Up To No Good

I felt my smile suddenly vanish. I turned to put the bread into the toaster. "Yeah...that's Lauren Goodwin. Ms. Perfect. Ms. Beautiful. Ms. Everything."

Connor groaned, "C'mon Sis. Be happy for me, for once. Now, I finally got a date. I thought you'd be thrilled. I think you're mad, because you can't tease me about not dating anyone anymore." He playfully pulled my hair.

I found myself unable to smile. I turned to face him again. He looked really happy. I guess I should have been happy, but I wasn't and I knew the sick reason why.

* * *

Patti, Rachel and I decided to have a girl fest later on that day. We were all at Patti's house gossiping about people, and of course, Connor and Lauren came up. They were dying to know how their date had gone. I gave them the Cliff's Notes version and quickly changed the subject.

We wanted to watch a movie, but didn't know what. We just knew it had to be a chick flick. Rachel and Patti hardly got to see any of those, because they both had boyfriends now.

Patti was calling out her movies, "My Best Friends Wedding; Bridget Jones' Diary; Bride Wars; Reality Bites; Say Anything; and Return To Blue Lagoon-"

"Yes!" I shrieked.

Rachel almost messed up her nail polish when I yelled. "Ok, ok, calm down," she said, laughing.

I felt my heart pounding. "Sorry. I just really like that movie."

Patti frowned, "Um, ok...I guess. What do you say, Rache?"

Rachel shrugged, "Sure, why not? Brian Krause is kinda hot in that movie."

Patti went ahead and popped in the DVD. We all sat back on Patti's bed and watched Return To The Blue Lagoon, which was clearly about incest. It was extremely sexy and intriguing. I had never really liked this movie, but considering the emotions I was going through, it was the perfect movie to let my mind wander and imagine myself and Connor, stranded on an island. The thought of it made my toes want to curl! I found myself smiling a little too much during the movie.

* * *

When Rachel dropped me off at home, I saw Lauren's red BMW parked in our driveway. I cursed silently.

"Uh, oh. Looks like Ms. Perfect is here," Rachel teased.

"What's she doing here?" I asked, out loud.

Rachel giggled, "I bet she's up to no good, like you say."

"Yeah, I bet."

I thanked Rachel for the ride and got out of her car. I didn't really want to go inside, but where else could I go? When I walked in I saw Mom, Dad, Connor and Lauren all gathered around the living room. Lauren was sitting pretty on a stool, while Mom and Dad watched, as Connor did his magic. He was painting Lauren. His eyes looked up, when I closed the door. My folks turned around and Lauren stayed still.

"Hey, Honey. You should come and look at your brother in action!" Dad announced, proudly. I could tell he was enjoying having Lauren in his living room. "Hey, Girl!" Lauren said, in a major fake friendly voice, but couldn't turn around, since Connor had to have her sit still.

I walked in slowly and stood behind my parents. Connor looked like he was concentrating really hard on Lauren. He was about halfway done with her portrait. I must admit, he was doing a hell of a job. The portrait almost looked like a photograph, instead of a painting. Lauren looked pretty, wearing a spaghetti strap blue and white maxi dress, and her hair was pinned up with curls spilling everywhere. Her make up was flawless. I hated her even more.

"Your brother sure is talented," Mom beamed.

I silently agreed. Connor did a few more touch ups and stopped. He put his paintbrush down and took off his Kangol hat. "Phew, almost done. Let's take a break huh?"

Lauren budged a bit and slowly got off the stool. She walked over to the half painted portrait and smiled. "Connor! This is so rad! I mean, gosh!" Lauren shrieked.

Connor blushed, "Thanks. We should be done by tonight. I just needed a break. You want something to drink?"

"Yeah sure. Water would be great!" Lauren replied, never taking her eyes off the painting.

Mom and Dad gathered around the painting too. Dad was only too eager to stand next to Lauren. Connor walked past me giving me a "I told you she was into me" look. My heart was breaking.

I went to join my folks and arrogant Lauren. "Looks great." I said, dryly.

"I know, right Girl? Your brother is so awesome! He's so sweet to do this for me."

If she called me "Girl" one more time, I'd punch out her oh so perfect teeth. Connor came over with a bottle of water for her and a soda for him. He stood back and admired his own art.

"Not bad. It's my first portrait actually. I always wanted to draw my baby sis here, but she and I were always too busy fighting." Connor looked over at me.

