All Comments on 'Jordan and Carly Ch. 01'

by CraptainPlanet

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  • 30 Comments
RedCometxRedCometx2 months ago

So glad to see you writing again.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

A good start,great build up then a terrible ending

Needs a part 2

OnTalynOnTalyn2 months ago

Great storytelling, can’t wait for pt.2. The buildup is moving along just slow enough, they don’t need to jump each others bones on the first night, but their desire and the breakdown of their inhibitions just adds to the story.

lc69hunterlc69hunter2 months ago

love the plot, love the writing, and love where this is going

swfb70swfb702 months ago

hot hot hot- am looking forward to chapter 2

Ilovetophoto68Ilovetophoto682 months ago

Please, write part 2 and maybe part 3

GoonShitGoonShit2 months ago

OMG HES BACK?!?!

MORE JUST ONE OF THE GUYS PLEASE! I'VE BEEN DYING. I check literally at least 3 times a week for the past 3-4 years to see if you come back. This is the greatest day ever.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Part two will hopefully be (still has the potential to be) good; well, I think. But well noted, this is starting to sound a bit like a childish shaved pussy story.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

An interesting situation, that in reality could be plausible. I can see a brother and sister in a small-town cast this way. Let's hope their curiosity overtakes them soon.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Karen's Nude Day is one of my all time favorite stories on here. SOOO glad to see you back. Great start to the story so far!

Red_22bRed_22b2 months ago

Damn hot!

Love your build up and story telling.

mremrsmremrs2 months ago

Great start to what I hope will be a long running story! Very sexy!!

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Lots of potential for additional chapters, and not just a second one. Possibly brother has a bi-girlfriend for chapter 3 or 4. I like the buildup. However, I wish there could be a bit more as far as anatomical descriptions. So far, I have not read enough in the realm of sister's abundant mound of thick pussy hair. Or should readers simply guess, while wondering if this going to be another pathetically shaved, razor burnt story.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Attention Author, I agree with the other commenter(s). Please do not make this a disgusting / nasty razor burnt with stubble and pimples in the regrowing hair story. Pussy hair is (JUST FUCKING DAM SEXY) and is always needed in a good brother sister story like this is beginning to sound like it might be. (Sopping wet, drenched, saturated pussy hair with the aroma of a clean but super-hot pussy during an hour or so of oral on that big begging to be sucked clit).

hosedbubbahosedbubba2 months ago

The story belongs to the author, not anonymous assholes. If the author wants to have a Bald pussy that is their choice. If you don't like it that's fine. Stop reading and find a story you like. If you can't find one then come out from behind your anonymous comments and write a story you want to have people comment on. If you've had a bad experience with a shaved pussy that's on you and if she's got things going on with her pussy that makes it look nasty to you then she's got more going on then just shaving. Get over yourselves.

Sorry CraptainPlanet, had to give my two cents on anon asses commenting on shaved pussy story's.

GhostwoofGhostwoof2 months ago

The issue I had with the story was that in paragraph four, the parents sold their house and moved away, but in paragraph 13 the parents were gone for the weekend and the kids were staying in the house.

Things like that kind of trip me up and make the reading less enjoyable. I will continue to read.

Captain_RonCaptain_Ron2 months ago

Great to see you writing again! Excellent start to a new story.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Interesting comment by hosedbubba. The story does belong to the author. However, I do think the commenters trying to help this author not get ratings of 2 or 3. You may live a sheltered kind of life, and from how it sounds you have not dated a lot- enough to know shaved pussies with splintered irritating stubble is just plain nasty to touch and when the sickening dam boils and pimples form from the regrowing ingrown hairs, it's just an UN-fuckable sick mess. I have experienced that dammed silly scratchy stubble shit with nearly every shaved pussy lady I have ever dated and tried to fuck in my life. In short, there have been very few second dates with women who think that is somehow sexy and desirable. But like you said in the end hosedbubba "your 2 cents!!!!!" THAT IS ABOUT ALL YOUR BALD PUSSY COMMENT WAS WORTH.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

I am talking to my sister (she teaches theater), about my son and daughter being cast in a similar play, if she will write one. I have been fucking my sexy sister since the second year of college and BTW, her husband (sucks cock) and he is ok with me fucking her now and then as long as he gets to watch.

HtslHtslabout 2 months ago

I like the story and I 'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Even if I didn't read all comments, I have to agree to hosedbubba. It's the author's story and only he says, what's going on. And beside, it's funny, that it's always an anonymous, who is trolling the stories with experiences of shaved pussies.

ForeverEverForeverEverabout 2 months ago

The return of the king! Glad to see you back and can’t wait to read the rest of it!

CoucyCoucyabout 2 months ago

Oh my god, that was good. Guilty pleasure. Looking forward to the rest.

1nightdare1nightdareabout 2 months ago

wow, this story is so hot, i cant wait to read more about them, love being able to feel the passion and the desire.

vividlyyoursvividlyyoursabout 2 months ago

Oh sweet mother, that was fucking hot.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Great story. I love the slow burns with proper reluctance.

seanmillerseanmillerabout 2 months ago

Awesome series!! Love the build up and the attention to detail!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

That was hot as fuck. It's so rare to find good writing like this on this site.

AnonymousAnonymous25 days ago

ho;ly shit he's back

AnonymousAnonymous20 days ago

The oroticism was ok the dialogue was boring and endless; 3 stars.

AnonymousAnonymous4 days ago

Like many I intermittantly have checked this profile long after losing all hope we would ever see another story by my all time favorite writer of erotic lit.

Bless you for coming back to us :')

Anonymous
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