All Comments on 'Two Feet Above'

You just added a few more evil people to the roster of villains!

4

great build up ..... and such a let down ending

i don t condone violence in any form .... but this story warrants a lot of it

cut of rebecca s feet and bury them with the love of her life

all the therapists drugged then shock their brains for a while

tie up the sister in a dungeon and whip her every day torture her in every way imaginable

sorry but this story brings out the worst in me

Crappy ending. The bad people get slaps on the wrist and the story ends. The MC gets nothing and the story ends.

Pages and pages of conspiracy and suffering and the author couldn't work up the effort for any significant justice or recovery. The MC "moves forward with his life" with the help of his therapist. What a pablum ending.

Excellent story. A psychological mystery drama

There is a major disconnect in this story for me: The command "two feet above" put Rebecca into a hypnotic state, but Marshall never used it to question her. Or was she faking that response ? If she was faking, how would she have known to fake a response to that particular command? If she was not faking, why wasn't she questioned while under that suggestion ? Perhaps, I missed the point of that scene. As it stands, the entire story fall apart there

WOW! Great story, great writing. I had to go back a number of times to reread paragraphs because of the convolutions. To me, this is one of the best stories on this site. BTW, there are all kinds of evil and selfish people out there and this story did a wonderful job of addressing that.

Ugh!

Glad we didn't have to wait an extended period for the ending of this story.

Having Rebecca end up being a willing co-conspirator leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I guess it was my desire for some small bit of a happy ending out of all the twisted stuff that usd already happened to Marshall.

Well written and thought provoking story.

A tad quick in the ending but this was overall a really interesting read. I wonder if it needed an Act Three? He has a task of putting his life back together. He is a remarkable man who held it together in unbelievable circumstances. This is worth a further look—you said that this was “unfitting karma” that by inference “fell too quick” so to speak. I would offer an alternative view—karma is an ever evolving unfolding… Trinity implies three. Now there are only two. It might be true that he never saw Rebecca again. But what about Becca? And to what purpose, especially if Trinity isn’t Trinity anymore? Just a thought…

I'll stick to my chapter 1 comments. You're still out as an author and the MC should do the dark deed as suggested. It's his only out even though nothing was his fault; he was literally destroyed by a host of despicably evil people, most of all his "wife".

The end is very good, and stand in line with the dark mood of the story. No happiness for anyone. No happy ending, but bad guys don't go away with impunity.

All in all, a really interesting variation on "revenge on dead man" theme. Like the great "Another Love" of RichardGerald or "The Diary of Jane" by Kalimaxos (too bad this story was taken away from this site after being published).

Isn’t gonna make my favorite list. Left a lot of hanging chads and her all out love for him in the beginning flew in the face of her words and deeds at the end. I hope. Someone does take up the cause of writing a proper ending.

A fascinating premise, gripping plot, a relatable MC, and exceptionally well-written. There's a lot going on here, a ton to unpack in both chapters, and I think that this could have been expanded (and should be, if you have the inclination) into a much longer form. First on my list would be Rebecca's feelings for Marshall - what were they early on, how have they developed, what are they now? She willingly used him in the worst way possible, but maybe there's something there? If so, he's punished her in strongest way possible - she has now lost both of the loves of her life.

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Second, did I miss it or was Trinity's parentage never disclosed? If Marshall is the father, that opens up another can of worms. He doesn't seem like the type to just walk away from that.

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There's a lot more there as well.

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Random thoughts: He should have put himself at arm's-length from Margaret from the very start. Even if her intent was pure, she's hardly a disinterested party and he needed to find his own counsel immediately. I can't imagine that all of the therapists involved wouldn't lose their licenses permanently. Unless they can put on some type of remarkable song-and-dance that they what they did was part of reasonable protocols for this kind of situation (extremely unlikely in my uninformed opinion) then they're looking at massive malpractice, possible/likely criminal in nature, and civil suits that would bankrupt them all. Can you picture that in court? It'd be like the jury in "The Verdict" asking the judge if they can award *more* than what is being asked.

Wow.

Great story premise and quite original.

The ending fits. All along Rebecca defended Theo too strongly. She wasn’t repentant, her demand for a final meeting was another attempt to cause pain.

The point that bugs me is the videos. They were couriered to Marshall and therefore his property. Leaving the suite, he had lots of doubts about Rebecca. So why didn’t demand the videos?

Strong ending after a weak start. 5*

A vile despicable tale. 5* for a well written story.

