On the Therapist's Couch

Telling those things was perhaps not in our best interest from the inadvertent arousal and erections that they caused. We looked at each other with strange uncertainty hovering about us. Inside I was upbeat and proud knowing I'd crossed the finish line and could see clear blue skies ahead with Katie and me, leaving the demons of my past behind, securely locked in their cages.

"This is goodbye," Daniel said, with an implied melancholy as he reached for my hand to shake it, knowing as well, this was truly goodbye.

Paths cross in life, sometimes they join together, sometimes they split apart after crossing. With all the chaos inside me that brought me in here to see Daniel in the first place, I felt I was leaving with a sense of resolve. When one goes into therapy, there is no magic wand that after a certain number of sessions or a set period of time that goes "poof, you're healed". I felt I had done the things that would improve my life on my own free will, no one had prodded or badgered me to change.

In my heart and in my head, I knew what was right and wrong, especially when it comes to the right and wrong things for me to maintain a healthy, happy marriage to Katie. She was a doll. She had a noble character that I lacked. I could have used the fact of the sexual encounter in panties with Johnny to rationalize the extreme behaviors of my sexuality, but I did not. As Daniel looked me in the eyes with his clear blue eyes shaking my hand in goodbye, I could not fault him for snapping at me that day any more than I could fault myself for breaking down in his office. I could not fault Daniel any more than I could fault myself as his mouth forced upon my mouth as I responded eagerly kissing him in return, our bodies falling together in a thud against the back of the door, rather than me exiting the door.

Perhaps it was inevitable, perhaps it was destined to be, perhaps all the peaks and valleys in the intimacy of a person revealing himself to another person brought this about, or perhaps it was just the innate flaw in the deficiency of my character. Whatever the reason, as Daniel's hungry homosexual kiss pressed upon me, masculine mouth upon masculine mouth, hot impatient breath on my neck and ear, our heated embrace was frantic, passionate, bordering on obsessive. I was beyond thinking about what we were doing with each other or what this would do to the upbeat, strong mindset, so proud of myself 'me' for being so good. I was beyond thinking about what this would do to the "back on track", positive 'me' I had been in my mind mere minutes before.

All I could do was react to my animal sexuality as I impatiently opened Daniel's pants as he unbuttoned off his stylish rich pink shirt. Once I had his khaki pants open, I fell to my knees and yanked down his underwear with his cock in my hands. In the fantasy I told Daniel about doing nearly the same thing, this was the real deal, not my vivid imagination. His cock was greater than anything my imagination could have dreamed up; it was a beautiful big cut cock with a nice helmet head sticking out of a forest of dark pubic hair. Yes, he must have been an athlete his cock was so stiff and virile. Looking up at Daniel wistfully I held it in my hands jacking on the hard tacky beast. Poor Candice, I have his cock now, I can make it hard as steel, he wants me to pleasure him if she won't or can't or is playing mind games.

Pressing my face into the pungent muskiness of his cock, I licked and sniffed and kissed it in awe. Once I plunged my mouth over it and started sucking his cock in earnest, moans of pleasure and "oh my gawd, oh my gawd, oh my gawd" escaped Daniel's lips. Gagging my mouth over his cock, in and out, my own cock ached hard at the taste of his. A moment before, it was a diplomatic, platonic "goodbye". Now it was an unplanned union of the flesh, two males unable to suppress their homosexual attraction to each other in breathless enrapture.

I rose up off his cock as Daniel forced his mouth back on mine, forcing me against the door again with another thud. To his hungry ravenous kissing me, I obsessively returned his passion with my own restless gay hunger. We were agitated and horny as we forced ourselves onto each other, Daniel's hard cock sticking obscenely out his pants as he groped for my penis through my pants. In our state of unbridled sexual hunger towards one another, we caught our breath when a lapse in our embrace allowed us to fathom our situation. The hardness of our cocks was the result of unscripted stimulation of today's conversations and the intimate knowledge of each other's closet sexuality from our sessions. I was the first to speak:

"I'm going to grab something for me to wear for you," I whispered softly in a more than slightly feminine voice. "It's out in my car, I'll be right back."

