All Comments on 'Island of Despair'

Nice and well written.

5 stars

Hm, I would have preferred a happy ending between Chase and Maria and Charles being punished by his daughter by abandonning him. However, with Charles money it won't be hard for him to find her even in europe.

Liked the setup. Not fond of the ending

Super weak! He didn't do ANYTHING?????!!!!!!!!

Not one of your best

That was hard to get through. The arc has a 3 page plateau before the story just ends.

A good yarn, a little longer than necessary, but while entertaining, it left me a little flat... I really thought it a great characterization of HollyWEIRD people, and thus really disliked everyone, but it still missed the emotional connection

Well written and engaging, but I am conflicted about the storyline. Chase wasn't a good guy, don't get me wrong, his wife cheated on him and the father in law was over the top. But the way he treated the kid just bothers me. That boy will have issues. I am not saying he should have reconciled with Maria, but treating someone like shit and hating the for 6 years! With all that anger he held onto, it's just cancer and I can't see him realistically letting it go

Thanks for writing

The writing was good. I kept hoping through each of the 6 pages that the actual storyline and characters would improve but, sadly they didn't.

Meh, too long and convoluted, with characters that are horrid to each other and not a one is likeable. 4*, wish I could give 3.5 stars.

Enjoyed your story, well done! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I couldn't find anything to like about it.

When I first started reading the story I thought to myself oh my God does this guy ever write anything under 6 pages? What a windbag. But as a story developed I began to realize that you did a really good job in portraying the husband's rage over the situation that he has been forced into when he has done nothing wrong.

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The second half of the story is really just about the father-in-law's overpowering interference in the so-called marriage and how it is making things worse between them not better.

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The ending is a really nice surprise and a twist and they ultimate form of revenge against the father-in-law and his Twisted sense of power and entitlement.

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AUTHOR.. . It's just my opinion but I think this is probably your best story to date.

I read the first page and the last only, and had absolutely no trouble following the story. That’s not a compliment.

Won’t be cooking it’s gas if the current administration gets its way! LOL But you may be closer than I am anymore, but one of the reasons that everyone working on a series in HW want to go at least a number of seasons was that you needed to have 100 (it used to be) shows to syndicate it and show reruns. And especially up front, the residuals for the actors were an important part of their revenue streams.

Who knows if getting his wife to disappear with the Norseman was much of a punishment to the parents, but it worked in the story!

BORED TO FUCKING TEARS. Good lord, who needs Ambien when you're posting? You know if servant111 likes it, it's a flaming trash pile.

A sad and finally empty story. Oddly enough, Maria ends up the least unpleasant character. Chase is an ass.

Well written but I’m left with a feeling of meh.

Very creative story. I enjoyed it quite a lot and was surprised. Keep them coming.

Great work! A good story, with new ideas and interesting plot, without clichès.

Lots of twists and turns in this one. Didn’t see the ending coming. Good character development and good ending.

Very interesting intricate story. Thanks.

Saucy and entertaining.

too pathetic to comment on... 5 pages of utter helpless misery!

Nope! She didn't suffer enough, neither did the "stud"! The Hollywood media machine would have minced them and the bastard father - but the MC just went along with the bastard, limp-dick and slut!

Good story just like a B movie…Kinda wished Chase would have gotten back with Maria, she did have remorse….. But then Actors are very shallow people.

A lot more depth than the majority of the two pagers we get in this category. Thanks

Agreed with most commenters. I felt the “meh” as well. To be fair, you did warn us in the foreword. What I did like was the ending. I thought it was too long also, until I got to the ending and realized it wouldn’t have been half as good if you didn’t flesh out these characters as you did. 5* effort. I’m also going to go back and give “Reader’s Block” another try.

doesn't seem complete

Wow, all of these characters are completely unlikable.

WOW. What a story !!!

I spent my time between loving and hating the situations, the characters.

Chase and Maria find themselves trapped and see behavior emerge completely opposite to who they are and what they expected.

Maria, from a lively young woman, a little capricious and selfish but full of rhythm and life, has become an empty shell, without real hope, having lost her hopes.

