A Closet Homosexual

They kissed and nuzzled for a while as Robert felt the twangs of boy-girl attraction. This was among the most exciting thing he had ever felt. Their kissing went on for many long, lovely minutes before Melissa abruptly stopped and they held hands walking back to her car. After that Robert could not keep his mind off of Melissa. They began dating of sorts, knowing that Robert would be leaving at the end of the summer.

The grandparents were okay with Melissa coming around and taking Robert places. When they were alone together their kissing and petting were igniting the powerful flame of teenage hormones. Melissa let Robert's hands wander under her top, under her bra as Robert was able to touch the flesh of a girl's breast for the first time. Melissa's hand touched the naked flesh of Robert's penis, igniting even more arousal between the two.

When Robert got bold and put his hand inside her pants, she did not stop him as he touched a girl's vagina for the very first time in his life. That's as far as Melissa let him go this time, but that night in bed the scent of Melissa's pussy remained on his finger. Robert was beside himself with the scent which was not unlike the scent of his sister's soiled panties, only fresher and more powerful. That night Robert masturbated to a stunning, frantic ejaculation sniffing his finger. He sopped up his semen in his underwear hoping it would go undiscovered.

Right before Robert went back home, he got lucky. On the night before he was heading back home, Melissa 'gave it up'. The excitement Robert felt as his hard penis entered her pussy was unreal, after all the sex he had with boys, this was new and exciting feeling. He didn't last that long but the sensation of ejaculating into a vagina would remain with him. Back home, mother had put him in a new school away from the other boys who led him astray. It was in this last year of school he met Emily, she took an interest in him, they dated. They dated into the years in college, both going to the same school.

Unlike Melissa, it was quite some time into her relationship with Robert that Emily 'gave it up', perhaps two years in and only after she was certain that Robert was going to be a good prospect to marry her. Through courtship and marriage Robert's sex life with Emily was stable, standard and without kinkiness. Sex with Emily was doled out as she saw fit, as their life grew together. Robert was too busy in life, work and raising a family, to think about all the gay episodes of his teenage years.

Then as Emily's interest in sex got fainter and fainter, she kept downplaying it, putting off sex, telling Robert to 'behave', to chill. Pornography and masturbation began to fill the void. It was only a matter of time before gay porn crept into his life, into his mind. The demons that were long since locked away in darkness, forgotten and neglected, these demons crept back into Robert's life, rattling their cages, wanting out. Now the demons were out of their cages running free.

..........

As Robert walked into the living room displaying himself to Ben, he had no idea how Ben would react; he just knew that it felt more incredible to be femme like this for another male, than all his secretive masturbation to gay porn. Ben was more than a little surprised seeing Robert like this, having no idea Robert was gay, let alone this femme and faggy gay and this revealing. Robert tipsily wobbled over to Ben who stood to meet him. They clasped hands together and looked deeply into each other's eyes as they stood there.

"S-thee, I told you I was-th gay too," Robert whispered in a soft voice that involuntarily sounded more than a little feminine and very, very gay, inflected with a not so subtle lisp. "Thuprised?" Robert tingled being able to express his long-repressed homosexuality to another person.

"I had no idea," Ben countered. "No idea. You're beautiful."

With that, they pressed their lips together and began a soft "get to know you kiss" before the dam burst and they forcefully consummated a hungry homosexual kiss. The way he felt kissing another male confirmed to Robert that he was gay. Kissing another male always had made him feel feminine and Ben's masculinity turned Robert on like no female ever had. Ben grabbed Robert's sweet femme pantie clad ass as Robert threw his arms around Ben's neck and was soon tonguing his ear. Robert's cock ached in his cute pink and orange panties as Ben slid a hand over the panties in front feeling for the hard penis. Ben inspected the little treasure on display for him, pulling Robert's stiff penis out from the stunning pink panties he was wearing, stroking it firmly.

This was hot! No, Ben had no idea. No idea he'd be playing with such a smooth, hairless, femme plaything. Truth be known, regardless of his age, Robert was very much a 'twink'. An eager, horny, faggy, boyish, femme, grown twink. No idea. Yes, Ben was gay and knew it too. He was a masculine 'top', but he'd never had anything so luscious as the boy toy now pawing at his cock. Many of Ben's homosexual encounters were run of the mill, male on male generic gay sex. This was fucking hot. This was exciting to have a slender, slinky fem boy, acting so girlish, like a fairy from an erotic dream. A lithe faggy hottie, a mere 140 pounds to his 210. As he pulled on Robert's lovely hard penis and they kissed hungrily again. Robert pawed at Ben's very hard cock in his pants. He loved the feel of a cock getting hard at his touch.