I flew out the door to my car and opened the trunk grabbing the 'drag bag' I had in there since my last time with Rick. I'd been meaning to do something with it, throw it away, put it in storage, donate it to a thrift store, I didn't know. It was one of those things where in the back of your mind you know it's there and know you should do something about it, but it slips from active thought. A quick tap on the door Daniel let me back in and giving him a sweet sexy kiss, I told him "Give me a sec" as I went into the small restroom just inside the office entryway. Inside my 'drag bag' it was an unkept jumble of panties, various articles of lingerie, a pair of high heeled sandals, the brunette pageboy wig and black dress from my last fling with Rick. The black dress still had blotches of crusted semen on it from that night at the gay bar.

I wanted to be quick, so I snagged a pair of dark stockings, the high heels, the wig, a pair of panties, a tube of lipstick and a top I had always meant to wear for Rick, but never did. This top was straight out of a skanky online lingerie shop, a black long sleeve fishnet/fence net collarless pull over that showed skin beneath as my hard nipples poked through the holes of the netting. The panties were pink side tie string bikini panties with black trim ties with white polka dots and a rusche-ed pink bottom hugging the cheeks of my skinny cute ass, an equally skanky piece of lingerie. In my haste I pulled on the stockings, now with runs through them, placed the wig on my head and applied a quick layer of red lipstick. One last piece of bling was a pink leather dog collar with silver hearts on it, just like the sub males wear in cuckold and CFNM videos. It was one of my favorite pieces of gay apparel.

In the high heels I strolled out to meet my adoring new lover. A dog can't change the color of its spots, nor could I, not with the prospect of a big juicy bone. Like a stocking clad hussy in a cheap 1960's detectives sex story paperback having an affair with a man at rundown hotel, Daniel looked me over as I sashayed out. I sidled up next to him as he took me in his arms. "Wow" he gasped as he then forced his mouth on mine, tasting my lipstick. "Just WOW!" he repeated as his hands wandered over my cute pantie clad tushie.

He was out of his loafers but still had his unbuttoned pink shirt and pants on. I purred in his ear as I seductively peeled his shirt off his shoulders much as a "Bond" girl would. Daniel toyed with my pointy hard nipples through the netting of my sexy top as I playfully unfastened his pants, dropping them as he stepped naked out of the pile on the floor. Simultaneously he reached for my pantie clad penis as I pulled along the length of his hard, tacky manhood. Kissing resumed as the sensation of holding onto each other's erections made for a steamy moment of volcanic arousal.

Daniel's groping my ass as we broke the kiss was inadvertantly loosening the strings of the pink panties with the black and white trim, especially with my very erect penis poking out the front. As was my playful, femme nature I stepped back and with an emphatic yank on both ties of the string bikini, I said "Boop" as the panties dropped to the floor. In my shameless love of faggily exposing myself to a gay lover, I stood there bottomless in high heeled sandals, stockings and my stretchy fishnet top, my erect penis wagging as I shimmered a sexy pirouette for Daniel. Falling into his arms backwards, he caught me. Soon his hot breath was in my ear as he grabbed a handful of ass in either hand. Standing behind me naked then fondling my stiff penis nuzzling my neck, tonguing my ears, his hard cock now pressed against the crack of my tender ass cheeks. Looking out the windows through the blinds at the world, we were enjoying our own hidden homosexual world.

"I never dared dream this, Bobby, never. I was strong like you were with Katie. Then I read your stories. Then I couldn't help myself. Oh fuck, I can't help myself," Daniel bit my ear and pulled on my cock as he said this.

I couldn't help myself either. Whatever mystic fate willed this; I didn't care. This was the "me" that had always been inside me as I embraced it from the closet and fought in the light of day in the straight world. Maybe that was the part that made it so exciting - if you are out and gay, it's no big deal, you're gay and most people could care less. If you are a flaming closet fairy, you fight with yourself over right and wrong, should I or shouldn't I, you don't want anyone to know, like your wife, brother, sister, mom, dad, friends, coworkers. So, when you do get to be the queer you adore being with someone who accepts it, knows it, wants to give you a hard cock, then it is the most exciting thing you've ever done.

Here in my nakedness with Daniel it was many times over the most exciting thing I had ever experienced in my homosexuality, mainly because I did not know it would be happening, it was not supposed to happen, there was no forethought and usual sneaky sleazy planning, and most of all, it being so wrong that it was happening with my therapist with whom none of this is supposed to happen, especially as I was so sure I had 'straightened' myself out over this. Straight? Pffffftt. In other words, I was going to enjoy being the closet homosexual I had otherwise fought and felt so guilty about all my life.