He called me Baby Sis, just because he was born four minutes and fifteen seconds before me. Had I known that Connor wanted to draw me, I would have let him. Or would I? Things had just gotten so confusing, since Lauren came around. Damn her!

"I think you should do a lot more. You are brilliant! I guess you get that from your father huh?" Lauren was starting the whole flirting bit with father and son again. My mom shot me a look of disgust and I laughed, quietly.

I went to my room to get away from Connor and Lauren. I wanted to just be in my own, incest filled, fantasy world. How could I have never known how hot I was for my brother? I had always made fun of him for not dating and now that some girl was interested in him, I was pissed off. What the hell was wrong with me?

* * *

Connor finished the portrait that night, but had to do some small retouches on his own. He promised Lauren that he'd have her portrait ready to go by Wednesday afternoon. The thing that really irked me was that Lauren's portrait was in the living room. Every time I came home, there was Ms. Perfect staring at me. Ugh!

"Why can't you put your little girlfriends' portrait in your room?" I asked Connor Monday after school. We'd just gotten home and Connor was ready to work on retouching the painting.

"Carrie, what's your problem? I need it to be out here, because my room is small. Unless of course, you want it in YOUR room."

I pushed him out of my way. "No thanks. Just hurry up and finish it." I rushed to the kitchen to get me some water. Connor followed me.

"You know. Lauren and I are going out again Wednesday night. She's coming over to pick up her painting and then I'm going to ask her to dinner."

I took a big gulp of water. My heart was shattering more each minute. "Good for you. As long as her face isn't the first thing I see when I walk in this house, that's fine with me." With that, I walked away. I went into my room and turned on my stereo. I cried for a while. I was crying because of my own forbidden heartbreak. I was sick; sick in the head. How could I keep behaving this way? Would Connor catch on and call me disgusting? Probably. The thought made me cry even more.

* * *

Wednesday evening, my mother MADE me sit in the living room with her, Dad and Connor. We waited for Ms. Perfect to arrive. Connor was going to show us his finished product. He sat on the couch across from me, looking quite nervous.

He stood up a few times and paced the room. I wanted to get the hell out of there quick. I didn't care about Lauren. And I sure as hell didn't want to see Lauren hugging and kissing Connor once she saw her portrait.

Dad was smiling ear to ear and Mom looked uneasy. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and we all knew Lauren had arrived. Connor took a deep breath and went over to greet her.

She came in, wearing a short blue jean skirt, knee high boots and a black wool sweater. Her hair was braided and her make up looked flawless, like always. Bitch.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Watson. Hey, Carrie!" she said cheerfully as she walked in. Mom hesitantly greeted her and Dad got up to shake her hand. I just gave her a weak wave.

"You ready to see it?" Connor asked, timidly.

"Yes!" She yelped.

Connor walked over to the canvas and uncovered it. My jaw dropped. The portrait was absolutely amazing! It looked so real and looked like something a professional would have done. My mom and dad smiled proudly.

"Oh my God!" Lauren gasped, "It's...it's...oh wow!" She threw her arms around Connor and I just looked down. I stared at the hardwood floor, until I knew she'd unlocked herself from my brother.

"Connor! Thank you! Thank you!" She was glowing.

Connor's handsome face was turning redder by the minute. He was enjoying watching Lauren admire the portrait.

"I'm glad you like it, Lauren," he said sweetly.

"Like it? I love it! You are a genius!" Lauren hugged Connor once again, almost making me gag.

"Connor, it's beautiful," my mom said.

"Very lovely portrait of a lovely young lady," Dad said, in a flirty voice. Mom nudged him.

"It's a real work of art, Bro." I added.

"Well, we're going to leave you two alone now." Mom began, "I got to get started on dinner."

She got up and my dad hesitated for a minute, but reluctantly followed my mom to the kitchen. I was getting up, when I heard Connor ask Lauren out.

"So...I was thinking...do you want to go have dinner in a bit? Kind of a portrait celebration?" He was really nervous.

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Connor, that's sweet, but I can't. I got to get home and start wrapping this portrait up. I'll bet Greg is going to love it!"

I gasped and Connor let go of Lauren's hand. "Greg?" he asked.

She nodded happily, "Yeah. Greg. My college boyfriend. We met on the internet."

I wanted nothing more than to go slap Lauren Goodwin. How dare she! I knew it! I knew it!

"You've got a boyfriend and you didn't tell my brother?" I asked, angrily!

Connor quickly came between us. He knew I had a short fuse. "It's cool Carrie. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, ok."