All of Robert's pent up homosexual desires were finally running free. He was gay. He was a homosexual, a closet homosexual. He knew that in his heart, he could not deny it any longer and accepting and expressing it here with Ben was a dream he never dared to dream. Again, Robert felt Ben's cock through his pants. It was hard. Gawd, Robert loved feeling it. He wanted it.

Dropping to the floor Robert fondled at Ben's cock through his pants like so many beta fags do to studly 'Daddy' types in all the pornos Robert loved masturbating to. Now he had the real thing as he single-mindedly unfastened Ben's pants as Ben unbuttoned his shirt. Robert pawed at Ben's hard cock through the underwear, eager to touch its flesh as Ben discarded his shirt.

Pulling it free, Ben's cock was hard as stone as Robert jacked on it. Admiring it, lusting for a taste of it after denying himself all these years, Ben's cock felt so good to touch. It was a handsome manly cock with a big fat helmet head and rather thick and veiny. Robert had done a magnificent job making it very, very hard. He mashed his face into Ben's hard handsome hairy penis and balls, drinking in its intoxicating manly testosterone laden scent. Then without hesitation Robert sunk his mouth over Ben's cock. It had been over twenty years since he had tasted cock. All the shame and denial from mother and family, being heterosexual with Emily, all of this vaporized as he finally was sucking cock again, something he loved since he first tasted cock so long ago.

Robert sucked on Ben's cock. He sucked it with such a hungry, obsessive passion that it very much surprised Ben. With his mouth full of cock, bobbing and licking and sucking, Robert knew. He knew he was a cocksucker. All fags, betas, fairies, queers, bottoms and many crossdressers know what this means. They know that sucking cock is a desire, a sensation, an obsession that guides their inner being, a beacon to their true sexuality. The taste, the smell, the sensation of sucking cock was driving Robert mad with desire. He was in total surrender to his homosexuality.

He was so very pleased to finally be sucking cock again, that inside his mind he wanted to be dancing around in high heels and panties in a room full of horny men, showing them how sexy he was, what fag he was, cock after cock after cock. It had been so long ago that he had sucked Jeremy's and Victor's cocks and circumstances drove him away from cock.

Now cock was back in his life and more importantly back in his mouth. Nom, nom, nom, Robert sucked Ben's cock greedily going as deep as he could with every gulp. The taste and nasty wonderful stench of cock urged him on. Being in panties and high heels sucking cock, he never knew he could be this aroused, this turned on, feeling this sexy, feeling this gay. Sex with Emily gave him 1/100th of the excitement he now felt.

Ben pulled Robert up and kissed him ferociously. "I gotta pee, be right back," he whispered as he pulled off his pants and removed his socks and shoes. When Ben returned, Robert was sitting on the couch and got up to meet Ben. He loved the sensation of being in high heels standing there as they renewed their ravenous kissing and pulling on each other's cocks. Slipping his hand into the back of Robert's stunning silky pink and orange panties Ben began to finger Robert's tight hole. Robert did have a cute sexy butt and with Ben's fingering his hole Robert was not sure if he had ever been harder.

They collapsed onto the couch melting into one another. Robert lay prone across the couch with his face on Ben's cock as Ben sat up and played with Robert's ass as Robert resumed sucking Ben's cock. "That is one fine little ass," Ben thought to himself as he played with it. In a spat of playfulness Ben swatted a brisk little spank on one then the other cheek, serving to only make Robert devour Ben's cock even more eagerly. After a few more rather hard slaps on his tushie Robert climbed up onto Ben's lap throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him madly.

"I love, love, love this," Robert whispered in Ben's ear. "This is so hot! I love your cock."

With that he slid back in front of Ben on the floor and took Ben's nice hard cock back in his mouth. He did love this. He loved being nearly naked in panties for a man. He loved sucking cock. It had been so long, so many years and all the stigma that he shouldn't do it, that he should be straight, when he really wasn't, was vaporizing into a pink cloud of cock sucking lust.

