by StoryTeller07
Always good stuff from you. Very interested to see where you carry this tale.
Are the machine's effects still in play? Are there unforeseen consequences? Rewiring of the brain?
This could be a fun ride.
Agreed - I'm also interested in seeing where this goes. I felt as if this chapter ended too abruptly, without real closure, so I'm hoping you've got more in the works.
Very good & interesting as far as it goes. Need more a lot more!! Keep up the great work.
Sorry! I write several stories at once and get carried away with the action. This will be corrected soon
Sometimes Jane is Janet, which is it?
All of a sudden a Rebecca appears when Sabrina seems to be called for.
This is a wonderfully engaging story but I'm distracted from it because you have inconsistencies in the names. You've got to proof read to make sure that you have consistency in your story otherwise its distracting for your audience. In the last two chapters I've seen the daughter called 3 different names.