Chase, from a good little guy, handsome and rather very nice, brings out a darkness, a hardness and an inflexibility in contrast to his carefree character.

In the end, I vote for 5⭐ for the end, for this outcome where I think the two are finally out of their prison, where they can start something else again, but I have the feeling that they will never be satisfied, never completely happy but at the same time they will be better apart than together.

And yes, life is Not Disney.

He's not a White Knight, and he's not a Princess.

I think he was stupid, I can understand him being mad at Dak and especially his father-in-law but to not be able to find some forgiveness for his wife and to treat the child so badly shows hes not much of a man or human being. But what can you expect from Hollywood types. What he should of is burned the agreement his father-in-law had drawn up and demand one to his liking. I would of wanted his father-in-law to pay me $1 million a year to stay married to her, for Dak to leave America and to stay away from me and my family forever. For my father-in-law to also stay away from me and my family for the rest of his life. And finally, my wife to give up her career and be a stay at home mother and wife and to have a whole lot more kids, by me.

Good story. Great job showcasing the MCs frustration.

Gee! A story in which the MC is the least likable actor! Not that there is a scarcity of connivers!

Profoundly sad. What contrition could the wife offer that would be sufficient? She had unprotected sex with a known cockhound. She was an actress, experienced in fending off desirable suitors. And she had another man’s baby. So he can’t forget.

Checked "Like It"...but I didn't.

Giving credit where is is due--the writing is quite good in terms of Writers' Workshop criteria; the dialogue and narration mesh to flesh out the different characters both main and supporting; the plotline is certainly creative (much better than a Hallmark movie of the week) in its depiction of the crass superficiality and manipulation of the entertainment industry.

But as one reviewer previously pointed out--none of the characters are likable (although the wife Maria in her post-therapy introversion comes damn near). That being said, the story obviously conveyed the idea(s) you had in mind in its composition and depicted the scenario as you wished it to be. So kudos on what you accomplished.

It's on me that I found the story depressing, the plot development and ending totally unsatisfying, and the characters (with the exception of Maria and her bastard son) examples of humanity who portray the nihilism and despair of modern life only too well.

You write with considerable talent. Maybe next time I'll find what you write to be worth the time spent getting through it. Though it's tie to this story is tenuous, I have to refer you to BEAUTIFUL RUINS, a book by Jess Walter. I think you might enjoy it.

Keep writing.

MLJ

I don't believe anything that celebrities say or do or endorse! Maybe Hollywood will break off and fall into the sea where it belong.

5

By the Bye,

Sal, when updating Hubby on Dak’s status, hinted that Dak had “contracted a little something-something.”. That sounds like AIDS to me. But Hubby encourages Sweetie and, worse, her taking Matthew to Norway, to live with Dak! Apparently, the ‘something’ was not Aids, but the hint was about something serious!

What a childish, despicable narcistic main character. He is a complete idiot, second only to Maria who actually cares for this excrement posing as a man. He needs someone to beat the crap out of him, destroying his face and putting it on the internet. You have skillfully created a monster. Too bad your readers can't appreciate your skill.

Never give up and no submission.

Good story but the ending is totally unrealistic. All this would have done was royally piss off Charles because it caused him to lose to Chase because of the broken contract. A man as powerful as Charles would have his people find Maria within two weeks tops. Dak would be killed and Maria and Charles grandson would be returned to his estate. You really should have come up with a more realistic ending.

For me, too many things implied and/or left unsaid that were unclear to me, at least in what sense he “won” at the end. But by then I’d missed so much I didn’t care. Sorry.

What a pathetic piece of crap. There were no likable characters, as they were all stupid and/or assholes. The story was way too long, especially since most of it didn't advance the plot but just show exactly how stupid the characters were. Even with skimming most of it to see if it got any better, it was an utter waste of my time.

A very nice read, different from most of the rest of the stories on Literotica.

