by Lauren Hynde
...very worthwhile ideas, and an interrestingly restrained voice there.
Not quite sure what it aims for in the second half though. There might be cultural references lost on me. Still, a fable well worth the read.
The E eludes me. but the writing is imaginary and perhaps im needing to read a few more times to get it...
and a very funny contrast of ideas from one line to the next. Where's Lester Young? You couldn't put him in there somewhere? :D
xo
This is good, and certainly imaginative, but what's with the squirrel?
and its loosely written, which necessarily isn't a bad thing. but what i'm intrigued the most about is about the trees. in a way it reminds me of a song by the rock group rush called "the trees" of where the trees fight amongst themselves. so i see things based off that, such as the squirrels and the birds etc. there is more to this piece than what meets the eye. that is my take and i like it....don
Some good ideas but sub-optimally presented especially the last third.Couple of grammatical errors too - unlike you.Not your best work but I am assessing you by your own standards.
RDG
I entirely missed your E poem until I saw your comment on the board. I like that you do your own thing and you're original, L. :)
I am not a fan of prose poetry, but having started reading Rimbaud, both you and he have the ability to make it work.
As a fable it works and is apt also.
Eve probably liked it because of the squirrel.
I apologise for not leaving a name here. I have my reasons.
First, I love the title, which even captures the rhythm of the Blues. And what an intro to the heresy of government. I think I am right to see this as a political parable about power - the arrogance to legislate the seasons. And how subtle to have a minister 'without cabinet' rather than patently without culture or couth. From 'roots' to 'clouds,' and animals of land and air - how wonderful a fable is that can encompass the universe and the insults against it in such a short passage - Bravo! We live in this fable too much, but I hope some day we'll overcome the Blues, and merely relish the green of spring.
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,000 poems.
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