I didn't like the story, but damn! 5 stars for originality.

Perhaps not satisfying as in you didn't BTB, but you were trying to write a difficult, psychological story about crazy people and what REALLY happened. Kinda like the real world. While I can't see it as "North by Northwest", you did a good job explaining what happened. Short explanation - people be crazy. And althought I didn't feel it was really a loving wives story, I guess there's not a clear category choice for mental illness. Nicely done.

We dont even know if she is his daughter, i love the ending but its a bit rushed, many unknow answers

In a way this was convoluted but good l’ll need to read it again.

Damp squib…..

Yeah...nope.

Excellent story enjoyed it greatly.

Parts one and two totalled nine pages approximately five of which were psychobabble.

The author wrote a story, used all his skills to fashion a multi page multi chapter piece, telling a fairly convoluted tale at its most basic level a story of spousal abuse. After taking that long to detail the events that unfolded, isn’t it strange that he took less than half a page to explain the denouement tying up all the loose ends in a neat bow. Clearly he got to halfway down page nine and just couldn’t be assed with it anymore.

A convoluted story that made zero sense.

In the end, I still don’t really know what happened, or why or how.

She pretended to hypnotized for years? While hubby really was hypnotized? Then the rape and pregnancy and the so called confession? I mean, what the fuck? Why release tapes that will eventually reveal your culpability? Why show tapes that are likely to convict you?

Again, zero fuckibg sense. Theodore was dead and buried so there was no gain to showing the tapes.

No explanation as to why she thought she should pretend to be hypnotized. Or why the bullshit about not being intimate was a recurring theme.

Seriously, this was just….dumb.

Now....... That was a story !!!! deep, complex, twisted, original, creative. 5* 5* 5* 5*

gimmee some more like it!

Good story and very intriguing. Thank you for sharing.

well thought out and original storyline. Well written. ending a bit too hurried and not as well thought out as the story.

I look forwaed to your next work

End of tale sucked! The slut gets away with many pathetic acts and rides off into the sunset. Meanwhile the poor victim continues to suffer (likely for the rest of his life) with the aftermath of the foul deeds that were perform upon him. Would like to see someone with writing skills create and post a different ending where the slut and her circle of assholes get a payback commiserate with the slime of their deeds!

I didn't understand... It turns out that Rebecca also fooled Theodore too, in that she allowed him to believe that she was under hypnosis? Or was her "glazed look into space" just a game to justify her to her husband, blaming everything on the old man? If Theodore was so concerned about the welfare of Rebecca and Trinity in the family with Marshall, then why did he even start this mess with letters, DVDs, sister and advakat? He would have left his entire inheritance to his "friendly neighbor" - well, the old man went crazy before he died... With whom it does not happen...

if the writing is good, I give a 4. If there is plot originality, I give a 5, generally speaking. If the plot had descended into a cliche ending, I wouldn't have given a 5.

Like so many films, part two is far less good.

But thanks for writing anyway!

RR

Disappointing ending.

This was interesting. Very sorry to see the MC never really received justice.

One question I've wanted to ask for a while is why you prefer the no-win stories/endings? Or the "villains" receive little punishment. Just curious. I think you are a wonderful writer, but would love to see a true happy ending in one of your stories.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us though. Always appreciated. :)

I was fascinated by the first part of this, but left completely confused by this part. The 3, no 4, no 5 therapists and a lawyer- I lost count, all turned into such a muddled mess that NOTHING made sense. So many threads of the story, with more appearing in every paragraph, which were left hanging with no connection- unbelievable. Was the whole world conspiring against him? it sure seemed like it, with no explanation of just why he was so deserving of such an honor. This is pure writing talent mixed up with pure paranoia; the result being the story wound up in quicksand.

It's a horrible day in the LW category

not bad for your first story. Don't worry, you'll get better...

Interesting but the edifice of improbable realities falls apart al fin. Especially with the role Rebecca plays.

A good read, so many of the LW stories are the same old bullshit.

Great series. The process of realizing with the truth was very well written

Where’s FTDS when we need him?!

Too much psycho babble for me with side trips into strange fetishes.

Sigh.

So you went for the unsatisfying ending, just like I've come to expect from your other stories.

You're great at the buildup phases of a story, but the climax and aftermath, not so much are usually major let downs with you.

What I found interesting is that in part one there is the video confession or whatever of Theo he said he placed a command in the MC mind to not review the tapes after 5pm as that I guess is when the sex took place. If the camera was hidden and even the wife did not know how did Theo know? Am I to guess that under hypnosis he asked about any camera?