There is something about being bottomless in heels and hosiery that is so naughty, vulnerable and erotic being desired by another man. With Daniel behind me, still nuzzling my neck, ears and side of my face, pulling on my penis as his uber hard penis pressed against my ass cheeks, I felt more than a little desired. I felt lusted after by a handsome, intelligent, athletic, hung stud. We turned facing each other for more obsessive homosexual kissing, hard cocks tacky dripping with pre cum on hard cock, tacky, dripping with pre cum cock.

When the exasperation of our kissing finally broke, I dropped to my knees mashing my face into Daniel's hard, big, virile, athletic cock, licking his balls, licking his cock. I'd never seen such beautiful hard cock, Candice should be ashamed, though knowing that made me smile inside as Daniel's manhood filled my mouth. Cocksucker. Sucking cock. Cocksucker, it is a term tossed around in locker rooms, bars and ball fields. If you are on your knees pleasuring another man, that word has meaning. Denial and shame had no place for me now as Daniel's earthy, fleshy cock pulsated in and out of my mouth, the musky, masculine scent of his balls and body permeating my homosexual act.

In a fit of lust, Daniel pulled me off his cock, kissed me madly, then led me to the big leather couch, sitting me down. It was his turn to kneel as he spread my legs and forced his mouth on my penis, causing ripples of nasty pleasure. He pulled my heeled feet up onto the cushions, legs still spread wide, kissed and nuzzled along my stocking encased inner thighs, tingling and tickling my thighs with his raspy face.

When his face returned licking my balls it jolted me, digging my heels into the leather, lifting my genitals when his firm, warm wet tongue slipped into the tender tightness of my bung hole, causing a sensation few men had ever done to me, none as sweet as what Daniel was now doing. With my legs spread obscenely apart, I was squirming and writhing as Daniel's tongue and lips continued the sweet wet ravishment of my boy pussy. He seemed insatiable as his mouth licked eagerly at my hole then my balls and penis, then back licking forcefully up my tender butt hole.

We both wanted the same thing as he finally rose, pressed himself onto me and resumed his hungry kissing of his somewhat illicit fem boi lover. His manly hard cock chafed along my penis as we kissed, and he whispered a string of loving words in warm breaths in my ear: "you're so hot" "I've wanted you long before I read your stories" "you make me harder than I've ever been." I was as flattered as I was hard. Reaching between my legs I placed the head of his cock at my damp opening, Daniel thrusted slowly against my hole but I knew we'd need lubrication. I whispered in choppy hoarse breaths "grab my bag from the bathroom".

He returned with it as I fumbled through a side pocket inside for a tube of lubricant. By that time, I had laid prone along the couch with my legs spread obscenely open, my high heels digging into the leather of the couch. In a moment of reckoning Daniel began poking his penis, his wonderfully hard penis, up into my butt. Gasping as I bit my lip from the initial insertion, Daniel began thrusting in measured pokes to get his cock up into me. With my arms around his neck pulling his face to mine, I was madly kissing him, thanking him, urging him on.

"You asked me if I was gay. I'm so gay. I'm gay. I'm so gay for you. I can't help it if I am. You make me feel gayer than I've ever felt. I love being your fem fag boy," telling Daniel a string of true statements as he continued to fuck me.

"I can't believe this is happening," Daniel gasped in my ear between kissing and thrusting into me. "You turn me on more than Candice ever has, harder than she ever made me."

"Fuck me. Get me pregnant. I'll be your wife. You're the best I've ever had," I said encouraging him with horny statements of truth.

As we fucked on the couch, writhing in our homosexuality, kissing, nuzzling faces in passion, Daniel's cock was putting thrusts as deep into me as far as my boy cunny could take it. I bucked my stocking clad legs, high heels digging into the leather, as Daniel's throbbing wood continued its magic up my love tunnel. I was beyond rational thinking, or any thinking really, just the sensation of cock up in me, getting humped, man on femme boy. Grunting and moaning as our lovemaking squeaked over the leather couch building up to climax. In a fit of passion, Daniel said something that seemed to take him over the edge:

"I'm so madly in love with you, Bobbi," he whispered throatily as I withstood his cock humping its powerful final jabs into me.

