AMA - The Boyfriend Ch. 001-010

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know."

"We shouldn't go on this trip," I said. She didn't respond. "We should be heading back home, and finding a marriage counsellor so we can figure out if we can salvage this. Salvage our trust. Anything."

I pulled the truck back off of the highway, onto the flat shoulder, skidding to a stop. I turned and I reached over, taking her smaller hand in mine. "Cassidy, the only reason we are going on this trip still is because I know you think this needs to happen. Iknow you, even if right now it doesn't feel like I ever knew you at all." That made her start silently crying again, but I kept going. "Do you need this trip to happen?"

She nodded.

"I don't know if I can sleep with someone else," I said.

"You don't have to. But I want you to," she said. "Anyone you want. You deserve it. You deserve to feel wanted like that. To be worshipped like that. To know what an amazing, sexy, desirable person you are."

"I was and did," I said. "With you."

"I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"I know you are," I sighed.

We sat there, not five miles from the last spot we'd pulled over. Progress, I guess - I was still holding her hand, and she was squeezing my fingers desperate for me not to let go.

"Will you please fuck me?" she suddenly asked.

"What?"

"I want to feel you. I- I want you to fuck me. Before we go any further, I want you to fuck all your anger and hate into me. You've never hate-fucked me before, and I want you to right now."

"That doesn't seem like a good idea," I said.

"I want you to pound me into this seat," she said. "And I want you to grab my tits as hard as you can, and I want you to choke me and slap me. You can even fuck my ass raw - it'll hurt like fuck, but I feel like I need that. I need you to make me hurt, just a bit of the way I hurt you."

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. It was... tempting.

"How many girls and women did you cheat on me with?" I asked.

"Somewhere in the high three hundreds is my best guess," Cassidy said.

"Jesus fuck," I exhaled. "How did you never get an STD, or pass one to me?"

"The App," she said. "You get points for raising scores, and you use those points to buy perks and upgrades for yourself or other people. One of the early ones I bought was called Immuno Suppressant and it made it so I couldn't get STDs, and I was less likely to get sick in general. I bought that one for you during second year at university, by the way. Right after you had that nasty cold before exams and I realized I didn't ever want to see you that sick again."

I shook my head, not wanting to try and figure out if I'd been less sick since then, but remembering the way she had doted on me that week. But then, how many girls had she shared herself with in between taking care of me? "What's the most number of women you had sex with at one time?" I asked.

"Twenty-three," Cassidy said, and I looked over in shock. She shrugged, embarrassed. "It was sort of a lesbian orgy with the cheerleaders at the end of their season in high school. I'd already been with most of them before then though."

"Who is someone that would surprise me?" I asked.

"Ms Phillips, the summer after we graduated," Cassidy said.

"Really?" I asked, a little shocked. Ms Phillips had been a Chemistry teacher at the high school and had been a very chubby woman.

Cassidy nodded. "Her and Mrs Andrews. At the same time."

"Fuck," I said. Mrs Andrews had been one of the gym teachers. Not exactly a hotty, but certainly my teenage brain had imagined her sexually a few times.

"Phillips lost a bunch of weight over the next couple of years," Cassidy said. "Almost a hundred pounds, last time we were home. She's pretty cute now. Do you think you'd want to fuck her?"

I shook my head. We'd never had this sort of conversation before. Cassidy had slept with classmates, with teachers, she'd talked about women from the neighbourhood- "Wait," I said. "Please tell me you didn't-"

"Never guys, never family," Cassidy said. "Not that your sister made it easy on me, but I stopped it before it went anywhere. And we both have a couple of cousins that I almost went after, but decided it was too close."

"Surprise me again," I said.

"Vicky Wallgreen," Cassidy said.

"Really?" I asked. Vicky had been a snobby rich girl, and a Jesus Freak to boot. And she'd dated Brandon Whateverhisnamewas all through high school. They might have actually gotten married.

"Bent her over the counter in her kitchen and fucked her with a strap on, then made her eat my ass," Cassidy said. "She'd been pretty pissed when she found me 69ing her Mom but that shut her up."

"Come here," I said, as I unzipped my pants. My cock was hard as fuck, and I fished it out.