Well-written and interesting story. Maria was a slut from the beginning, just as superficial as her father; she did depart with a tad of self-respect, but living with the asshole for the rest of her life will cure that. Chase did have integrity, it’s sad that most readers do not acknowledge it, but what do these asshats know? Appears that the kid’s life will get stability, but not especially ‘better.’ Good to have Chas. alive for the ending. And poor, poor wife of Charles. She is living a Stepford existence, totally and completely devoid of life. A very good tale, and the darkness and despair felt quite good, in a 17/18th century Brit novel, but without the stiff upper lip bullshit. Write on, CWG.

That was a wild ride! Very entertaining!.

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The box that the slut’s Dad put Chase in was exquisite. But at the same time, the slut was in a box…and hers was awful. So when the “Deus ex machina” plot device of Bronson leaving the country and agreeing to Sal’s scheme….and then the slut agreeing to it….popped up…voila! A king hit on Daddy 😎

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For anyone who developed any sympathy for the slut … keep in mind her introspection early on about how she could not assure HERSELF that if Chase reconciled with her that she could remain faithful. She was self aware enough to recognize that she was a spoiled selfish bitch. Just the wrong kind of person to be in a marriage in the immoral cesspool that is Hollywood. Maybe…just maybe…she and the baby’s Daddy will be able to make a go of it in Norway.

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As to Chase….hopefully he’ll lose some of his anger and manage to find someone someday.

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As to Daddy Dearest….KARMA!

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5 *****

Wow. This dish of revenge was served ice-cold. Superb set-up.

“Every once in a while” is the proper form of this expression—not “every once and a while,” not “every once in awhile.”

I don't think I get it. Maria and the asshole will need money, and her Dad has it. Maria will want the very best for her son, and her Dad can provide it. Dak will soon figure out that he is now on easy street, and Maria and his spawn are his ticket. And her Dad will pay the bill. All Maria has to do it continue her acting career. She will of course allow Dad to finance her life with Dak, for as long as that lasts. But men age like wine, women age like cheese, and even if Dak waits until Maria enters her cheese phase he will be seeking constant affirmation that he is a sex God, can have any woman he wants, and Maria might get a few left overs.

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So no, her Dad does not lose, because he has nothing to lose, because he neither has nor values anything other than what money can buy. And apparently he's got plenty of money. So he will buy everyone's happiness. His Grandson will be coddled and spoiled and will be groomed to be a trust fund baby if Dad can keep him out of jail, out of paternity suits, and away from substance abuse. It will be very ugly, and probably very typical for that class of people. Who gives a fuck.

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So while all the details were kind of interesting, it was still just a regular stupid wife gets knocked up and whelps a bastard and earns a divorce. Thanks for the effort.

Hard to describe how Many feel about this story. The real villain is the father. He created Maria, and what he did was aweful. He isn't a loving father ( reminds me a lot of a certain famous figure very much in the news) and it is aweful all around. Maria does seem to learn and grow, she realizes her father is a monster and how much he screwed everything up. She is repentant but sadly there is no way.

Chase is not sympathetic either, he obviously has reasons to be upset and angry,Maria did a horrible thing but he is a bastard too, his ego is such he can't even think of being human. If he wasn't such an ass a better ending would be him finding a way to forgive Maria. His treatment if Matthew is aweful, inhuman,he let his ego let him hurt the child. In some ways if they could have reconciled it would have been a giant FU to Charles because he wasn't in charge. Heck ,might have been great if the mother took a knife and killed the old bastard or he dies of a heart attack.

And of course the fatal flaw in this story, why Maria didn't take a morning after pill after screwing Bronson or getting an abortion. She knew it wasn't Chase, so why would she keep it knowing it would spell the end of her marriage?

One slight slip, earlier you say Dak is Danish,then he is Norwegian.

Unlike the previous commenters, I loved it and found it very interesting all the way thru. Right up until the ending, which I found weak. Don't know what I would have done differently, just I expected a lot more; seemed like it was building to something big, then fell flat. Maybe a sequel? would love to read it.

Still gave it a top score but it was a shitty ending to an otherwise brilliant tale. 5*

Didn't like Chase at all.😡

Very sad for all involved. Unique. It’s the first time I’ve read a cheating wife story, where both partners collaborated to burn her father.