I had been fucked before, but never was the sensuous, thunderous ejaculation of another man up my butt so incredibly wonderful. In the moments that followed, we absorbed the enormity of our lovemaking. It had no basis of reason or propriety; it happened due to the live wires of our individual homosexual circuits fusing after unplanned contact. Daniel's semen dribbled its sticky dampness out of me onto the nice leather of the couch as his erection slowly subsided with us still in and embrace of copulation. When his slippery member slid out, we rolled into each other's arms facing one another, nuzzling with soft adoring kisses. I had yet to ejaculate when Daniel's hand caressed upon my erection and my sense of arousal met his playful fondling:

"That was sweet, Bobbi, you've made a wreck of me," Daniel admitted. In silly questioning he asked "do we need to lock this naughty thing up? Look at all the trouble it got us in." His big paw played with my rigid penis.

My own playful sense of my erotic mind led me to say things of appropriate fantasy, verbalizing things that might go through my mind while I was masturbated. Now I was being masturbated by my homosexual lover of whom I was no stranger to fantasizing about. I had even told him of it earlier when he coaxed it out of me, back when I still hung on in my mind the charade that I was straight. Now, I needed no coaxing to speak the erotic thoughts that ruled the vast expanses of homosexual fantasy in my mind.

"I want you to show me off at a cocktail party as your wife. I don't even need a dress or heels, just slacks and flats and a sweater, no wig, just a little lip gloss and eye shadow. Everyone will know you are the husband and I am the boy wife," I could not help saying things like this, his hand stroking my penis was making me talk crazy.

"Oh. Fuck, Yes.," was Daniel's emphatic reply to my 'way out there' comment as he nuzzled my ear and kissed my neck, his masculine hand stroking my penis and fondling my balls.

"You know you'll have to lock up my hard little clitty or I'll always want this," I said as I climbed out of his arms, up the couch and pressed my hard penis into his face.

Grabbing my butt cheeks, Daniel lavished my penis and balls with adoring wetness, licking and sucking, before I slid back into his arms and his jacking me off continued. His own erotic sense of what I wanted to hear came out as he said:

"You want me to lock up your cute little penis and show it off to the girls in the back room of the cocktail party, don't you Bobbi?"

"Yes, show me off. I want you to show me off to my old girlfriend, Deb. She was drunk one night at a bar and she called me a pussy. Said she'd find me a boyfriend. She was so hot, but she hardly ever let screw her. Let's show her I'm gay, that makes me horny to think that she'd find out," I went on. Deb was not the only girlfriend that made comments questioning my sexuality. Katie never did, at least to my face.

"Candice says 'quit acting so gay' to me when she's upset with me. You'd love that, wouldn't you, having her see me with you. Holding hands and kissing me in front of my wife," Daniel said this guessing correctly it was a big 'faggot trigger' for me.

"Please, yes.," was all that escaped my lips as I was humping my penis up into his hand.

After the overload of unplanned sexual play and my natural inclination to act out in a femme, faggy manner it is surprising I had yet to ejaculate, but I was getting close. The therapist was masturbating his client.

"Cum for me, Bobbi. I want to see you cum, sweetie. I can't believe how much you've made me want you. We are both gay. We are. Let's not fight it any longer. We're both gay. I could only get hard with Candice last week thinking about you. Now that I've had you it's better than it has ever been with anyone. You're so hot. Cum for me, sweetie," Daniel admitted as he nuzzled his tongue affectionately in my ear, urging me on.

My heavy breathing and spastic twitching in my hips signaled ejaculation. My semen splattered out over my belly and Daniel's hand. My eyes rolled back into my head as the buildup to this ejaculation was dramatic and the actual orgasm was a fantastic release from today's stimulating tête-à-tête, a culmination of the revelations we made to each other about our true sexuality and our suppressed sexual desires. It took a little while to climb back to reality in the glow of post ejaculation bliss.

My bottom was sticky with semen on the fine leather of the couch. Daniel's continued nuzzling the side of my face showed that his climax had not dampened his affection for me. He licked a little of my semen from his fingers and dipped them in the scattered semen puddles on my belly, lifting them to my lips to taste. Even spent, Daniel's cock was half hard and impressive, I loved seeing it and touching it. Personality wise Daniel was not truly "Alpha" in nature, but physically in body build and especially his cock, he was oh so dreamy for a bottom boi like me.