"She could have said that the portrait was for her man, instead of leading you on!"

Lauren began to look edgy. She grabbed her portrait and held it against her. "I think I should be going now. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Connor."

"Yeah, whatever! Get out and never come back! You hear!" I yelled.

My folks came out from the kitchen. "What's going on?" My father asked.

"Oh nothing, Dad. Just Lauren Goodwin breaking your son's heart!" I blurted out.

Connor sighed, "Dad, it's ok. Carrie, you need to calm down."

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Watson," Lauren said quietly and began to walk away. She turned, before she got to the door, "Thanks again, Connor." Then she left.

We all stayed silent for a minute. "Carrie, where are your manners? You were very rude to Lauren!" Dad scolded me.

I flopped down on the couch and pouted.

"Dad, it's ok. Look the portrait is done and Lauren and I are done. I was happy to do this for her. I figured she and I might have something going on, but I guess I was wrong," Connor said, sadly.

"Are you going to be ok?" Mom asked him.

He nodded. He began to gather his art supplies and folded his easel. "Well, it's been an interesting evening. I'm going to go chill in my room." He was quietly walking away.

"Don't you want dinner?" Mom called out.

"Nah. I'm ok. Thanks."

He went to his room and shut the door. He never came out of his room for the rest of the night.

* * *

The next day when Connor drove me to school, he was quiet. I didn't know what to say. I only wanted to hold him and tell him that I loved him and that Lauren was stupid for doing that to him.

"Go on and say it, Carrie," Connor said, out of the blue.

I looked over at him, "What?"

He flashed me an angry look, "Go on and say, 'I told you so.'; I know you're dying to tell me."

I felt like crying. "No. I mean, yes, I warned you, but-"

"I knew it. Ok, so you were right and I was the idiot. Go on."

I pursed my lips for a second. "Connor that's not true. You didn't know. You were giving her the benefit of the doubt."

He scoffed. "Yeah, that figures. I was crazy to think that Lauren Goodwin would like me. I was crazy to think that ANY girl would like me."

I stared at him and saw his eyes water. He took a deep breath, fighting his tears.

"Connor, don't say that. Lauren uses everyone in her life. I was hoping that maybe with you it would be different. I wanted you to be happy," I was lying...in a way.

"Yeah, well...I'll be out of high school soon and going to college, where maybe I can meet mature girls. I'm tired of all these damn games."

I reached over and put my hand over his, "Not all girls play games, Connor."

He looked over at me, and then looked down to see my hand placed over his. We were silent for a moment and I quickly took my hand off of his. I felt my legs shaking and my breath go short. He got quiet and remained like that all the way to school.

* * *

"Hey Carrie!" Jamie said breathlessly as she caught up to me on my way to first period. "I heard about Lauren and Connor. I'm sorry. That bitch!"

I shrugged, "It's ok. I just feel bad for Connor. He really liked her."

"Yeah, I know, but hey, he could do better. Tell your bro I'll go out with him." She smiled and I cringed. No offense to Jamie, but I didn't want Connor to go out with her or ANYONE. I was quite selfish.

"He just got heartbroken Jamie. Give him time." I really wanted to tell her to just forget it; no way; no day!

By lunchtime, the word was all over school. Lauren wasn't hated though. They all just made Connor look bad; by saying he's such a sappy guy, who falls in love too easily.

* * *

Friday, Connor didn't go to school. Dad took me to school, even though I didn't really want to go. Connor didn't eat dinner with us again and he'd told Mom and Dad that he was sick. Mom knew he wasn't, but "believed" him because she knew he was sad.

I couldn't concentrate on school. Every time I tried to listen to a lecture, I'd get back to thinking about Connor. I was hoping he was ok. I was hoping he wasn't feeling sorry for himself. I was hoping he'd want me to be home with him.

By third period, I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to cut class and caught the city bus, home. It was cold that late morning. I knew I'd have to walk at least half a mile from where the bus dropped me off.

I wrapped my scarf around my neck and put my gloves on before getting off the bus. The sky was dark and it looked more like early evening time, instead of early morning. I walked for what seemed to be forever . When I finally got home, I saw Connor's car was gone. I cursed.

I went in the house anyway and embraced the warm air that hit me when I walked in. I hung my coat and scarf up and took off my gloves. I went to my room, kicked my boots off and took my sweater off, leaving me in a light long sleeve tee shirt and my jeans.