"Thank you," Cassidy said, getting up and leaning over the centre dash, immediately dropping her mouth to my cock.

"Ngh," I grunted as her lips slid over my cock head and she quickly began bobbing up and down, taking me deeper into her mouth. I quickly gathered up her hair - she'd recently dyed it for the trip in teal and blue waves, but she knew I liked it longer on her and it was grown out past the tops of her shoulders. I pulled her hair back out of her face, pinning it to the back of her head clenched in my first, and started forcing her down, taking control of the blowjob.

We'd had dominant sex before. Played games with each other. Cassidy had an amazing mouth and loved giving me blowjobs -Did she enjoy licking pussy as much as my cock? The errant thought made me grit my teeth, and forced her down, holding her there with my cock pushing at the back of her throat, but she didn't gag even though I didn't go for the deep throat I knew she could do.

I pulled her up and her sunglasses fell right off her face, and she met my gaze with her eyes watering. Her makeup had been running and smudged out a long time ago now, wiped away into the paper towels along with the rounds of tears, so I was looking at the version of Cassidy that I loved the most. Sure, she was a wizard with makeup. She could change the way her facial structure looked, could accent her eyes, or cheekbones, or lips. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she knew how to give herself a Star Trek-style alien forehead ridge or something. But this Cassidy, when her eyes were naturally a little narrower, when her cheeks weren't so defined and maybe even a little puffy, when her lips were bare - this wasmy Cassidy. The one she didn't post online as a cosplayer. The one her followers didn't interact with, that guys and girls didn't fawn over. This was the Cassidy that had always been mine.Except, had she?

Cassidy was panting, mouth pursed and open, her spit trailing down as drool to my cock. "Upgrades, you said. Did you get rid of your gag reflex?"

She nodded. "I tried to deep throat you and almost threw up in your lap, remember? I told you I practised, but I bought a perk."

I pushed her face down again onto my cock, and she sucked it in. I pushed her lower, and she swallowed my dick into her throat, and I just held her down there as she kept swallowing on it over and over.

When I went to pull her up so she could breathe, she resisted and brought her hand back and held mine in her hair, urging me to keep her down. So I did, and she used her tongue on my shaft and slid it down as far as she could.

And she stayed down, for longer and longer. And her tongue stopped moving.

She jerked once, and I realized she was passing out and pulled her up and off of my cock. "Cassidy!" I shouted, and slapped her face lightly to make sure she was waking up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she cried.

"Don't you fucking dare do that again," I said. "You don't get to do that to me."

"I just wanted you to know I would do it," she sobbed. "That I'd choke on your cock until I passed out if you want."

There was a darkness inside me, a dark shadow that wanted to do just that. To feel her do that. I knew it was my rage - it was so foreign to me that I could at least identify that it wasn't the usual me.

"We don't do that to each other, especially not without talking about it first," I growled.

"I'm sorry, just- I want to keep going. Let me keep going?" she pleaded.

"Fine," I said. "But this is a facefucking. This isn't a blowjob. And Cassidy? We arenot having sex. Not until I decide I can forgive you. Blowjobs and handjobs only, got it?"

Cassidy nodded. "Thank you," she said.

"Get to work," I said. My anger scared me a little. My willingness to treat this woman I had loved unconditionally as nothing more than a sex toy, for my gratification alone.

She got to work. She lowered her face and took my cock in her mouth again, and began vigorously blowing me, fucking her face on my cock. I let go of her hair and pulled up her crop top, revealing her bra. I pulled on the elastic and let it snap down hard - childish and petty, and she whimpered. I undid the snap and she let me move her around until I'd pulled it off from under her shirt. Then I reached under her, into her shirt, and groped her tits roughly. Cassidy was slim - she prided herself in having grown into her body. She'd been a beanstalk in middle school and early high school, and during senior year she'd filled out. Her tits were a large B cup - I knew that well, having bought her a couple dozen lingerie sets over the years. She loved modeling them for me.

Did she model them for other people, too?

I found her nipples and pinched them, and she squeaked and shuddered as she deepthroated my cock again.

What I was doing couldn't be pleasurable for her. I mauled her tits, tweaking her nipples. I reached down her back with both hands and wrapped my fingers into the leg holes of her jean shorts, yanking them high and hard until as much of her ass was exposed as possible, and then I spanked her. Hard.