When you need to defend it right after you wrote it, you yourself know it's bad though.

I am bothered the writer alluded to a DNA test in one of theory dad's but never followed up on any result (or did I miss that information?) Would the storyline have gone in a different direction if Marsh knew it was his child?

It was well written and a journey for sure. Ending felt a bit rushed, and just a tad unfulfilling. But the real world is that way, so that's not an issue.

What he went through. Trauma doesn't begin to describe it. I'd like to see a happy ending for him more than watching his enemies squirming in pain. Not that they don't deserve it, but everyone has to live with their sins. I guess what felt shorted was his ending. Not theirs. Seeing him overcome and find love and trust once again.

Many thanks for a brilliant story. Very thought provoking. The ending seem a tad contrived and rushed and required careful thinking out of the story lines. A bit like a chess game. All my attempts to "second guess" where the story was going... who was responsible... who did what to whom etc and who would be "punished" (BTB) all came up empty. Anyway, greatly enjoyed. Thanks again. Cheers.

The slut just skates away

Good story, very dark but disappointing in that Rebecca was the only one to walk away without punishment.

Even the conspiring therapists walked away with only a slap on the wrist, I think in reality they’d have been finished.

Had I been the MC I’d invest some of that ‘blood money’ on hiring someone to give Rebecca a little pay back. Like for like, see if she thinks it’s no big thing when the shoes on the other foot (pardon the pun)

Great story with a wonderful ending. It's a very sad tale, very well told. Thank you for not sitting on it.

Ed

Great story, very dark, but got sucked into all the same. Enjoyed the twisted premise. Very good ending all tied up. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good story, ending sucks! What's with the baby's DNA? If it's Marshall's, he would have to be more invested. That was odd. For such a good story, the end was awful.

So…purposefully drugging him and then purposefully raping and sexually assaulting him isn’t a criminal act where they live? So his wife got off?

All the things Margaret did and tried to do to him, in concert with her dead brother, didn’t matter because no tape? His sworn testimony, probably largely substantiated by the conspirators after they cracked, wasn’t enough to charge and convict her?

Y’all must live in Russia, or somewhere money is the currency of justice.

Oh, wait!

A very unique story, the MCs questioning is spot on. The real problem is the ending, it has a ton of holes in it.

1) if Rebecca was still trying to drug him with the last meal, a search of the house would likely find it, leading credence to the story.

2) Margaret would be in deep shit. Rebecca started having her thing with Rasmussen when she was under age, as a professional therapist she had mandatory reporting. Almost all states have gotten rid of statute of limitations on that.

3) all the therapists would be charged with a criminal conspiracy, they would lose their licenses for violating professional musician ethics and would go to jail for the conspiracy.

4) Rebecca gets off Scott free. She is a manipulative bitch who never loved him, and in a story like this you want someone to happen to her.

And there is a way they could have charged her with accomplice to rape. Remember the first lawyer? He knew the contents, the summary, so what they did to him would be well known to him. He couldn't claim lawyer client privilege, it does not apply to criminal acts as part of handling the estate. He could be forced to testify to what was in it, that would prove she was a willing accomplice to his rape. If he refused to testify he could be charged as well.

5) the father is also a piece of shit, he was bought off instead of protecting his daughter. Marshall should have done a Texas two step on him, he is as bad as the daughter.

This is 98% a great story, unique, it is brought down by an ending that feels like your mouth after eating cheap chocolate.

I need to quit reading all the comments, half just piss me off. Personally, I liked the way the story quickly moved to an ending. You warned everyone in the first part it would be a Kobayashi Maru and you damn sure followed the plan. Again, I vote on stories that elicit strong emotions in me as I read it, and again all five stars turned golden. Obviously not everyone enjoyed the story, but it landed in my favorites. TY

A very enjoyable and meaningful story. You did a great job with a characters and with the believe ability. I gave the story 4 stars because I wasn't happy with the ending.