Just then, I heard Connor's car pull up the driveway. I went to the living room and he almost jumped when he saw me, as he opened the door.

"What the hell? Damn Carrie, you scared me!" He put his hand on his heart, as if he were having a heart attack.

"Sorry. I was worried about you, so I cut class."

He took off his coat and hung it up on the coat rack and locked up the door. "You should really get back to school. You can chill here for a bit, but then I'm driving you back."

I shook my head. "No way. I'm worried about you."

He laughed. "Worried?"

"Yeah. Where did you just come from?"

"I just went for a drive. Had some things to think over that's all. But I'm cool. No need to worry about me, Sis."

He walked past me and went into the kitchen. I trailed him a few seconds later. "You want some cocoa? It's so cold out there! I swear my hands feel frozen."

"Yeah, sure. But, are you really ok? I mean you can tell me." I moved to stand closer to him.

He smirked, "Honestly, at first, I wasn't ok. I mean, yesterday everyone treated me like a leper. So, I didn't want to go to school today. After everyone left, I got up, ate some warm oatmeal and decided to go take a ride. After an hour of driving around and listening to some classic rock, I felt a lot better. I mean, so what if Lauren didn't really like me? I was the one thinking she did. She never flat out told me that she was interested in me."

"Yeah, but she did kind of lead you on. I mean, she was even flirting with Dad!"

He laughed, "Yeah, but that's just the way she is, I guess. Some people like to flirt. She's good at it."

I winced, "So, you're over her?"

He was warming up two cups of water in the microwave. "I guess I am. I mean, I'm still sort of hurt, but I'll get over it. I always get over things like that."

I gulped. "What do you mean; you always get over things like that?"

He looked at me. His pale blue eyes were filled with loneliness. "It's not the first time a girl has pretended she likes me, you know? That's why I said I couldn't wait to get out of high school. I want to meet a girl that will be real with me. Someone who likes me, for me. I mean, c'mon, I even cut my hair for Lauren and began to wear those dreadful polo shirts. That wasn't me. I just wanted to impress her, I guess." He looked down.

"I think you're great, Bro. I don't think you have to impress anyone."

He looked at me for a moment. "If only you weren't my sister...." His voice trailed off.

I inched closer to him. "Yeah? If I wasn't your sister, then what?"

He licked his lips, "Well you know, if you think I'm boyfriend material...you know. I mean, I don't think you'd give me a chance, if we weren't related," he laughed nervously.

I moved even closer. I wanted to tell him that I'd give him a chance right then and there. Even though, we were related. Even though, we were born together. Even though, he was my brother; my flesh and blood. Instead, I reached up and placed my lips on his.

The microwave beeped, indicating the hot water was ready. Connor didn't move. He kept his lips pressed against mine. I didn't know if he'd ever kissed any other girls, before me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt his hands on my waist. I parted my lips slightly, waiting for his reaction. He kept his lips tightened, as if he was afraid to accept my tongue in his mouth.

I pulled away slowly, just to check if it was forgivable to continue kissing him. I looked into his eyes. I smiled up at him and touched his face. "You want me to kiss you again? I can stop...if you want."

He was breathing fast. He pulled me closer to him. He leaned down and put his lips on mine. I parted my lips for the second time and this time, he copied my move. His lips parted, making our kiss slightly more wet and intense. My heart was racing and suddenly, I didn't need the cocoa to warm me up.

Connor put his arms around my waist, holding me tight. We continued to kiss softly and slowly. I dared to let my tongue slide into his mouth. I felt him tense up, as I did that. He welcomed my tongue in his mouth and pressed his against mine. Finally our tongues were entwined and our bodies were pressed together. I didn't know where all of this would lead and at that moment, I didn't care.

Our kiss got more powerful. My mind was spinning and I felt as if I were losing my breath. He pulled back and gasped. "Carrie," he whispered my name like he had never done before. "I love you. I love you." He buried his face in my hair and held me. I held him back and leaned against his chest.

"I love you, Connor," I murmured.

He broke our embrace and looked into my eyes. "I can't believe we just kissed."

I smiled up at him and touched his face. "Neither can I, but I really liked it."

"Me too. I'm just...I don't know. It feels weird and wrong but then it's kind of...sexy."

"I want to kiss you more," I said boldly.

He leaned down to give me a deep and wet kiss. I gasped when he broke our kiss. "This feels like a fantasy."

I began to kiss his neck. I could smell his AXE spray on him. "Do brothers fantasize about their sisters?"