The Long Goodbye

Pia was looking at me with sheer terror. My internal psychic shields were about to collapse. They were the only things keeping me from folding. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid. I said, "There is no way we can continue to be married Pia. So, I am leaving for good." I pivoted violently toward the garage. Pia began an ear-piercing wail.

I stopped and turned toward her. I wanted her to see my face. I probably looked like somebody was running my nuts through a Fruit Ninja, because Pia stopped crying and literally recoiled in horror. I said as kindly as I could, "Pia, you have been a wonderful wife and partner. I will always love you. It doesn't have to be like this. So, accept the fact that our marriage is over and move on!!"

She looked at me pleadingly. God!! This was hard. I loved her and she was desperately confused and helpless. I said gently but firmly, "I believe that you are the victim of an evil man. But, you did the crime. There is no hope for reconciliation. So, let's please just work together to make this easy on both of us."

Then I added mildly, "We're not as young as we were when we started this journey. But you are still an attractive woman. You'll find somebody and when you do, remember this day. Don't make the same mistake again." I turned and walked sadly into the garage. I started the big diesel, backed out and drove away from the happiest years of my life.

~

Pia was catatonic. She was a profoundly emotional woman, not a logical one. Those deep, wildly swirling emotions had her locked in a claustrophobic cell. Her entire life had crashed and burned in a mere fifteen minutes. She kept thinking she would wake up and this would all be a horrible dream.

Her mind was screaming, "This can't be happening." She kept telling herself, it was nothing; just a sexual adventure. She had been so careful. She had never expected to get caught. But, she had, and the outcome was beyond her reckoning.

Like most people, Pia just lived her life. She didn't think about big-picture consequences; long-term outcomes were far too abstract to influence her everyday decisions. Bad things happened to OTHER people, not to her. So naturally, she didn't comprehend the risk she was taking fucking Tedesco. If she had, she never would have done it.

Sex was a central part of who she was; like eating, or breathing. It wasn't something she even thought about. So, the connection between wild sex with another man and losing her husband was far too abstract for her to grasp. She didn't have a fallback when it happened.

The panic set in. What had she done???!! Her one forlorn hope was that Joey would see that he couldn't live without her. He would come back and she would devote herself body and soul to making it up to him. But right now, she couldn't be alone. She needed someone to help her deal with the mind-killing anguish she was experiencing.

She was ashamed to call any of her friends. That's because the first question would be, "Why?" Pia didn't want to answer that. She could have painted Joey as the bad-guy. After all, he was the one who had left. But, evidence to the contrary, Pia was an honest person and she loved Joey far too much to hide behind blatant falsehood. So, she dialed the only person she could think of. She called John Tedesco.

Pia was a smart woman but she was stupid in this one thing. All Pia wanted was a friend. A person who could help her put things in perspective. She needed somebody to help ease her profound sense of isolation. She wanted a strong man to tell her that it was all right; that things would turn out okay. John loved her and he was the only person who knew the circumstance. So, he was the one human being she could turn to for comfort.

Tedesco was overjoyed. He finally had Pia where he wanted her; lonely, helpless and ready to service him. He said, "Of course I'll come over. Is it safe?" At his core, Tedesco was a coward.

She said, "He's gone John!! That's why I need somebody!! I don't know what I'll do without him."

Tedesco was pissed. Pia was mourning the loss of that gorilla. But, he was also horny. It HAD been five hours since they had last fucked. Accordingly, he was standing in Joey and Pia's living room a half hour later. It lacked his style and sophistication. But, Pia looked delectable. Her hair was a mess, she had been crying, and she was humidly vulnerable. That was the way Tedesco liked them; primed and ready to be taken advantage of.

Tedesco sat down at the end of the couch. He motioned to Pia to turn sideways and he took her in his arms. She snuggled those huge floating boobs into his chest, put her arms around him and began to softly weep. Tedesco said, "There, there Pia, I'm here, I'll make everything all right."

She began to wail. She said, "He's gone John. I fucked up. He'll never come back. I need him so much." This pissed Tedesco off even more.

She was supposed to be heating up; not carrying-on about her Neanderthal husband. It enraged him. So, Tedesco did what he always did to refocus her. He raised her face and gave her a greedy kiss. Her mouth opened wide, she moaned and her tongue sought his.

