All Comments on 'Doing My Brother Ch. 02'

This so fucking hot Brett, more and more please and soon, like yesterday. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's UK.

only sex and lust but no love.different from ur other stories.not my cup of tea

I think the story is a nice idea but your writing needs work. Very often you'll have action going, but cut into it with some exposition and it disrupts the flow of the story. Find a more natural way of inserting exposition, maybe use dialogue. The other issue you have with exposition is you tend to over-explain character behavior. Let the characters--mainly Julie--react naturally, and trust your audience to be intelligent enough to understand their motivations.

Lastly, as of now your characters are flatly drawn. There's very little that we know about them beyond how much they like sex. If you give them more dimension, we--the readers--will be more invested in the story.

Best of luck!

And I agree with the reader who asks for lots of cunt lapping. Let's keep in mind that the best cunt is always family cunt. Daughter's cunt, sister's cunt, and especially mom's warm wet ever-loving cunt. Plenty of boys are total sex maniacs when it comes to their own mother's beautiful incomparable perfect and unique in all the world cunt.

Here we are already the middle of March and no third chapter... Hope you intend to complete this story line. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the story.

I hope you get back to this story... I was looking forward to Keith's providing his services to his sister's party guests, and ultimately to fulfilling his sister's secret desires...

Now 13 months after Chapter Two, we readers fear that the fun narrative might not be extended. Save us from such tragedy!

Can we get a part 3

continue this series

Good you cut this one. Just feels like you took every sexual word and tried to make a story.