Start by digging two graves....................the kid was the only victim here. After a short marriage (13 years) I found a good woman with 4 children, they became my children the day I married her an that was 40 years ago and they are still my children today, there have never been any 'steps' in my home. good story

Yes, well written. Still this story leaves me with a desconsolent feeling. Almost like hearing the news that someone I admired had suddenly passed away. Nobody likable in this story, they are all heavily tarnished from power, infidelity, lust, unbridled hate, and about twenty other character flaws.

I, for one, REALLY liked this story. The characters were flawed, but isn’t everyone? The rich dad seemingly trapped Chase with his power. I liked the fact that Chase bided his time and had the last laugh at the end. I didn’t blame him for failing to bond with the kid, he would have likely left right away, so his wife and father in law shouldn’t have been surprised by his attitude towards wife and boy. Maybe he can make a new life with wife and her family no longer in the picture, and who knows, maybe she’ll be happy with her big-dicked Viking, but I doubt it. We’ll written and engaging, maybe my favorite by this talented author

The affair and the child would never have remained a secret. Everyone on the set knew what had happened and several would have sold out to the media. Chase would have become another Will Smith had they stayed together. The end seemed rushed and too simple with disappointing revenge.

Loved the great drama and terrible characters. 5 stars and a great Thank you.

The kid was the only victim, all the rest were pathetic human beings. The cuck deserved to be shackled, the wife deserved way worse than she got, and the real Dad made out like a bandit. No revenge or payback for anyone. Slut got away with everything and lived happily ever after. Sick story.

What horrible people! It should be illegal for them to procreate. The only one who shows a shred of decent human feeling is Maria. Chase should have taken his wife and her son and his money and skipped the country.

Good story, well written, thanks for sharing.

Hmmm. Full marks for the creativity and the writing.

I didn't really like it though.

Well played. Some holes in my mind, but I would have played it differently and ruined the story. Probably landed in jail. Lots of unlikable characters that most could have cheerfully strangled, but that was the fun of it. The kid was the only decent person and he probably suffered the most. Nicely done. Thanks for the effort.

Hard headed hard hearted and stupid people.

A total waste of time This story should have ended on page one. Sucker and whore should have been the title.

What A fool believes... And then you die..

DazzyD

could have been great! you left to much on th table unsaid.

Sad tale all around. Such a waste of Years over one big mistake.

Hum ended too soon wonderfully written lacking in details maybe, but that might also be a way to show the lack of control he felt, so I don't know mostly I want more, hell I just want to see him tear apart the in laws. You said in your preamble that we might not like any of the characters, thing is the only one I truly despised was daddy dearest.

Great plot! Very refreshing story line. It took me a while to get into the prose, but as the plot built, I got hooked. I hated the power-play by Charles, but isn't that what super wealth people think they can do, (plus a sprinkle of exaggeration to stir up the emotions)?

I gave you 5 stars ...twice! ...Just to counter the BTB brigade! Thank you.

Really enjoyed it. Gives great insight to the US mentality, you know, money, fame and power. Nice the little man wins again.

Would of been nicer if the moment he got his was more drawn out, a more detailed epilogue, a part 2 even.

Could of gone dark too and have the boat sink with both the whore and the bastard child dead on the ocean floor. Dark, true, but one hell of a revenge.

Then after the dust settles a clip comes out with recordings of what happened, a detailed diary of how the "great charles" drove his daughter and grandson to the grave. That would of been fantastic!

Great story, really enjoyed it! Maybe Chase will meet Maria again in Europe and talk things out after her divorce ?

As a only child she will get everything after her parents died...

Reconciilation in a next chapter !...Five big stars.

Too melodramatic for my taste.

This was a well written sad story capable of making a beautiful day seem gloomy.

Ending was ridiculous. Well written but all characters were morally reprehensible. And why again does the cheating wife NOT get a plan B, morning after pill? She has 3-5 days depending on which medication. She had unprotected sex with no birth control. She is affluent and from a wealthy family. In real life, unless she actually loved Dak, which she did not, and she only settled at the end because Chase would not have her with Matthew and she was escaping her father, why would she risk a pregnancy. What decade is this, the 70s? I know this is fiction, but what woman who is otherwise happily married would NOT get a morning after pill after being seduced and drunk?