I spanked her a good half dozen times, raining blows onto her ass cheek. I stopped myself before I went too far, but I could see a bright red handprint on her pale ass cheek.

"I can't believe my fiance was a pussy-hunting slut," I said, gathering up her hair again. "Nearly four hundred women? Are you fucking kidding me? Four hundred cunts you cheated on me with. Four hundred!" She was slamming her face down on my cock again - I checked myself to make sure I wasn't doing it to her. She was going hard enough I was worried she was going to break her nose.

"Fuck," I grunted, and didn't give her any more warning than that as I started cumming. It hit the back of her throat, and when she realized she started swallowing, sucking on me like my cock was a straw, slurping as much of me up as she could.

I released her hair, and afterwards she bathed my entire cock with her tongue, cleaning it tenderly. She carefully put it away back into my shorts and zipped me back up, and sat up and pressed her lips together, searching my face. "Thank you," she said, earnestly and deeply.

That look, that desperate look to see forgiveness, nearly broke me.

I turned to the road and hit the signal that I wanted to merge back on the highway. She sat back in her seat, hesitating as her ass hit the seat and I wasn't sure if I was worried or hoped that I'd bruised her butt. She buckled back in, and I merged onto the highway.

"Any time you want," she said into the quiet of the drive.

"You've never told me no before," I said.

"I know, but I never said it either," she said. "Robbie, I love you, with all my heart. I know it's hard to be OK right now, but I need to say that to you. Over and over. I love you. I love you. I love you."

I swallowed, wanting and not wanting to say them back. "I know," I said instead. "I know."

Chapter 3

It was a quiet hour of driving before we were closing in on Lake Powell. The trip from Vegas, where Cassidy and I had moved together after college, was supposed to take just under four and a half hours, dipping through southern Utah and northern Arizona, but with our stops we were closer to five and a half.

"Why cosplaying?" I asked. We hadn't talked much since the facefucking - I'd asked a few questions about the App, and she'd answered with what answers she could give me. Points accumulated as you raised scores with people and met certain thresholds. She'd only ever gotten Love points from me, my family, and her family. The couple of times early on in her cheating that her affair partners - I corrected her on that the first time she said 'one of the girls' and she accepted it - started to gain Love points, and she distanced herself quickly. Another line she drew in the sand for herself. All of her points had come from Affection and Lust scores.

Cassidy turned to look at me and scrunched her eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"

"After you dropped out of college and took that job at the hotel, that's when you started your social media stuff and cosplaying," I said. "Has the App been helping you with that, too? Even if you weren't using it?"

"Mm-mm," she shook her head. "The App only activates when I meet someone or interact with them in person. If someone sees a picture of a video with me on social, or even if we send emails or have a phone call, there's no effect. I took the night shift at the hotel because I wouldn't be interacting with many people and wanted to be focused on you, and then I started the social media stuff because I knew I-" she stopped and took a deep breath. "Look, you've heard my sister say for years she felt like I was living my life with cheat codes. It always pissed me off, but it was because it wastrue. And I didn't like it. Doing social media stuff? Every like, or follower, or subscriber - it's all because of Me. Not the App. The App can't make my cosplay outfits look cooler; at least, I don't think it can. I put in the work, and the internet decides if it was worthwhile. No outside influence."

"That makes a roundabout sort of sense," I said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "And I love you."

I exhaled and pressed my lips together, unable to decide if my heart was hurting or surging every time she said it.

We drove into Page, a town on the south end of the winding Lake Powell, crossing over a bridge that spanned the Colorado River and looked out at the Glen Canyon Dam. Usually, this would have been the time that Cassidy would want me to pull over so that we could take a picture, but neither of us was really in the mood.

Just a little way into the town I found a liquor store and pulled in. We both hopped out since the plan had always been that we'd pick up our drinks for the week here in Page - food was being organized by the woman who organized the trip, and we'd paid money ahead for it.

As we walked into the store from the parking lot, I noticed that Cassidy hadn't bruised, thank God, but she did look like she had a red welt in the shape of some fingers crawling out from her daisy dukes onto the top of her thigh.

