about it."

Good luck.

I can see this made into a "Twilight Zone" episode - it's that creepy. Very cool story, with just the right amount of the "ick" factor.

Doctor M, you do not disapoint! This was everythig you could want in an erotic horror story. It was real, it was creepy, it was sex and love and and the biological urge to mate. AFter having read your interview, I noticed your use of light and shadow, and it especially gives its distinct quality to this 'most excellent' story. Also good use of hints and forshadowing throughtout. That's why your the doc! Cuz you know your stuff!!!

When I write erotic horror, I always come up thinking it's neither horrific nor erotic enough. After reading this, I'm dead sure of it.

This story is tight. Erotic and horrific. To read it is to know you are reading the work of a master storyteller with a kick-A** idea.

I'm in awe doc. Bravo.

I liked the basic idea, but it's less believable to use science to make a moth life sized, then to say make it 4 inches. Then, there are a lot of unanswered questions....where was the husband when the creature makes love to her? Is he watching? Why does he care? Does he care? Why did she put up with it for so long? Etc. A bit too bizarre for my taste, well written as always. Good luck!

Your writing is flawless. I shivered as I read and thanks to you I will never look at a moth in quite the same way.

A powerful piece of writing. I've never tried writing horror, erotic or otherwise. After reading this, I don't think I'll even bother trying!

of Stephen King, but with the Doctor's unique human touch. Truly horrifying to those of us who hate flying things!<shudder>

Doc,

To what all those super-complimentary, gushing, "high-five" PC's have said, I'll just add, me too.

Rumple

Doc, This was a truly wonderful piece of erotic horror. It made my skin crawl which is a factor I'd expect from a horror piece. Very nice work.

Beautiful written. Masterful story telling.

Neon

No more camping for me! Ever. I have always hated creepy, crawly fluttery things and now, with my stomach in my throat, I am absolutely terrified.

ugh

Very well written! shudders with a grimace Very well done indeed.

Catie/emerald

"I'll read one more and then call it a night." Then I read this one ... and now it's going to be a while before I can get to sleep! Eeeeeee! Shudder! Excellent!

Doc, if it were my job to pick a winner this would be it. It seems to me a perfect blend of horror and eroticism, truely creepy but very sensual (in a creepy way, which is just right for the genre). You write, as always, with easy power and authority and manage to be believeable. I don't know enough about genetics or gene-splicing in particular to question the believability of the story's "science," but I don't think that should matter--a good read should make its reader suspend disbelief and yours did that for me. I'm sorry I waited so long to comment and vote, but glad I had the chance to do both. :)

great in my humble perverse opinion u should have won.

I loved it, Doc! Thanks!

Superb piece of writing. Spine-chilling stuff.

Good concept, however I thought the sex scene between the "humans" could be more descriptive and creative. Also, the plot was tooo pridictable to be compaired to the likes of Steven King. All around an entertaining read.

That was goooooood!!!!!!!

Awesome awesome story. I'm going to have nightmares about the little suckers now.

Wow. ;-)

Excellent story. Beautifully written. One of those that makes me think, "Damn! Why didn't *I* write this?"

Please tell me you are publishing elsewhere? You are too good for this site. Try satinslippers.com?

This is spine crawlingly good. My first read in the erotic horror genre and it just makes me want to read more.

I am so glad to see that sometimes the best story *does* win! :) This is a stunning and spectacular piece of erotic horror. I can't imagine anything better appearing in a horror anthology. In fact, I've read far inferior published works. Your command of the language is superb and masterful. You carry me away, into and through, leaving me breathless and changed at the end. There are no words for what you can do with words.

Selena

Keep it up! Your good at this

This is just good horror period. The sex was good, but the idea of the moths just made my skin crawl. Thanks, and keep writing more like this!

Doctor, I bow in deep respect. That was a beautifully written little gem. I have read worse in the Year's Best collections of horror.

Sir, I beg you, keep writing.

I've heard it said that if you can take the sex out of the story and still have a horror story it's not erotic horror anymore. I always wondered a little if that was possible, because certainly it's easy enough to write something good and creepy, certainly it's easy enough to write something good and sexy.

Somehow you managed to actually write a story that fits the definition of erotic horror perfectly. You can't lose the sex because that's where the squick lies, and you can't lose the horror because that's where the sex lies and without both you just have a story about a not necessarily compatible couple on a farm and and old lover.

Whenever I consider the genre, I will think of this story and squirm a little uncomfortably and realize that yes... it can be done.

Noira said it better than I can; just wanted to add my admiration.

This really is good. I've seen it at the top of the lists here for a while and I don't know why it took me so long to get around to reading it, but it certainly deserves the credit it gets: It's sharp, cerebral, atmospheric, sincere, and, yes, creepy. It brings together a nice element of 70s-era Stephen King (back when he was submitting baffling short stories to pulp magazines) and 50s-era horror comics, with a somewhat more vulnerable human touch.

Criticisms: First, the proximity of Todd's comment about moth breeding and the allusion to their "pretty open" romance made it quite easy to predict the twist. Honestly, you could do without the latter. Further, I would say this story is a bit overwritten, particularly in the opening. We spill a lot of ink describing Dave and Faith's past relationship at a time when, actually, that's the *last* thing we need to hear about. Much better, I think, to allude to the things in their past up front and then let the reader's curiosity about it brew for a bit before diagramming what happened back in those days.

This would not only unburden the front third of the story, which right now is sagging under the weight of a whole lot of establishing prose, but would also increase the tension in the first half: Readers would be even more edgy about the situation in the old farmhouse if we do not at first know precisely how intimate our two leads have previously been and therefore how much of an incitement their shared past may be to the third party.

Those matters aside, this really is a superior story. So often these promising setups are disappointments, but I couldn't be more pleased with this. Hard to believe it's a decade old already.

Also: great title.

There's a lot of horror packed into a tight story. Absolutely excellent.

One of the best short stories I have ever read! It truly gave me the creeps!

Wow.

Really good read - the idea might had deserved some more tweaks, but I loved it.