The Council Ch. 16

Alexei stared after her retreating back wondering what knew trick she was about to get up to. He didn't trust her sudden capitulation. It was too out of character for her. His heart was still racing at finding her with the knives. Did she really need this so badly that she was willing to take that kind of risk to force him into healing her?

It didn't make any sense. His wolf was so much more level headed than that, way too intelligent to want to harm herself. It was too impulsive for Cedar, something her wolf would do rather than her human side.

A deep groan ripped through him the moment he thought of her wolf. Remember about Weres she had said to him. He had forgotten all about how her wolf might perceive his reluctance to mate with her.

Alexei silently followed after her, hearing the shower turn on in the bathroom. He pushed open the door and watched silently as his mate stood under the hot spray. Her shoulders were slumped, her entire body language crying out defeat. He felt his heart twist painfully in his chest.

He heard a muffled sound and his heart twisted harder. He was moving without thinking, sliding into the shower fully dressed and wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I'm sorry," Cedar wept turning in his arms and burying her face in his neck. "I'll be fine in a moment. I can be happy with what we have, Alexei. It doesn't matter that you don't want to complete the mating."

He stiffened instantly crushing her tightly to him. "You think I don't want to mate with you?" he groaned hoarsely. "Oh, Cedar, I want nothing more, sweetheart. I just can't stand the thought of hurting you, of you being hurt at all. It isn't that I don't want you, my wolf. I want what Andrei has, what Nors now has too. I just can't do it to you."

"Why not?" Cedar asked through her tears, raising her head to look at him. "It's the same as any other Siring a vampire would do, only it will hurt a bit more. I don't care that it will hurt, Alexei. The pain is such a small price to pay for what we can have for the rest of our lives." Her eyes pleaded with him.

He swallowed hard as he gazed into her eyes. "It's more than just wanting what the others have, isn't it?" he asked quietly a frown on his face. "If we don't mate what will your wolf's reaction be?"

"I can control her, Alexei," she answered softly. "As long as she knows that you do want to mate with us, that the possibility is there, I should be able to keep her contained."

His frown deepened, his hands threading in her wet curls to keep her gaze locked with his as he searched her face intently for any sign of a lie. "And if she believes I don't want to mate with you?" he pressed, his eyes boring into her.

Cedar swallowed hard, pinned under his scrutiny. "Then there is a possibility I could go Rogue," she whispered so quietly it was only his enhanced hearing skills that allowed him to catch the words.

Fear raced through him. Fear and anguish and searing pain. If he didn't mate with her she could die. If he tried to mate with her and was unsuccessful then he could kill her. Either way stood the chance of losing his precious wolf.

Alexei searched her anguished face, her pain ripping right through him. He tried to open his mouth to explain to her how he felt but her eyes haunted him. He tenderly brushed her wet curls back from her beautiful face and kissed her trembling lips.

"Forgive me," he whispered softly and then he plunged his talons deep within her abdomen.

Cedar stiffened in pain, her hands clutching tightly at Alexei's shoulders as her legs trembled and then started to give way. A moan of sheer agony ripped from her as he gently lowered her to the tiled shower floor, following her down and cradling her gently against his body.

The pain was like fire burning all the way through her. She could feel steel knives raking about inside her and she bit her tongue hard to stop the shrill screams that wanted to erupt from her throat. If she screamed he would stop and he couldn't stop now. He had to complete this while he could still bear to do so.

She could feel the hot stickiness of her blood pulsing out of the wound he'd created. Her head dropped forward as she stared down at herself. The blood was thick and bright red and then the hot spray of the water diluted it and it turned lighter, thinner, before it washed away to be replaced by the next pulse of blood flowing from her body.

Cedar wanted to tell Alexei what a waste it was for her blood to just disappear down the drain like that. It could be feeding him, sustaining his life rather than trickling away. But she couldn't speak. If she opened her mouth the screams would come out and he wouldn't be able to continue.

It felt like hours that his talons had been inside her body doing their bloody work but she had a feeling it had been merely seconds. How much longer did he need to do this? How much longer she did need to withstand the agony without screaming? She didn't think she could hold back much longer. She didn't think she was strong enough to endure the searing fire within her body.

Alexei held his mate tightly as she shuddered and moaned in his arms. He couldn't believe how quiet she was considering the agony he knew she must be in. She should be screaming but all that escaped her were hoarse moans. He was thankful for that at least.

His eyes filled with tears as his talons did their deadly damage inside her beautiful body. His hand was coated in her blood, her vital organs pulsing against his skin. His heart shattered with every moan she made. He kept his eyes fastened on her face, tilting her head back when she looked down to see what he was doing.

He memorised every moment of her pain, tears sliding silently down his face as her eyes dulled with pain, her beautiful eyes leaking tears. He carefully removed his talons, kissing her so gently as her precious life's fluid flowed out of her body. How long did he need to wait before he could heal her? She had to be close to death but how close?

"I want beautiful little girls just like you," Alexei whispered softly against her lips as he listened to her breathing getting shallower and her heartbeat starting to falter. "They have to have long blonde curls and beautiful cerulean blue eyes," he continued to whisper as she trembled in pain. "They'll be sassy and wild, opinionated and stubborn, just like their mother."

Her breath caught in her throat and a trickle of blood leak from the side of her mouth. He moaned in pain, ripping his fingers open and pressing them deeply inside her, quickly searching for the damage he had caused so he could heal her with his blood. He soothed the ache inside her and then rubbed his bloody hands across the wound he had made.

Cedar cried out and coughed up blood, trying to stay awake, trying to picture the little blonde girls Alexei had described. She fought to stay with him, strove to ignore the searing agony and picture them with their daughters, laughing together as a family. It was such a beautiful image, so perfect.

Alexei had done something else to her. The pain was lessening and her limbs didn't feel as weak as they had. Her breathing felt a little easier too. Had he healed her? She wanted to look down but she couldn't drag her eyes from his tear streaked face. His tortured gaze trapped her, telling her that his mental agony had been just as bad as the physical agony she had just experienced.

She took a deep, shuddering breath, moaning softly once more and trying to utter a little laugh. "You must be a glutton for punishment then," she managed to whisper through shaky breaths as the pain began to recede within her and her body started to calm slightly.

"No, I'm a lover of perfection," he answered softly, tears rolling down his cheeks as he let the warm water cleanse his hand so he could reach up and cup her cheek tenderly. "I'm sorry, Cedar. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I'm not," she breathed softly, feeling her strength returning slowly. She reached up to wipe away his tears, pulling his head down towards hers. "Thank you, Alexei," she breathed against his lips. "I know what that cost you, love."

He groaned hoarsely, kissing her gently, his lips trembling against hers. "I don't think you'll ever truly know what that just cost me, sweetheart," he whispered. "Don't ever ask me to do anything like that again because I don't think I ever could. Not even for you."

He sat down with his back against the wall, pulling his wolf tightly against him. He wept silently as he hugged her tightly, waiting for the healing to complete. He'd done many things in his long life, some that had been truly unforgivable but none of them compared to what he had just done to his precious woman.

It would take centuries for him to ever forgive himself for the pain he had just put her through.

To be continued...