You answered a few of my questions/comments from the first chapter in this one, but still some holes. What was the point of raping Marsh? You write Trinity was not his, but given his diagnosis of low motility and count, it would have taken a long time for him to impregnate her. Given Marsh was having unprotected sex with her at the same time, the odds the baby was his would be astronomically in his favor. I just leave those as examples of plot holes, there were more. In total, however, pretty solid job at writing an engaging psycho-thriller. 4*

Wow! The author was right, the ending was not satisfying. The ending reminded me of a NASCAR 600-mile race that was called because of rain with 5 laps to go. Everyone who has watched or followed racing know in a close race everyone is jockeying for position so on the last lap they can swing out and take the lead on the last turn of the last lap and take the checker. We waited and waited and then it was over before the end. For that I gave it only 4-stars.

dammit. I was gripped by the story wondering what was next to come. I was really hoping that Rebecca would have also been a victim in their sick game, that she really didn't have a thing for the pervs old wrinkled balls, but was almost blackmailed or something. high score for the writing, not so much for the ending.

Thanks for something different and interesting. 5*

No worries, man. This end fits! Thanks for such a stark tale!

Well written, engrossing story! But…. Back in the first part of the story, this happened:

- - - - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - - -

"It's decision time," he said. "And always remember, Marshall, I..."

Margaret clicked the video off. I looked at her questioningly.

"It's over Marshall," she said. "If I know him, he was only looking to get one last jab in."

- - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - - -

I really wanted to know what he said!! I was sure it was going to reveal something significant.

Good story.

when a plot seems too complicated to work, sometimes that assumption is true. as in this case.

less would probably have been more, there was a bit too much conspiracy from all sides.

Weird

You couldn't finish a story if your life depended on it.

Trying to understand how this author claimed a couple of days ago that it would be a long indeterminate time between chapters then two days later, it appears. He is a very good writer but this one just seemed a half a step off from being very good. Perhaps he rushed the conclusion based on the negative feedback from part 1? I will definitely look for future works from CWG.

Too confusing to suit me…

Finished it and am a little disappointed but it was interesting but 5*'s worth although you do write well.

Kind of a rough start when the story discription for "Two Feet Above" is (Conclusion to "Two Feet Above"). Funny thing is it's weirdly logical. A concluding part for the story is also a conclusion to the part also.

That being said I'm pretty sure CWG said "Fudge!!" or someother interjection when he noticed the oops. Stuff happens.

Not a bad story, but as the author hinted, the ending didn't make some happy. It wasn't bad, but seemed underwhelming. Maybe it's because CWG has to compete with his previous stories. It's hard to always be on top of one's game.

what you present is to my taste! Better written than many stories here. Some want everything to fit their

beliefs. A little long for many and not enough BTB. Keep writing, the story was well worth the time.

Glad to have you contribute to this site.

"Becca was using her feet and toes in many unnatural and improbable ways on her husband's cock, and every orifice." - He's telling the story, so it should be "my cock."

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@Demosthenes, low motility and sperm count makes conception more difficult, but doesn't change how long impregnation takes.

I was hoping to see some shit fall down on Theo's lawyer. He had knowledge of Theo's crimes and helped set blackmail to destroy Marshall's life if he refused to cooperate. Becca deserves some prison time, but that may have left Marshall to raise the baby.

Why wouldn’t her secretly record the end meeting? Even strict two party consent states usually have a bodily crime victims exception

@Demosthenes384bc

RE: Plot holes..... Given Marsh was having unprotected sex with her at the same time, the odds the baby was his would be astronomically in his favor.

Theo said on one of the DVD's that he had given Becca the "morning after pill" several times after Marsh had sex with her. Since she was in on the whole deal she probably took them on her own.

Keeping track of the characters and all the kind of psycho babble they spew can be tedious to read , heaven knows knows how you managed to dream it up and then put it into words for us .

Compared to the rest of the story , the ending came up as a bit rushed . Perhaps a page longer to include a bit of how this played in court . And then tell us what happened when the papers got a hold of it ?

Trial by the court of public opinion . Careers and reputations ruined .

All in all though , job done , thank you for all the time and effort you put into this .

This conclusion sucks! WTF happened to the good writing from the first part?

After finding out truth he finally got a little wimpy taken away. Say taken as he was whimpering and crying All through the story. She just came out as daddy's girl with substitute

You are correct. It was not a satisfying ending but it was a realistic ending. I still struggle, thinking that a seemingly wonderful wife could be so warped inside. But then again- just watch the news and seemingly normal people do heinous things every single day. Great writing!

She was a co-conspirator in multiple in drug assisted sexual assaults - felony rape and is let go?

And felony conspiracy for her role in all the schemes. Hmm.

good first part crappy ending

5 for the originality of the story. This part was more interesting, but too quick an ending as the tension could have been built up further.