Then she made a sound of frustration and said, "No John, no more, I won't fuck you any more. That was what lost my husband. I have to stay true to him now, if I ever want him back."

Tedesco was fuming. He said with irritation in his voice, "Grow up Pia; it's over. He's not coming back." With that he grabbed her in his usual hungry embrace and began kissing her with his customary ardor. That normally got her rolling. Her refusal had stirred him; made it a challenge. He suddenly wanted to fuck Pia more than he had ever wanted to fuck anybody in his life.

She pushed him back and said, "I said NO John. I will NOT have sex with you ever again. It was the sex that ruined my life."

Tedesco was furious. He said, "Listen slut, you don't tell me, NO. You're mine and I want you NOW. So, get out of those clothes and get into that bedroom."

Pia finally saw it. It sickened her. Tedesco didn't have the slightest respect for her. She was just somebody to fuck. She pushed herself out of his arms, rose and said, "OUT!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!"

Tedesco looked surprised. Then, he said with amusement in his voice, "Remember where you work Pia. Remember whose name is on the door."

Pia said furiously, "That will make it even easier to sue you for sexual harassment. Joey has very explicit videos. That video will be all the proof I need. Particularly when I tell the Judge that you raped me the first time."

That did it for Tedesco. Pia was standing in the middle of the living room. Her dark Italian eyes were flashing defiance. Her gorgeous body was almost vibrating with angry tension. In short, she looked scrumptious. He strode across the floor, grabbed her and began dragging her toward the bedroom.

She tried to knee him in the groin but he twisted and got a thigh in the way. Then he slapped her hard. That would calm her down. She went limp from the shock of the blow and he dragged her the rest of the way into the bedroom.

He tossed her on the bed. He hurriedly stripped them both. She was starting to come around. So, he shoved her into position to take her missionary style; her huge tits jiggling like a bowl full of Jello. He grabbed her gorgeous long legs, pushed them up toward her shoulders and drove himself into her. For the first and only time she was dry.

As he bottomed out, the pain brought Pia around. She shrieked in agony and then raked Tedesco's face with her nails. That infuriated him. He hit her in the head: hard!! She lapsed back into unconsciousness.

He thought to himself, "This bitch was going to have to learn her place." Tedesco began to pound Pia unmercifully.

She had started to lubricate a bit and she was making explosive "Uh-Uh-Uh!!" noises, even though her head was lolling from side-to-side, like she was still out cold.

He picked up the pace and she began to moan and whimper. That was better. Finally, Tedesco got what he had been seeking. He proclaimed it by a loud roar of "FUCK-YES!!" But, rather than cumming like she always did; in a final desperate act of defiance Pia reached down, and squeezed Tedesco's balls as hard as she could. The hostility and agony of that made Tedesco go berserk. He launched a series of out-of-control blows at her face and head.

Tedesco finally got his sanity back. He pulled out of Pia with a loud sucking sound; stood and gazed with horror at what he had done. Pia was unmoving, legs wide apart, his cum leaking out of her, huge boobs puddled on her chest. Her nose was flat. Her face was a mask of blood and there appeared to be bone showing through some of the cuts. Tedesco knew he had to get out of there fast; and he needed an alibi.

He dressed quickly and ran to his car, leaving the front door of the house slightly ajar. He knew that he couldn't use his own cell. But there was an old-fashioned pay phone in a party store right around the corner. Ten minutes later, he called 911. He told the operator with phony panic in his voice, "My friend just called and told me that her ex-husband was breaking into her house. I think you should get over there right away."

~

Kelly called as I was fleeing my personal Armageddon. She said, "How did it go? Let me buy you a drink and you can tell me about it."

I smiled bitterly to myself and said, "It was like strangling puppies. She just seemed to go inert. I had to get out of there. I couldn't stand the pain."

Kelly said, "I am NOT going to let you go through this by yourself. Where do you want to meet?"

I said, "Are you sure you want to do this? I don't think I would be very good company."

She said teasingly, "If you don't come out with me I am going to drag you out. Remember, I'm armed and I'm a marksman." She could drive a nail with that little Sig of hers.