When something so powerful is imprinted into your sexuality at a younger age, it's there with you for life. Thundering carnal, sexual experiences that dwell in the physiology of the body and the psyche of the mind will always remain. They can be denied, hidden for years, locked in dark cages, but they won't ever leave you, they will never go away. These sensations in your mind and in your body are stretched and stamped by these experiences; you can never go back and undo what it has done to your psyche, done to your body and return to the time before it happened. There is no time machine. Robert embraced the release from the shackles of so many years, so much subjugation and denial. A new bloom was blossoming on the rose.

"Talk dirty to me," Robert whispered sexily, momentarily taking Ben's stiff penis out of his warm wet mouth and looking doe eyed at Ben. "Call me names."

"Such an eager little cocksucker, aren't you," Ben responded, playing along. "Horny little cocksucker loves Daddy's cock, don't you Sweetie?" Robert emphatically nodded affirmative as Ben's cock bobbed in his mouth.

"I love your cock," Robert then responded. "Tastes divine." It did taste divine as Robert then continued to devour it.

"A little sissy faggot. Wanting everyone to think you're straight. But you love sucking cock, don't you? Little fag hiding in the closet, you love getting out, you love being gay." Ben's words were like music to Robert's ears.

"I'm s-tho fucking gay," Robert responded with a lisp. "Thuch a wittle faggot." He knew it was true. "S-tho fucking gay," as he went back to sucking Ben's cock.

Faggot, cocksucker, little fairy, gay, sissy, homo, cock hungry little bitch, naughty little fag, closet queer; these were all the words and more that rained down on Robert as he sucked Ben's cock. Frenzied, zealous, impassioned, enthusiastic, manic, distraught, compulsive, disturbed, self-absorbed, these might be the words to describe the manner in which Robert was sucking Ben's hard, hairy, engorged cock. Ben was quite pleased.

Like Robert, neither of them expected that this would be happening this evening. Ben ran his hands through Robert's short hair as Robert lavishly sucked his cock. He loved Ben's touch knowing that Ben was enjoying his cock sucking efforts. Deeper Robert went on the nice hard cock, he wanted to throat it, to show his dedication. He managed to get the whole thing down but gagged a little and came up for air but soon returned in a steady rhythm going down as deep and evenly as he could, actually quite proud of his cock `sucking. More than enjoying it, Ben was getting close. His moans and hums told Robert this, who in turn pulled his mouth off and mashed his face into Ben's hairy ball sac, drinking in the testosterone laden aroma while jacking on Ben's quite slippery cock.

"I love thucking cock," Robert beamed. "I love thucking your cock Daddy," he cooed in a faggy lisp.

He loved calling Ben "Daddy", emulating all the horny twinks who sucked "Daddy's" cock all the years he masturbated to gay porn. This was better than porn, better than masturbating. This was the real thing as he returned Ben's cock to his mouth hoping for his reward.

"You suck cock so sweetly Honey," Ben went on. "I can tell you want it. Suck Daddy's cock Sweetie, suck Daddy's cock," Ben told his horny little cocksucker running both hands through Robert's hair. "Be a good little cocksucker. You're gonna make Daddy cum."

Holding on to Robert's head, the ejaculation of semen burst from Ben's throbbing penis squirting warm cum into Robert's cock hungry mouth with Ben's moans and "oh fuck yes! oh fuck yes!" muttering forth. Tasting Ben's semen egged Robert on in his hunger for cock and it's doubtful anyone could be as into sucking cock as he was. Slurping and sucking, licking and kissing, sniffing on Ben's cock, Robert did a masterful job urging every bit of pleasure and every taste of semen out of Ben's quite handsome cock. Robert then knew what every true cocksucker knows, that sucking cock always tastes wonderful, but cock tastes the best right after it ejaculates in your mouth, then when you swallow and lick down all the cum.

Ben's cock was still firm when Robert finally pulled off and stood up to show off his body and his rigid penis tenting in the silky bright pink panties. Just being able to show off like this, to have another person see him like this to express his homosexuality, this made Robert feel even more gay.

"I'm thuch a fag. Don't ya think? I love being a fag," Robert said with a bit of an animated lisp in his voice, standing up in the high heels, hands seductively on his hips as he did a sexy little wiggle, his hard penis tenting the lovely pink panties. "S-tho fucking gay," exasperating in finally being able to express his true sexuality and flopping his wrists theatrically. "S-tho fucking gay." His demons were dancing around the caldron of Robert's homosexuality and shouting chants of encouragement, urging him on.