Inside the store, I quickly went to the back and got a case of Heineken for myself, and a case of a cider Cassidy liked, while she stayed near the front of the store to fetch the liquors we liked for mixing and some wine from the racks. As I walked back carrying the two heavy boxes of bottles, I saw Cassidy had a freezer door open and was selecting some mixers to go with the vodka and was slightly bent over at the waist. Beyond her, a greasy-looking guy was lounging at the counter working a toothpick in his teeth and staring at Cassidy's ass.

A surge of anger rolled through me, but I managed to quash it.

Cassidy stood up, slipping two mixes into the basket she was carrying and turned to walk to the counter with me. As I glanced over at her I noticed that her crop top was showing off two obvious nipple bumps.

Now, usually, this would embarrass the hell out of her and she would want me to signal that it was happening. On any normal day I would, discreetly, and she'd either use me to block or she'd head out to the car.

But I was still pissed off, and resentful. And even though I knew it was petty, I didn't say anything.

As I approached the counter, the store clerk flicked his toothpick away behind the counter and stood up, obviously eyeing Cassidy. I set the two cases I was carrying on the counter and turned, taking the basket of bottles from my fiance.

She smiled at me, her eyes hidden behind her sunglasses but I could still see the sadness in that smile. The guilt. The grief. The self-loathing.

Fuck, I was being a child.

I fished the truck keys out of my pocket and handed them to her. "I'll take care of this," I said. "Go get the gate unlocked and the cooler ready."

""Kay," she nodded, and I could tell she wanted to go up on her tiptoes and give me a peck on the lips, but she hesitated. She wasn't sure if that would be OK, and that killed me. It fucked with my head. Made me feel like the bad guy. But I wasn't.

I turned back to the counter, and she sauntered out of the store.

"Nice piece of ass," the store clerk said, watching her go through the front windows. "Looks like you had to teach her who's boss a bit, eh?"

I drilled holes into the guy with my glare. "Hey," I said, making him look away from Cassidy and back to me. He took a step back when he saw my eyes. "If any more than 'thank you' comes out of your mouth before I leave this store, I am inches from starting to break shit. Glass, bones, whatever. I'm thatfucking on edge. So ring up the drinks."

He looked like he wanted to say something, but I started unloading the basket, not quite slamming the bottles onto the countertop, and he swallowed and looked down, starting to do his job. He rang me through and bagged the bottles, and I paid.

"Thank you," he said, as I put the paper bag of bottles on top of the two cases of beer and hefted the entire thing.

"Get a fucking life," I grunted and backed my way out of the store.

Cassidy could see the look on my face as I crossed the parking lot to her. She was standing near the open tailgate of my truck, and she got concerned quickly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fucked in the head," I said. "He was staring at your ass, and you were poking out, and then he said some dumb shit when you left. I'm jealous and pissed and feel like an ass for not warning you about your nipples."

"Fuck, I forgot to put my bra on," Cassidy said. "Tiger, I'm so sorry I forgot. That's my fault."

She hadn't called me by her nickname for me since the conversation. I'd dressed up as Spider-Man at school for Halloween our senior year, and she'd dressed up as Mary Jane Watson. She played it up, calling me Tiger, and hadn't ever stopped.

"No, I'm the one who didn't tell you," I said. "And I almost threw a punch at that guy when he opened his idiot mouth. That's on me."

"No, that's on me too," she said. "You've never been the jealous type. Now you know, and things are different."

I swallowed and took a breath. Was I really jealous? I knew there wouldn't be any shot in hell of something happening between Cassidy and that dude. Iknew that. "I think... I think I'm not jealous," I said. "I think I'm feeling... this is going to sound kind of fucked up, but I'm possessive? I don't feel like you're mine the way you were before, and that guy just looking at you..."

She hugged me, burying her face into my chest as she started crying again and grabbed my shirt, clinging to me.

I hugged her back, softly at first, but then harder until I was squeezing her.

We just stood there for a good five minutes as the tears flowed, me quietly and her softly sobbing.

Finally, we let go and started moving again, getting the alcohol bottles into the cooler and the cases tucked into the truck bed. Before I shut the gate and pulled one of Cassidy's luggage forward, the one I knew she had regular clothes in. "Your, ah, your ass is pretty red," I said. "You should probably cover that up."