Exactly one-half-hour, I was sitting across from the stunningly beautiful Kelly McMahan. She was in a sleeveless black cotton tank top with those big round mounds forming an awe-inspiring cleavage. She wore a pair of tight jeans; legs exceptionally long and athletic.

We were at the Pub over on West Jarvis. She had two pints in front of her. When I sat down, every guy in the place was staring at us. Unfortunately, the Beauty and the Beast analogy was far too obvious. She shoved a pint over. I took a sip and said, "Thanks kiddo, I needed this."

She said, amused, "Strangling puppies?"

I said, "It's just an analogy. But she seemed so helpless and childlike. I felt like the bad guy. Pia is an absolute wildcat in the bedroom. But, she is cheerful, sweet and unassuming in every other part of her life."

I grimaced and said, "She was utterly ambushed by the video. It was like she was watching some alternate form of reality. I truly believe that she thought that fucking him had nothing to do with her actual-life."

Kelly looked sympathetic. She said, "As crazy as it might sound, I'm sure she didn't. He brought out a side of her that neither of you knew existed. I watched the whole thing and it was your classic dominant-submissive scenario."

Kelly said dryly, "From what I saw, Pia was just going along with his program. The guy treated her like an object. It was like she was a robot and he did the driving."

I said with anger in my voice, "What you're saying might be true. But it still doesn't change what she did."

Kelly nodded in agreement and said, "I didn't expect it to. I just thought you could use a little context; maybe understand how little you had to do with what happened." Then she said with feeling, "Perhaps it will help you forgive her someday."

I said, "I have already forgiven her. She never intended for it to happen. You could tell that by her reaction."

I was looking at Kelly and trying to figure out how such an exceptional beauty could be so caring, self-effacing and wise. She was not the image society has about women like her. I said wonderingly, "You know; you don't act like the gorgeous female that you are. Are you some kind of nerd-girl who's invented a Victoria's Secret Model body-suit to wear when you're out in public?"

Kelly laughed. She certainly had a deep and hearty laugh. She said, "I know that my looks give me special status. I've known that since I grew these." She pointed to her big, round, high, firm breasts.

She said with disgust, "I was a summa graduate of the University of Michigan in Computer Science. I was a Graduate Fellow at the University of Chicago. But, I am just a tale of two titties to you simple creatures. It's demeaning. But, you learn to live with it." She smiled slyly and added, "It DOES give you astonishing power over half the world's population."

Then she looked at me like, she wanted me to understand. She said, "I am what you see on the outside. But that's not who I really AM. More importantly, I am always genuine, with you." She added tenderly, "You are my partner. You are my closest friend. We are bound together by ties of loyalty and respect. We have a much closer connection than I have with any other man."

This lovely and accomplished young woman had just told me that she was closer to me than she was to any other person. I knew that Kelly could get me through this shitstorm. I had no desire to get physical with her. That would have spoiled our special joining; like it had ruined my marriage. I just needed a friend.

I said, "Same to you. You look like a movie star and I look like a caveman but we are both the same person inside. In a lot of ways, you are closer to me than Pia ever was. We think alike, have the same values, and sensibilities. I see a lot of me in your, mannerisms, and motivations." Then I gave her an ironic smile and said, "Seriously?? How could you not love yourself?"

Of course, Kelly's a woman and so she got that liquid look, reached across the table and took my hand. She said, "Don't forget that in the dark days ahead. You can always count on me and I will never let you down." I knew I had a single steadfast partner, which is all a man needs.

We killed a couple of hours just talking. It seemed natural, after what we had just shared. I told her about my life in the Army. I said, "I encountered every form of low-life human scum and witnessed every example of depravity by the time I turned 21." I met Pia right after I got out, and the rest is history."

I said sadly, "She made this jaded army cop into a better human being. She was such a sweet, kind and happy person. That is why I married her and that is why I am so bereft. Now I have no future, except work and perhaps you, my dear friend."

That was a bit forward but it was how I felt. Kelly looked at me and said, "I grew up in Northern Michigan, Petoskey to be exact. Even though both my parents loved me; I never had the feeling that I belonged. I was looking for an answer to a question I couldn't pose."