Almost too much psycho-babble making it easy to get lost in it all. But the bottom line is Becca was an intentional manipulated CHEATER trying to blame psycho-shit as her excuse to commit fraud/drugging/adultery. Margaret was defrauding Marsh to get her big payday (and eventually a book/talk-circuit deals too).

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Marshal was Sherlock & Superman in keeping it all straight during Becca's second drugging which Margaret had to be colluding on - creating a conspiracy.

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The looser in all this will be Trinity if she remains in this environment, living with Becca thee psycho-CHEAT to instill crap values Becca got from her father James & Theo. Poor Trinity. And here is where the story cold have gone Hallmark/good if Marsh could man-up and get custody of Trinity and away from Becca/James/Margaret family.

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3***, hooyah

The skill of the author is showm here in a very disturbing and dark tale of manipulation, sexual abuse and victimization.

I can't say I enjoyed it, but I recognize it as a well-written story of a degenerate old man and the young girl he takes advantange of.

I agree ending is unsatisfying, which is especially disappointing given how elaborately and carefully the two stories were presented. In my opinion, the major issue with the conclusion the author offered is the fact Rebecca was not held liable for her actions. It may be true to life, but life is frequently unsatisfying and disappointing. Most readers consume fiction to be entertained and I temporarily distracted from the nature of reality, not to be reminded that we live in a world all too often not ruled by truth and justice but instead by greed and fear.

Absolutely perfect story! I enjoyed the evolution and the ending because I was engrossed in what would or could happen. I accept that there could be a different conclusion but I don’t want to read it. Thanks For providing a wonderful experiance>

ok was this a second part of an earlier story? i feel lost but all that aside why the fuck would victims be friends and get help from the rapist's sister. dude mentally handicap ppl wouldnt do that. i think these ppl were fucked up before they were raped? still not sure what happened there just going off of context . the fact that they was letting the sister of their rapist in makes the whole story too dumb to like. every time maragret is mentioned my mind goes to "why the fuck are these ppl still have involvement with this person"

The looser in all this will be Trinity if she remains in this environment, living with Becca thee psycho-CHEAT to instill crap values Becca got from her father James & Theo. Poor Trinity. And here is where the story cold have gone Hallmark/good if Marsh could man-up and get custody of Trinity and away from Becca/James/Margaret family.

aw in a prefect world maybe but for some reason at least in america judges dont give a shit about mentally fit to be a parent. to be fair to the judges if they did no one would be parents lol

One thing is for sure, you can write good stories. I don't want to talk about the content!

Wow, what a a disappointing 2nd chapter. This story had me on the edge of my seat, but the details (or lack thereof) killed it.

First, Ted had Rebecca take morning after pill, but that would also prevent Ted;s efforts at knocking her up for the same time? Did he somehow time his copulation so that it was given time to fertilize after the effects of the morning after pill wore off? And why use the pill continuously after the MC would have intercourse with her, wouldnt that adversely effect the pregnancy? How did he know the right times to use the pill or not?

Second, the $$$ trail is not clear. Did Margaret do something to get more money than the will stipulated? What were her criimes exactly?

Finally, why would the charade of counseling be put on? Was that a money thing? Why would Rebecca want or need the MC to remain as substitute father?

You used lots of foreshadowing, but then never followed up to tie it all up in the conclusion. Read Qhml1 or Dtiverson or Todd172, they tie all the loose ends up clearly, in a way that the reader can understand. It is a shame you had the bones of a first class story here.

i love this story very refreshing second chapter not as strong as the first but still a great story 5* plus for me

Sad ending to the story.

Well thought out story and kept me reading it to the end.

Compliments to the writer for an original story.

Wow. Great story with no winners only losers. Thanks.

Believable

I liked it. You’ve done better, but it was pretty good.

3 stars. I was tempted for 2 since the main criminal - not the dude but the ex-wife - got away 100% scott free with zero damage. But it's written well so I'll be generous and add 1 star.

Could have been great, if only the author had some karmic punishment for the piece of shit, even if not meted by main hero.

BS he was drugged they have and the other lawyer recording in this day and age nothing is gone. Never mind the testamony of the therapist. Wife would be in jail also she would.not have just disapeared. Also calling the child is not an insult bastard is more.lilely amd thw teal it was the wife

Fucking delusional writer…..

WOW The first chapter I thought was just a little bit off but after reading chapter 2 I sort of understand why the hair on the back of my neck seemed to be rising A well put together tale BUT Not a GREAT tale sorry (jaybee186)

Damn...what a rough series.