Well written. Engaging story. Appropriately likable and un-likable characters. I found myself sorry for Maria, but she’d made her bed and had to lie in it for several years. Good job.

Very interesting story. Great read. Thaks for sharing.

I disliked all the characters except for Sal

Sal and the wife were the only characters likeable. Well written but a very gloomy, sad story.

Reviews cover the bases from very positive to quite negative. The composition and unfolding plot development--even the personality delineation--were all well done, so kudos on a high-quality creative work.

That doesn't mean the story earns unqualified approval; though the setting as taking place in "acting" circles allows for creating characters who range from being simply narcissistic--to those who are immediately and consistently unlikeable--is rational and understandable. As portrayed by a skilled writer, you accomplished your goal in bringing them to life. The MC was the epitome of self-absorption while the supporting players quite realistic.

All-in-all a miserable tale of flawed human beings filled with hubris.

The only "likeable" character was Maria--the only one who "grew" in stature and character, who, as the story unfolded took full responsibility for her actions and consistently attempted to be a mother her son deserved to have...and a repentant wife who loved her husband still--in spite of everything.

Good job on the story; hated its cynicism and nihilism.

MLJ

Ended up in my mind as the MC being the arsehole!

mc was a cold-hearted asshole. wife fucks up once so he goes and does worse multiple times. wife better off without him.

Yayyy!! Sic Semper Tyrannis.

Very sad ending

Well written

Great he didn't end up the Cuckold raising Daks kid like she and her father planned.

@oldguy1 better known as Mr. Cuck. “Wife fucked up once”. Well once is enough… since she got pregnant. MC wasn’t a cold-hearted asshole his wife was. If either spouse breaks their vows the marriage contract is null and void. And the anon comment below that the only “likable character was Marie”. Wow. You mean Marie the slut wife? Who thrived on male attention - even though married? The detestable bitch that should have had an abortion or the morning after pill? But then the MC would just be an unknowing cuckold. The MC made the best of the situation his wife and father-in-law put him in. Too bad he didn’t get together with Jaz. … Hopefully the father-in-law suffered a heat attack and his wife a stroke.

You warned us - no good guys in this one. Well written, if disturbing, tale.

A well written and interesting story. As others have said, no redeeming characters here even the mc. Feel sorry for maria but if your a stupid twat you win silly sad prizes. Hated the FiL and his goons, wanted him to carry a piece and injure dad while getting the best of the goons and having FiL hush it all up for his reputation or whatever. 3 stars for characters, 5*s for tightly woven interesting story. rk

Why didn't Chase call his lawyer when he got home and Daddy dearest was there? He knew something was up.

4 Stars as I though he had a security system , that would record everything and fry the old man's ass . I loved sending pictures of my ex and her boyfriend to her father and step mother .. But for some reason they did not appreciate them .

I give up. I give up on this writer. You have the intelligence and writing skills to compose very interesting stories. Sadly, you are addicted to the whole forgiveness train. Some people do not deserve to be forgiven. Every story does not have to have fire rain down on the cheating spouse, but the reader wants to feel like a guy can win sometimes. Probably not true, but that is why we read fiction. I suppose most of us readers here, and many authors, have felt the pain of a cheating spouse AND the injustice in todays family courts. By all means, go on making us feel bad.

It's a good story well worth five stars.

Well written story. Tight plot if a bit convoluted at times. It was entertaining and kept me engaged and interested. BardnotBard

Very good story.

The only thing that felt out of place? His forgiveness of her? He was sad at the end that this horrific woman and her bastard of a burden forced upon him was making an exit?

Why? It was just unnecessary and after his anger and years and years of hatred of her and her father...the unrelenting bitterness that drove him...he went soft and sad at the end? Yeah. Right.

That didn't fit. He wanted her gone. Had for years. He detested her and barely tolerated her adulterous offspring. He also wanted a real relationship with his leading lady. He found a way out. Give her the way...and push her out.

That part just didn't feel right. At all. Disingenuous.

So...I'll just chose to block that part of the story. The rest of this story is very good.