All Comments on 'Whitney's Naughty Relatives Ch. 01'

Don;t stop now, this is one HOT story, Want to read more about her Fun at uncle James place.

This is another formula type story only a one

great start hope there is a part 2

This is a decent story. It's well-written. There are few arguable grammatical errors. And yet the same moron who defends the most badly written garbage, and who whines when someone criticizes that same garbage (yeah, you, Peteco) is now bitching because this story is "formulaic"? It's no worse (and a hell of a lot better) than a boat-load of other crap I see posted here. Crap that you seemed to like, Peteco. You know what I think we have here? I think we've discovered that Peteco is a reverse snob: He loves shit that looks like the incoherent ramblings from the fevered mind of an illiterate adolescent, but DISLIKES coherent, grammatically correct stories turned in by authors actually QUALIFIED to submit a piece.

Wow. You're more of an idiot that even "I" gave you credit for, Peteco. Are you inbred, or just naturally stupid?

I hope there aren't too many grammatical errors, although some may have been intentional on my part. I run everything through a spell check and I don't always worry about run-on sentences or double-negatives because that's the way that people talk.

Is there a formula here? Likely yes, most erotica has a basic formula - you want character A to end up with character B (or B & C *chuckle*) and you don't want to take forever to get there or readers lose interest. Oddly, I find a lot of my "romantic" stories (and I wrote 2 new ones in that genre at the same time I wrote this) don't have the readership, despite the style of writing.

Valid criticisms and ones that are well thought out are always welcome. While I appreciate anyone coming to my defense and enjoying my work, let's keep the name calling down, please? If Peteco is indeed a "flamer" (someone who gives stories a low vote for the fun of it) he can only do it once. I have my readers and this one seems to be getting nice reaction. For those who enjoyed the work, I urge you to vote because comments (thanks so much) and votes are the best way to let an author know we're on the right track.

Appreciate it very much, sincerely, BrettJ

The story is fine and I liked the premise. My only complaint is that it needs to be just a bit more detailed and explicit with the sexual activities, even if it makes the story a bit longer. Also, how about description of Whitney: ht,wt, breast size,etc.

Great beginning, I do however think it would have been a lot better if you described what the women looked liked, It was nice of you to move quickly to the sex part but a little foreplay would have been nice.

By the way Brett I like love stories too, at 71 I'm still a bit of a romantic LOL

I am not going to overdo the description of women's breast sizes and such as some of my women readers have complained that's a bit formulaic and it leaves less to the imagination. In some tales I will, in some I will not. Nor will I use another reader's suggestion to have a guy with a "12 inch cock fucking the hell out of ..." Sorry, guys with rods that long can't usually fuck the hell out of anything - so there's too much suspension of disbelief.

What I can and will do is try to continue the story, hope you all enjoy the next chapter and that something sparks your imagination. If it doesn't - fine, move on to another story and I thank you for your time. If it does, I ask you comment, vote again and keep reading. I want even my fantasy-based stuff to entertain, but I hope that I have written enough by now to gain your trust as an author.

Thanks for the comments, regards from BrettJ

While it is true I would like more description of the charactors ( I picture them in my mind as I read), this seems like a good beginning for a multi part story.

I also like the setting and some of the development. I like a few more details when it comes to sex. Since I've not submitted any story here, I can't demand the author do things. I'm puzzled by the formula thing. Is it Aunt/Uncle, Mother/Father, Brother/Sister? There are a few more relatives to pick from, but incest is a limiting category. Since BrettJ is an accomplished author and peteco is not, I'm hesitant to place much credit in his comment. I've made severe comments on stories where everything is out of whack, but this story is not that way at all. I'll be used to the writing style in a few more stories. I do want to see this story to continue.

RS

10/10 for this red hot chapter Brett, two hot cunt's to die for, I would love to fuck myself into next year with two red hot cunt's like this. My girls and I will work something out, more and more please and soon. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's UK