He loved affirming this out loud as a very amused and pleased Ben leaned forward and took Robert's cock in his mouth making Robert's knees buckle a bit at the sensation. A man's mouth is a priceless sensation on another man's cock, such a horny and other worldly sexual feeling that gay men love, no woman's mouth could ever come close to equaling. Emily was never very keen on cock sucking and had certainly never allowed Robert to cum in her mouth, let alone swallow it. Robert enjoyed having his cock in Ben's mouth, the masculinity of Ben's mouth made him feel gay and sexy, but just the overall experience of homosexual contact made him just happy to be there as he collapsed onto Ben.

Robert climbed onto Ben's lap throwing his arms around his neck for another hungry kiss as Ben slipped a hand into the back of Robert's panties and a finger between his cheeks finding the tight hole. This made Robert squirm as he humped his penis into Ben's other hand. Just like old times, sucking off a guy and then getting masturbated as a reward. Did not take Robert long as he ejaculated all over Ben, Ben's hand and his silky pink panties. They melted together in a warm semen coated, sticky embrace before Ben led Robert by the hand to bed. Robert still had the lovely pink panties on, adorned now with blotches of damp semen stains. He wobbled in the high heels as Ben led him to bed.

With all the booze and the warm release of their ejaculations sleep found them quickly. Snuggled and sated in the arms of a male lover Robert was enveloped by Ben's masculine presence. In the morning Ben groggily got up and used the bathroom and then climbed back in bed nuzzling and kissing Robert who in turn went to the bathroom still wearing the pink panties. Before returning to bed, he went to the front bathroom and fetched the dress. It felt so sexy to put it on he did not care anymore about the scent, it was a dress! It just felt so right to feel it flutter about him as he sashayed back to Ben in the bedroom and put the high heels back on.

It was something he had longed to do again, to present himself as feminine to another male. It was so many years ago that he had done this for another male, so long ago that while doing this it always created such a thrilling stir in his loins. Those sensations and these feelings were snuffed out by mother and by marriage, being told it was wrong. But now he was released again from the shackles that had denied him of this sensation for so long, it felt so right as Ben sat up to receive him.

Robert stood by the bed in the dress and high heels as Ben reached under the dress feeling Robert's sexy smooth body, feeling Robert's penis tenting in the silky pink panties. Sex first thing on a Saturday morning? If Robert ever woke in the morning horny with Emily, she never would have accepted a sexual attempt in morning, she would smirk and rebuff him. With her, sex had to be planned, be staged, an activity to be crossed off the list, no real joie de vivre.

This was exciting to be the object of someone's sexual desires as Ben pulled Robert on to him in bed as they melted into each other. Kissing, nuzzling, pulling on each other's cock it did not take long for Robert's mouth to find Ben's hard cock and enthusiastically suck cock again. Ben pulled off Robert's dress and pulled down the panties. Ben was enamored with Robert's cute little butt as Robert suckled like a babe on Ben's cock. Robert's ass looked so cute with the panties halfway down and the high heels on his feet. Ben massaged and caressed the ass, fingered the tight hole making Robert squirm and suck even more hungrily. Without warning Ben slapped both cheeks at once with a single spank.

"Such a pretty little ass." It was. "So, fucking pretty," Ben mused. "Who know you were a cocksucker?" as Ben let fly a few more spanks. "Who knew?"

"I knew," Robert gasped, pulling off for a moment. "I love your cock."

With that Robert pulled off the panties and climbed naked (save for the high heels) in Ben's arms as the kissing and caressing resumed. Frotting cocks together as they kissed in animated hungry lovers passion, Robert then reached his face back down for Ben's cock. Ben turned on his side to face Robert's cock as they began a homosexual 69. Ben's mouth felt good on his penis and this served to make Robert's eagerness for sucking cock increase, as if he needed any more stimulus. This was an indulgent, luscious cock sucking sixty-nine as they both licked, sniffed, kissed and sucked upon each other's penis. Sucking cock while you get your cock sucked is indulgent, luscious, just such a fabulous gay feeling.

Robert's gay sensations were about to increase many fold. Ben rolled on his back and pulled Robert in place on top facing Robert's anus and genitals with Robert wholeheartedly now going down on Ben's cock from above. When Robert felt Ben's tongue sneak between his cheeks and feel the firm warm wetness plow into his tight bung hole he was beside himself with this new pleasure. He loved having his ass pussy played with, fingered, toys inserted up his butt, but he never dreamed he could feel something so divine as Ben's tongue worked its magic up his butt. This is certainly nothing Emily would have ever done or even thought about doing.