She glanced at me like she wanted me to understand something significant, and said, "You came along and gave me the answer. You taught me about commitment, duty and honor. Now, my only aim is to be with you for as long as you want me." Now, THAT was enlightening

We parted company. Kelly gave me a sweet kiss on my cheek. She said, "Hang in there, Joey. It gets better from here." Then she hopped into her little Miata and drove off. I got into my big old Super Duty and drove over to the Long Stay.

All the way there I was thinking about Kelly and what she had just said. I asked myself, "Was she serious? If she was, that was very close to a declaration of love. My life had ended a mere five hours earlier and things were going to be extremely messy for a long time. But, I had this bright new shining star to steer by. I said to myself, "Maybe you'll make it after all."

I parked the truck and walked into the lobby. A couple of uniformed officers were standing there along with a guy who reeked of stale donuts. I began to move around them. Donuts said, "Joey Wakender?" I said, "Yes." He said, "It's him!!" The uniforms grabbed my arms. Donuts said, "Joe Wakender, we want to talk to you about the murder of your wife."

~

I sat serenely in the interview room; wondering why they always painted those things birdshit green. I'd been in interview rooms a lot. But, I was always sitting on the opposite side. Stale Donuts and a fat guy with food stains were sitting across from me.

They were just staring. I gave them nothing. Food-stains finally broke the logjam. He said brusquely, "It must have driven you nuts when you found out that she was fucking the other guy."

I said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Stale donuts laughed and said, "Come on Wakender, we know what happened!! Your wife was fucking some slick dude and you couldn't handle it. So, you beat her to death; right there in your marital bed."

I had heard it earlier. But it hadn't registered. A crashing thunderclap of pain blew out the circuits in my brain. I said, "Wait, what???!! Pia!!?? Dead???!! Beaten to death??!! How did that happen???!!"

Stale donuts laughed and said, "You ought to know, since you're the guy who did it." I was too stunned to speak. I just sat there opening and closing my mouth like a boated tuna. Then the appalling reality hit me.

I said with disbelief, "Honestly, you're telling me that my wife is DEAD?"

Food stains laughed and said, "Nice try Wakender. But, it isn't going to work. Now tell us how it happened. We both have wives. We know how it gets when you find out she's fucking around. A guy like you just doesn't know his own strength."

I stared at them appalled. Pia, my Pia, was gone? The woman who adored kittens, dogs and little kids. My sweet, kind, loving, Pia was no more!!??? Sure, we were divorcing. But, that was over her infidelity. It hurt, but it didn't mean that I hated her. Pia was my adored life-partner.

The news was so overwhelming that, Joey Wakender, muscle man extraordinaire, the baddest dude on the entire north side, dropped his head on his arms and sobbed like a baby girl. That disconcertingly female reaction took both detectives out of their game. Eventually, Food Stains heaved his bulk up and went to get me a Kleenex. I was still blubbering when he got back. My face was a combination of tears and snot.

I wiped my eyes and said, "How??!! How did it happen??? Do you have any idea who did it??!!" Both detectives just sat there staring at me. They already KNEW who did it. I said, "Wait a minute!! You're nuts!! I wouldn't hurt ANY woman, let alone Pia. She was my wife. I loved her. Where would you GET an idea like that?"

Stale donuts said, "We talked to a guy at her work. He told us about the affair."

I said as calmly as I could, "His name is John Tedesco and if I were you I would be looking at him." Cold hard remorseless ice began to form in my soul. I knew what I had to do. But first, I had to get out of there.

I sat back in my chair and said, "I was a cop in the Army. I know what you're doing. If the wife is dead than you look at the husband. When did she die?"

Food stains looked wary and said, "About 9:00, give-or-take."

I said, "I was with my associate from 7:30 this evening until 10:45. Check with her. I'm sure everybody at the place noticed us. She's that spectacular."

Food stains said, "Write it down and we'll check it out. But we are holding you until we confirm your alibi."

I said, "What happened? Can you at least tell me that?"

Donuts said, "Somebody beat her to death, after raping her. Let's just say it's going to be a closed coffin. It was somebody with a lot of pent-up rage." He looked at me accusingly. The image flashed through my mind and I almost lost it again.

I took a deep breath and said, "If she was raped, I assume you got the DNA." Donuts looked at food stains and said, "CSI processed the scene, right?"